4 for Texas Page #5

Over your head. That's it.

Here, George!

Hold onto this belt.

You're doing fine.

You're just a bit wet, that's all.

Fine Southern hospitality.

Invite me to buy a boat...

...and you try to drown me.

Right, you're looking great.

Just a little wet, that's all.

There you are.

Come down here to help a friend.

What do they do? They...

- It's still a fine boat.

- I'm sorry, Max didn't mean nothing.

When Max does mean something,

I hope I'm not around.

Wait till you meet Max, though.

Oh, you're gonna...

Boy, oh, boy!

Max, meet Mr. Jarrett.

Mr. Jarrett, Maxine Richter.

Howdy, ma'am.

An unwritten law of the sea says

I must make you welcome.

- Come aboard.

- Yes, ma'am.

The firing must have been

a 21 -gun salute.

By the way, which unwritten law

do I come under?

The law of hospitality

to a man overboard.

I'm not overboard yet.

Not quite yet, but I will admit

just a little push might do it.

- Max.

- Why do you come here?

- He wants to help you, Miss Maxie.

- By looking at me that way?

Well, don't let

the inflamed eyes fool you.

I always look like that

when I go swimming.

Max is as gentle as a kitten,

when you get to know her.

Being welcomed, can I get out from

under the rifle and into dry clothes?

Come inside. You can

change in my cabin.

- What? It's an unwritten law.

- An unwritten law.

That's right.

Unwritten law.

- My glass is empty.

- Coming, Joe.

Who belongs to

this kimono?

- My husband.

- Your husband?

He was shot dead in

a poker game last year.

Too bad.

- A professional gambler?

- Not professional enough, apparently.

Now you're looking for somebody to

provide you with security. Right?

The boat is my security.

I'm looking for a deal.

If somebody wanted to fix it up

as a casino, for instance...

...I would be interested

in any proposition.

I like the service here.

I could make you a proposition.

Good.

- I have a couple of questions for you.

- You go right ahead.

I want to be totally clear. I have no

complaints about the hospitality.

- You have been pleased?

- Yes. It was a pleasure being aboard.

But I was just wondering about

a few little details.

Why did you take

those shots at me?

The men here think a European woman

is available, just like so.

But the shots were a warning.

I can be approached...

...but on my own terms.

- I see. Courtship, European-style.

I like it,

except the first few minutes.

I wasn't trying to hit you. It was...

...how you say,

a come-along.

- "Come-along"? A come-on?

- A come-on.

A 30-caliber come-on. What was with

the crockery and the slap in the face?

Is that more

of that maidenly resistance?

No. That was for the benefit

of the hired help.

- A girl's got her reputation.

- Not my reputation, yours.

Those two will serve you better

if they think you are masterful.

I think I'm being used.

No. You're not being used,

you're being served.

I'm being served?

But why me? Why was I elected?

Why not Zachary Thomas, for instance?

I was giving him the come-along too.

Then Angel told me you got the money.

Fortunately, I like honesty in a

partner. All right, honey.

I'll throw in the money.

Have it fixed up.

We'll be equal partners.

- Equal partners will not work.

- I don't take orders too good.

But I do. You will give the orders.

You will be the master.

I give the orders?

All right. Make that new.

Go on. Another drink.

Yes, sir.

What I don't understand

about European women is...

...why you want me to be

lord and master when I...

...offered you a partnership?

- It's my training, Joe.

How things should be

between a man and a woman.

A man as a partner, I don't

understand. But a master...

A master,

him I know how to handle.

Don't go away, Max.

I just thought of another order.

- We're in business.

- Maybe we're in business.

I never saw a

lady barber before.

- Are there barber schools for ladies?

- No, I learned as a girl.

I remember Mama went after Papa

with a razor a few times.

Zack, why are you letting them

fix up that old tub?

Why would a lady of your breeding

and background...

...want to be a barber?

- The money.

At the moment it's all

under his name in your bank.

- How am I gonna get ahold of it?

- Breeding is acquired.

By legal action.

- Being a barber gives you breeding?

- But that would take time.

I thought I'd try to

sabotage his effort to renovate.

Do you think

this fellow would discourage easily?

No.

When we're done, they'll

be glad to sell the boat for $ 7.12.

- All right, next. Name?

- Mancini. Pete Mancini.

Pete Mancini.

All right, next.

- Name?

- Fred Welsh.

In the saloon, Mancini.

Max'll give you the uniform.

- No guns.

- What if there's any trouble?

Clubs, hammers, fists, feet.

Anything but guns. Now move it.

- Next.

- Five more men, Mr. Jarrett.

- All right, bring 'em on down.

- Come on.

No. You must look as though

you were born to it.

I was born to an alcoholic daddy

who liked all the dollies.

I figure Daddy was right.

Go find your alcohol and your dollies

somewhere else. Now get out!

All right.

What would

your daddy say to that?

Why you...

Joe!

All right,

get rid of him.

Tell Zack I got his message

and I'll deliver his reply personally.

Oh, men!

Anybody else with comments

on what they like or not?

- Can I see you for a moment?

- Sure. Why not?

Why are you going ashore

to see Zack Thomas?

Every square inch

of paint we scraped around here...

...Zack feels like it's coming

off his hide.

He sent him to start trouble.

He sends one stupid little

man to slow us down?

He paid that man

to insult me...

...so you'd go into Zack's

territory with that red in your eye.

If that was his plan,

it worked.

Do you have any reason to think

I admire Zack Thomas?

You gave him

the old come-along.

I heard you been shooting a lot of

ammunition to flirt with Casanova.

Don't shoot at him again.

If you raise the rifle at other men,

I'll break it over your pretty skull.

Joe, there is

no reason to be jealous.

All right, so I gave Zack Thomas

a little come-along.

But, Joe, I didn't

let him come aboard.

- Good afternoon, Mrs. Trowbridge.

- Good afternoon, Williams.

- Good afternoon, Madame Trowbridge.

- Good afternoon.

- Madame Elya will be with you soon.

- Thank you.

Isn't it lucky?

Now we both got fellows.

Of our own.

- Shall we

- Yes, we shall.

It's showtime, Mr. Jarrett.

- I could've outfitted an army by now.

- Not this kind of army, Boss.

We are ready, monsieur.

- That is gorgeous.

- Would you care to sit here?

Beautiful.

How do you like it?

Just ease it across the hips a

little and bring up the neckline.

I understand how it is

when one contemplates marriage.

Marriage? Marriage is

for married people.

Now that you're serious,

you're already acting like a husband.

I am definitely not a husband

and I never intend to become one.

Marriage has nothing to do with it.

It's all right if she wants to go...

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