5 Flights Up Page #5

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I was about to take stock of the shop,

and then this guy comes in.

And I tell him we don't open up

for another hour,

but he won't leave.

Did you see a bomb?

I don't know.

Could there have been a bomb

under his jacket?

Yeah. I don't know.

Maybe.

Then what happened?

He looks pretty scared.

And he goes up to the register

and he takes out all the money.

Nearly 200 bucks.

And I yell at him

to put it back.

But he didn't.

No. He just mumbles something

and he runs right out the door.

What was he saying?

You know, who knows?

I don't speak Muslim.

Thank you, Debbie.

She thinks Muslim is a language.

Well, there you have it.

A harrowing experience.

She ought to get a job

with the Diplomatic Service.

Stay tuned.

We'll be right back...

It's Lily! The dog ladies

made an offer!

Really?

How much?

850.

850?

Well... So low?

It's an offer. That's all.

Yeah. I don't know. What do you think?

Should we take this?

What's the rush?

What's the rush?

We've only been in

the market 20 minutes.

Yeah, but I don't know.

I mean, if this guy blows himself up,

we might not get a better offer.

Aunt Ruth has a point.

If this guy's a terrorist,

I say we wait until this blows over

or he blows himself up.

And then the prices go back

to where they were.

Okay. Whatever you want.

It's your call.

Wait!

I'm getting another call!

Hello.

Don't you think we

should think about it?

No, I don't.

No?

No.

Why not?

Because it's too low.

Okay. That was

the matching sweaters

and they're offering

to go as high as 875.

875?

But you have to

decide now, because they

don't want to get

into a bidding war.

So the offer is only

good for 15 minutes.

But what should we do?

So I'm gonna call

the matching sweaters,

and tell them about

the dog ladies' offer.

And then I'm gonna call the dog

ladies and just stall them.

This is getting confusing.

Relax! This is what I do.

Mr. Hewitt?

I'm going to call the doctor.

He's gonna say that things

are exactly as they were

when you called an hour ago.

Ruth, you have got to

learn to stop worrying.

But I like to worry.

It keeps me calm.

Good news, bad news.

The dog ladies texted,

they're thinking of dropping out.

Matching Sweaters said they

need more time to discuss it.

What's the good news?

A third party has made a bid.

Who?

The woman with

the blue leggings.

Okay, which one was that?

The psychiatrist.

Her.

How much is she offering?

Okay. Should we take it?

You may have a bidding

war on your hands.

And once that starts,

reason goes out the window.

I have had couples practically

offer me their firstborn.

I am gonna call back Dog

Ladies and Matching Sweaters,

tell them about our new bid.

Then I'm gonna

call Blue Leggings

and tell her we are

considering her offer.

- God.

- Hi...

What?

It's like we're talking about

Indians in the Old West.

Blue Leggings and Lone Eagle.

Stop it.

Twin Sweaters and Running Trout.

Stop it.

Trout don't run.

Okay! Hold on.

Did you get my message?

Yeah, but here's

the thing. I don't...

I understand.

I will, ask them.

You should pay attention to her.

Okay. Bye.

Okay! We've got a...

Hold on.

Um, hello?

Lily? Hi.

We'll go up to 886.

Yes.

886. I will let them know.

Yeah.

Okay. Thanks.

Thank you very much.

Okay! Here's

where we stand.

Matching Sweaters

has offered 886.

See? You were right.

They're bid surfing.

They're trying to ride the

crest of the big numbers.

But the first call I got

was from the dog ladies.

What'd they say?

They wanna know what number you

need in order to stop the bidding.

Well...

No, no, no.

Tell them to make

their best offer,

and we'll give it to

whichever is highest.

That's the way it works.

Sounds good.

Lily Portman and Associates,

please hold.

I'm gonna keep you posted.

If you go out,

you take your

cell phones with you.

Lily Portman.

How can I help?

Yes.

I'm going to miss all

of this. Look at it.

Then why are we moving?

I don't...

Okay. Wait.

Hello?

Yes, this is Dr. Kramer.

Dorothy's come around.

She's conscious and she's taking water.

Yeah. That's wonderful.

But we haven't seen any

movement in her legs yet.

That doesn't sound good.

Does it?

Look...

When can we come and see her?

Maybe tomorrow?

It might be good for her.

Why don't you come by tomorrow morning?

Well, that would be wonderful.

Thank you very much, Doctor.

Well?

Well.

She's putting up a fight.

Yeah. What would you expect

from our little girl, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

She must be frightened though.

Yeah. She doesn't

know where she is.

She doesn't know

where she's going.

Like us.

Like us.

May said they're gonna bring Jackson.

He's back from Hawaii.

Look at that.

God help us.

He's a nice boy.

He's not a boy.

He's a 49-year-old man

living with his parents.

Off his parents.

All right, all right. I know.

He's struggling, okay?

We're all struggling.

Honey, it might be a good time for you

to talk to Larry about your paintings.

My clutter, you mean.

No. That's not what

I'm talking about.

I mean, when we move, we're going

to have to do something about it.

Nobody wants that stuff.

What?

Nobody wants...

No, you don't know that.

I'm going to throw

it away, I think.

They're your life's work.

My God.

You never change, do you?

Larry said that

he landed at 7:
00.

So as long as the

traffic's not too bad,

then he will be there to meet

you before he has dinner.

And, this guy, I mean.

He's very influential.

His reviews are...

They're all over the place.

Where are you going?

Home.

What? Get back here!

You're the artist. Everyone

is expecting you there.

No one gives

a sh*t about my work.

I do.

'Cause you have to.

No. I don't.

Believe me.

We're gonna get there,

the place will be empty.

My work is tedious.

It's derivative.

That was one critic.

My God.

You're such a baby.

I mean, is this what you're gonna

be like every time you have a show?

No, because I won't

have another show.

No one cares about my work.

Larry cares.

Only because he's my friend.

No. He is showing up because he

thinks he can make money selling it.

So you should stop whining,

and just thank God that you

have a friend like Larry.

Should thank May.

She's the one who bought him the gallery.

Yeah?

Maybe you should have married

a rich girl yourself.

Maybe I should have.

What did I do instead?

I fell in love with

some girl from Brooklyn.

Jeez. You were right.

Empty.

Alex Carver, everybody!

Hi, Larry!

Thank you, Larry.

Hi.

So, anyway, tell us,

how's work going?

He's ghost writing

a book for someone.

Really?

Yeah. It's

a self-help book.

How do you ghost write

a self-help book?

That's what I said!

It pays.

And that's all I care about.

Okay.

Right?

How did Dorothy's surgery go?

Okay.

Well, she's still not moving her legs.

I don't know what to say.

Don't say that!

For crying out loud.

Mother!

For crying out loud what?

Mother...

You weren't this upset when

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