42 Seconds of Happiness Page #4

[Ike] Anyone would like some more red wine?

[Tomas] I would love some more red wine, thank you.

[Maria] I don't think he needs any more red wine.

[Ben] I'll take some.

[Tomas] I am a big boy, right?

[Maria] Yeah, we just saw.

[Tomas] We got it.

[Ike] Thanks a bunch, Ben.

Seems a decent dude, come on.

We just had a nice meal.

We did not just have a nice meal.

Ugh.

[Maria] You just had several glasses of wine,

and were really kind of a jerk.

Well, thank you very much, Maria.

Wow, I was a jerk. Oh, my goodness.

I'm sorry.

I'm very sorry.

Apology accepted.

Thank you very much.

Do I, I'm sorry, Maria.

Look, I was doing apologies, and you dismissed them.

Shocking.

Ooh, ouch. Sorry.

That was funny.

[Woman] It's about time.

That was funny.

That was funny.

I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it.

I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it.

[Vineke] God, someone's gonna die

if you have another bottle.

[Tomas] No one's gonna, have you seen how tall I am?

I'm only filled up to my calves.

(Laughter)

Look what I found, dun-dun-dun.

Do you want some rose, sweetheart?

[Maria] Don't do that, I already...

Do you want some more?

Do you want some more attitude adjusts first?

You know, I think I just might need to keep pace with you.

[Tomas] Come on, Vineke, we'll toast.

[Maria] Woah! Vinnie...

[Ike] And you were just served.

[Tomas] No, she, she was just served.

Sell the Thurber, come on.

It's what I need to deal with Tomas tonight.

Oh, she brought it back, she brought it back.

Oh, I didn't mean to take that from you.

We made eye contact.

[Ike] Cybil should be the only one that can ever talk.

She dictates the conversations.

[Maria] Thank you, Cybil!

[All] Cybil.

[Felice] Here's to Cybil.

Three cheers.

[Ike] To Cybil, for keeping us civil!

Cybil, for keeping us civil.

Can I ask a favor?

After we get married,

every time I enter a room,

will you please give me a standing ovation?

Let's start now.

Let's start now.

Cybil! Yes! Yes!

(Applause)

[Tomas] Welcome to Cybilization, everybody.

Welcome to Cybilization.

[Woman] Cybil.

She's good at that.

You're my Cybil-ing, I got your back.

And then, can you stand up and wipe a tear away?

No.

(Laughter)

[Cybil] Just one tear.

But you have to be, yeah.

It has to have meaning!

That is my sister-in-law, ladies and gentlemen.

Soon-to-be, soon-to-be. Soon-to-be.

[Cybil] You're welcome.

Let's have a cheer to awkward moments.

Here's to awkward f***ing moments.

Awkward f***ing moments.

[Ike] No, let's cheer to not awkward f***ing moments.

[Ben] To awkward moments.

Awkward.

[Woman] While f***ing.

[Ike] You don't want to see me?

Well, you won't see me.

Like, who else?

Oh, just kidding.

No, you know Ike's got plenty.

[Felice] Get a photobomb.

Get out of here.

Thank you for ruining that lovely moment.

[Tomas] Oh, I didn't ruin anything.

He's got her all on tape.

How was she, how was she?

How were you when you started, recreate the face.

Turn around...

And she was like the coolest, most gorgeous creature ever.

- Stop it.

- Creature.

[Maria] And she asked me out to coffee,

and I freaked out and I didn't go.

Let that happen, let it happen, let's focus.

With what person?

Changes the relationship with...

[Ike] It's different.

You have like, another life to take care of,

and it changes things.

Like, child is difficult.

[Tomas] Exactly, p*ssy.

Hey, I'm against that.

Pussies do beautiful, wonderful things.

Pussies are tender, pussies are sensitive,

and they suffer and they push out life.

They take a lot of pain.

Here's to pussies.

Well, we can call him a dick, and that's fine.

Because, tell me the last time a p*ssy started a war.

Pussies stopped wars.

- Pussies stop wars.

- Pussies stop the wars.

Three cheers to that sh*t.

Um, her name is, her name is Alis.

[Felice] Pussies can stop some wars.

Thank you.

Maybe Felice and I can get along after all.

There's double standards, is all I'm saying.

[Felice] All right, sure.

When they talk about what atrocities are going to happen

to a village after it's been conquered,

are pussies going to go out and cause the damage?

No, d*cks do.

- All right, so, okay.

- [Man] It's true.

So you're saying women are better than men.

[Felice] No, I'm just saying pussies

should not be used as a derogatory term.

[Ben] I love pussies.

[Ike] But d*cks are a derogatory term.

That's what I'm saying.

Don't you?

What?

Uh-oh.

Things are breaking up.

Oh, you've gotta be...

[Tomas] The party's breaking up.

[Ike] f***ing kidding me.

- Hey, Cybil, nice to see you.

- [Ike] Are you joking?

Did you know?

Hey.

[Felice] Hey.

- [Woman] Hi.

- Hi.

Hi, guys.

Let's get a hug.

I want a hug, I want a hug, I want a hug.

I'm coming for hug two.

Hi, you.

I'm glad you came!

Hi! (Mumbles)

Hi, hi.

Hey, this is Marc.

- [Marc] Hey.

- It's Felice.

I've heard great things about you.

Nice to meet you, in person!

Hi!

We've had wine, I, I, I can just...

Yeah, everybody's had a lot of wine.

You had dinner.

- My mouth tastes like church.

- So, um.

Um, I'm gonna show you two around.

[Ike] What does that mean?

Sure, yeah, we can move our stuff down.

Wine, and that bread that's flattened.

[Woman] He'll back down, right?

[Maria] Do you want some wine?

[Alis] Uh, we're gonna put our stuff down.

[Maria] All right.

You got it?

[Alis] I got it, it's...

[Maria] Well, with Tomas and all staying here...

(Mumbles)

Look who's here.

Is there another bottle?

(Car door slams)

(Heavy breathing)

Did you know?

No.

[Ike] The f***ing balls.

[Vineke] Un...

Believable.

[Felice] Okay, relax.

[Tomas] Maria, why didn't you f***ing tell me

that she was bringing Marc?

I didn't know she was bringing Marc.

Yeah, I figured she was coming,

I just didn't...

[Tomas] Her being here is...

- Tomas, I didn't know.

- [Tomas] Bad enough.

And now she's got him?

[Maria] I had no idea.

[Ike] Maria, you let him in the house.

What was I supposed to do?

[Ike] You say, "No."

You kick him out on the f***ing street.

No.

[Ike] That is not f***ing cool.

He's a total a**hole.

Well, what do you know about him?

It doesn't matter what we know about him,

it's not about him.

[Felice] Yeah, you guys are making it about him.

You're saying he's a total a**hole. What...

No, it's not, I'm not saying that.

Please do share what information...

[Ike] I'm not saying that he's an a**hole.

I'm saying that she's a f***ing a**hole for bringing him.

[Felice] Okay, maybe she just wanted to feel accepted

and loved and have someone with her.

Then you tell.

Then you mention that's happening, okay?

She made her choice, okay?

She made her f***ing choice. You don't drop that bomb.

You don't f***ing drop that bomb.

And by the way, he doesn't give a sh*t

about any of her friends.

Let's just make that clear.

[Felice] That's not true, and that's not fair.

Oh, what interaction have you had with him?

I have been with her recently,

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