6.4 Event Memories

6.4 Event Memories

Junzhuo Gu

Twenty years had passed, and it was rare for me to think of it. But when I thought of it, my heart was sad.

I remembered that the student movement in 1989 began in April and was initiated by students spontaneously mourning Hu Yaobang at Tian’an Men Square, and then developed into a political movement demanding the punishment of corruption and democratic reform. Zhao Ziyang, then general secretary, made a speech on May 4 in which he understood the students' actions and demanded students to end the march. Most students believed that the goal had been achieved, agreed with Zhao Ziyang's speech, the student movement at one point showed signs of calming. But soon after there was a hunger strike, things got worse. Here was my recollection of what happened one, two years after the incident. My thoughts at that time were somewhat indignant, and everything seemed to be visible before my eyes , a sense of remembrance. In order to maintain the original memory of the incident, I made little change.

On April 27, 1989, students from universities in Beijing staged a large march. It was unusual. I was very excited to see the parade come to an end, and I felt a great joy of success. People began to march under great pressure because the government had previously characterized the student movement as a counter-revolutionary riot, and students even marched with fear.

That day when the march went to near the place called six-step entrance, the cadets formed a wall of men. I was in front of the crowd, walking sporadically with the average person, not the parade, but the crowd stopped in front of the wall of students at the academy and squeezed around. I said to a military cadet in front of me, "can you block it?"There were one million people in the procession. "

“There is no way, we have discipline." In the process of squeezing around, I always put my two hands in front of the chest into a fist. He took my hand and said, "which school are you from?" I answered, "the Graduate School of Chinese Academy of Sciences." He seemed to tell me that we were friends and I could feel the warmth of his hands. In the middle and late stages of the campaign, I saw a military academy student take part in the parade. They stood upright on an open military vehicle and saluted the people. I was very moved.

There was a student with a microphone in one hand and the Constitution of the People’s Republic of China in the other, reading aloud some of it, surrounded by a large crowd. "all armed forces of the people's Republic of China belong to the people." The people around him applauded.

"Citizens of the people's Republic of China have freedom of publication, association and expression."

That day I and a young man in Beijing followed the procession for a long time. He worked in a factory in Beijing.

"Beijing has not had such a large-scale march in a long time, and when Premier Zhou died in 76, it was larger than this." He showed deep nostalgia for the past. 1976’s movement must be unforgettable for him. He added, "If there were no accidents today, it would be a great victory." I was also very worried about this, and then I stopped in the square for a short time. I asked the students what they planned and reminded them to be careful. One student said that they would go back soon." Since memory of Hu Yaobang's death, there had been several incidents in which the armed police had beaten students, so it was necessary to be careful.

Some Peking University students often felt overbearing. They seemed to think they were great. A few days before 6.4, I had a quarrel with two Peking University students. I talked to them about the hunger strike, and I hoped that the number of people on hunger strike would be greatly reduced. They accused me of being irresponsible and impostor. I repeated that I was merely expressing my opinion. One of them even threatened me to be treated rudely. I pointed at him and scolded, "you little bastard," and someone was even recording the scene. Two men came to me. It was said that we all shared the same goals, so there was no need for any contradiction.

There was a big truck near Fuxingmen in Beijing. I thought the convenor was blocking the military vehicle, so I rushed to jump into the car, but the car was going to the school to pick up the students, because it was said that the government was sending someone to attack the square that day. So they had to pick up people at the school and block up their vehicles to try to stop the plaza from being attacked. I asked to stop, but two students refused. So I had to jump down when the car slowed down around the corner. These pretentious students really make me feel angry. I jumped out of the car and almost fell on my back, but I was unhurt. Two Beijing citizens rushed to help me and asked if I was hurt. I stopped a little, got up and said nothing was wrong. I walked to the Fuxingmen overpass, where there were so many people. I lay tired on the lawn. I didn't go back to my dorm room for two or three days. I was at the graduate school of the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing at that time. I was 27 years old, much bigger than the average college student.

I talked to the people around me, and some of them immediately gathered, and I talked to them about the situation, and I calmly analyzed our situation to them. At that time, martial law had been declared. I said that workers should quickly organize themselves to play a role as soon as possible. I say students have their limitations, and their minds are not as mature as citizens. I mentioned that many of the members of the Peking University Autonomous Council were very young. The idea of "Federation of Institution" formed by universities was also very inconsistent. If they made a wrong decision, they would mess things up. I said I didn't want to join the student organization, but if the workers could organize, I'd be willing to work with them. People were together. I spoke of the inevitability of bloodshed, and they listened quietly, more people gathered. The workers talked about their difficulties. They worked during the day, couldn't sleep at night, and guarded the streets. They said that now that they were not organized, the workers of the Capital Iron and Steel Company could not be mobilized, and that the "workers' autonomous federation" did not represent the majority of workers and had no charisma.

One of the workers I was talking about was once in the army, and sometimes he nodded in agreement with my point of view. His hair was long, stylish and he combed backwards. He was not surprised when I said that bleeding was inevitable, and his eyes were fixed in front of him. I clearly felt that he had faced death. I said that bleeding was worthy. I had the idea that if army shot students and residents, it would cause chaos across the country, and that the government would fall in such a situation. That would be good for the country. It was childish to think of it now. The workers earnestly talked to me about the student hunger strike and asked me if any of the students had died from the hunger strike. They were very concerned about the health of these students. Beijing residents were completely moved by the students' hunger strike, they saw the students' determination. The spirit of self-sacrifice of the students could not but be moved. I talked to them about the mental state of students in hunger strike, and even though I didn't hunger strike, I realized how they felt, and I thought some hunger strikers, after a certain period of hunger strike, were in a trance, in an involuntary state. By this time they were no longer in control of their own destiny. "these students are very real," I told them. I bought them popsicles, and they didn't eat them. These hunger-strikers were very pitiful. People around me listened quietly, everyone felt bitter.

On the morning of June 1th, the air was fragrant, and the light shrouded the square. At this time, the broadcaster of the Autonomous Federation of Institutions of Higher Learning was congratulating the children on a happy holiday. “ Kits friends, I first of all on behalf of the big brother and sisters on the square, sincerely wish you a happy holiday! When the big brothers, sisters hungry (there are a lot of people on hunger strike) at Tian’an Men Square another night, they do not forget you. Unfortunately, they do not have any gifts for you, some are just sincere blessing! When the morning sun brought a golden glow to the square, a new day came. Kids, we didn't forget Remember your holidays.

You are the future of our nation, and you may not yet understand why your big brothers and sisters don't study hard at school and go on hunger strike here, but you will understand in the future. You may be able to live in a beautiful society, a happy and sunny society, which is what these older brothers and sisters are trying to do now, but the future society may not be so ideal, maybe it will be as poor and backward as it is. At that time, I believe that some of you will take to the streets as we do, and perhaps be as patient as we are suffer from hunger and cold. "

On the afternoon of June 3, the Great Hall of the People west gate was full of soldiers wearing helmets and armed belts. Many people stopped them, fearing that they would rush to the square. The time I got there, there had been clashes and someone was injured. When a student was hit with blood on his face, the crowd stormed and rushed in. People were very impulsive at that time. For some reason, a man was beaten by a group of men, and I thought it was a spy. One man even raised an iron bar that started the car a few times to smash it down. I grabbed it and told him to be careful not to hurt anyone.

The atmosphere was getting more and more tense, and it was getting dark. At some point, the Great Hall of the People speakers issued a stern warning: "Please don't go to the street or Tian’an Men Square. Staff and workers should stick to their posts and citizens stay at home to ensure your safety and avoid unnecessary losses. " A kind of terror came upon me. There was a feeling that the government was going to do something big today, and people were a little nervous, but they didn't leave the square. In the evening, I tried to find the tent of our school several times, but I couldn't find it. I sat on the iron bed in the camp of Renmin University and had a talk with a teacher of the Renmin University . Although he had a high education in such a famous institution of higher learning, he was simple and dull. He had gone on a hunger strike until he fainted, and he still looked pale. We all knew that something will happen at night. I said, "The PLA is nothing. The armed police are very savage and should be prepared." Of course, it turned out that I was completely wrong. The PLA fired ruthlessly. They used tanks and armored vehicles. They slaughtered Beijing citizens and college students. This will always be a disgrace to the PLA and a disgrace to the Chinese people.

He said, "there's no point in getting ready. We're coming today. We know that our life is in danger here, but if we die, it won’t mean nothing. It's good for our cause. " I was not surprised when he said it was very calm. I said I didn't like to have no resistance when someone hit me.

I often thought of him later, his pale face, his eyes had heralded a disaster. I saw me from him, too.

This was inevitably a tragedy. Because many of the dead were the most enterprising. They had a heart of enthusiasm for our country to truly move towards democracy, prosperity and strength, and most of them were so young. Later, he went to the meeting.

It was getting dark again and the atmosphere was more tense. I later went to the west gate of the Great Hall of the People and stayed there for a long time. People were in a bad mood, the West Gate doorman's room had been smashed, I dissuaded those people not to do it, they were so angry with me that they even hit me. They said, "what is this?" Don't you see the students and the citizens being beaten up? "

I came back to the square, where the warning in the loudspeaker was clear, but it was comforting to see a lot of people walking in the crowd, both lovers, old people, and even pregnant women. It was like a scene of peace. I talked to a young Beijing man who seemed to be at most 20 years old. I asked him why he came to the square. he said this was the people's Square. When it was hot, Beijingers often went to the square to cool off and went back late. “Why can't I come? They won't let us come here, can we obey them ? " I sincerely expressed to him my respect for the Beijingers. He asked me what I did. I said I was a students. He said with disbelief, "You're definitely not a student." For some time the square was full of plainclothes policemen. He did not believe me, and he had his reasons. He was tall and thin as a developing lad, but he looked healthy and determined.

Some time later, an active soldier announced a shocking news with a cry. "I'm a civilian on active military duty, and I just saw soldiers stabbing five students, one of them is a girl, with bayonets at the ...... (I didn’t hear the spot) The government finally to tears off its shameful mask and waves its butcher's knife to students and Beijing residents. " Many people had some mental preparation, but for the first time such a terrible incident happened, we still felt unacceptable, shocked, but not retreated. At such times, what should be done to be more reasonable? Damn it, I never thought about this question. They killed my brother and sister who had a common ideal with me.

A lot of people and I were still trying to stop the PLA from entering the square. I then went to the West Gate of the Great Hall of the People, and soon there was a rumble. An armored car quickly reached the West Gate of the Great Hall of the People, and many young men threw stones at the car. One of the student death squad ran westward along Chang'an Street, and I followed them . Then I stopped looking for something to defend myself and found nothing. I didn't even know when I threw away some bricks in my hand. By this time the gunfire was close, and many buses were lit across the road, burning and smouldering. Then instinct told us that the fearless body was unable to block the steps of the murderers with blood-stained knives in their hands. The gunfire was so close that people still didn't want to leave Chang'an Street. Though there was a fire, I could not see clearly from a distance. When the crowd in front of me was in a hurry to hide in the alley, the alley near me was already full of people, and I had no time to retreat into the alley. Lying on the ground behind a pile of bicycles at the edge of the alley, the soldiers immediately arrived. They were only two or three meters away from me. Before I lay down, someone threw a bottle at the soldier. Close behind me was a young woman crying and saying, "Don't shoot. Don't hit me, ooh, "she cried with grief and fear. I'm worried that the soldiers will beat her with an iron stick. There was a middle-aged man's voice: "Don't shoot, we are ordinary people." He said it several times. Soldiers advance along the sidewalk, with tanks and armored vehicles in the middle of the road, and some with iron bars in their hands. Just behind me the crowd was in a mess, the woman crying, the man screaming, one soldier calling another soldier, "give him a shot," another soldier leaned against the corner and shoot in the alley, the people in the alley seemed to have stopped making noise. These soldiers are also greeting each other, similar to the small Ma, Zhang. They stopped in front of me for several minutes. I was too close to them and very easy to be found. These wild animals. The wall in which the soldier opened fire extended a wall parallel to the road, and there were two men behind it, and after the soldiers left we immediately moved into the alley, and in a hurry my foot was cut in a broken glass bottle. There was a pool of blood at the entrance of the alley, a pool of blood left behind by soldiers shooting people. The bullet hit a bamboo pole in the alley. It was the shot I saw. I didn't know who had been hit. When the gun was fired, I could see clearly the blue ring of fire around the muzzle.

The soldiers went on and on, and I wanted to see how the army had passed, but after a few more men had been knocked down at the entrance of the lane, I gave up the thought of seeing it again, and I sat on the cold concrete floor inside, with my hands on my shoulders. At this time the brain seemed completely numb and numb to those who had been knocked down by bullets. People were busy carrying the wounded, but a rickshaw was locked and could not be opened. I saw how nervous people were, and if they didn't get injured persons to the hospital quickly, the injured were in danger. I would help. A man next to me said that a man had been knocked down by the soldiers , and he wanted to carry him away, but The soldier shoot at the man who had been knocked down to keep him away from the wounded man, and the man said to the soldier, "the man has been wounded by you. Why don't you allow him to be carried away?" The soldier stopped firing.

After some time, the day was already dim, the noise and international singing came from the street suddenly. I was very moved. I felt that our students and citizens were not giving in. We faced death for the sake of a better future.

I was in the street, and not far ahead was the last military vehicle of the operation, and a lot of people poured in the street, some still argued with the soldiers, many people shouted fascist, executioner, and waved their fists, then the international singing was also getting louder and louder, I also song in tears with everyone. They also signaled victory, the belief that victory would be won. There were also frequent gunshots, and some people were knocked down near the chariot and others questioned the soldiers who had fired. A young man climbed to the front of the cab of the liberation military vehicle, pressed his chest, patted his hand on his chest and let the soldier shoot, but then someone pulled him down, and he refused. The soldiers behind are so scared that they don't dare to shoot anyone easily now. At close range, angry men would rush into military vehicles to attack them, and soldiers held the microphone in horror and shouted, "We won't shot the people." These shameless hooligans, whose words no longer meant anything else, would called hell heaven and slaughter benevolence.

I've been hiding behind the roadside trees, but still scared, surrounded by a lot of people. The soldiers in one jeep fired at the people around them, then speeded up, others shouted to stop him, someone chased the car, and the soldiers on the other didn't interfere. The PLA solddiers sometimes fired a few shots out of fear. At this point, people were so angry that many put their lives aside and showed no mercy to the left-out PLA soldiers.

I didn't follow the army all the time. Sometimes I saw a few people running, and then a large group of people ran away. I was really worried that the army would go after me in the alley. I went west on the south side of Chang'an Street and saw a small shop. I had almost run out of money, only a little. Then one of the people who came into the shop wanted to buy it first, and the kind shopkeeper said that we should eat first. Then I noticed how different we were from normal people.We had been out for at least one night. My hands were black, and the front chest of my sweatshirt had a bicycle wheel, covered with dirt. Only then did I feel the pain in my feet. I washed my hands quickly and the shopkeeper gave me a bowl of rare food for free dinner. When I came out, I came to a wider road from north to south. At the roadside, a man said that about 20 people had been knocked down at the junction last night. At this time, with the sound of the tanks came, we hurried to hide deep, green tanks appeared in the dark streets, passed us. This was the battlefield of life and death. Some brave young men did not run away and threw stones at tanks. They were brave, but it certainly didn't help. The tank team did not fire at the crowd. As I took refuge on the side of the south-north road, a man spoke about what he had seen in the morning. This was a man in his forties, seeing that he was a gentle man, said sadly, "that's too bad, too bad. Just now, when I was near the six-step gate, a group of students came out from Tian’an men Spuare. As soon as they walked out of Tian’an Men to Chang'an Avenue, they played the flag out and sang the international song. As they headed west, From the square, an armored vehicle came up from behind and rushed to the students' procession. The students hurried to the side and some of the students were overwhelmed. Some of them fell on bicycles by the side of the road and were crushed by the armored vehicles. After that, some people did not die. Some people wanted to go up and take the dead, but the armored car went back. The head was pressed once. Many of the dead were students of Tsinghua University. Some picked up the bloody corpse and put it in a plastic bag. Many people cried when they saw the sight. It's too bad. "

Those of us who were not in the square worried about the safety of Tian’an Men Square throughout the incident. I sometimes paid attention to whether there is any voice in Tian’an Men Square? It'seemed as if there were intense gunshots, but also hallucinations. I had just eaten in the alley and met a few people who had just come out of the square, like homeless people. I asked, "how about Tian’an Men?" "All that should come out is out, and those who cannot get out will not come out." His tone was calm and apathetic. "Women, old people and children die more." A sweater draped over his back with two sleeves was tied in front. I asked him why? I forgot what he said. Maybe it was a woman, an old man, and a child running slowly. I'm surprised at his mental state. His feelings must be complicated. A citizen asked him where he was going, as if they were going back to school. We all felt that the school was not safe. He said something as cold as if it had come from a corpse. His mental state reminded me that when I came back to school, others might have seen me the same way.

Tired and exhausted, and unable to afford to buy food, I walked westward along Chang'an Street to Yuquan Road for returning to the Graduate School of the Chinese Academy of Sciences. When I arrived at Muxidi, there were many people on the west side of the bridge looking west. Many of the armored vehicles burned in that direction could be seen billowing with smoke. I stopped there for a long time. I could see a lot of blood near on the sidewalk. I was so sleepy that I sat on the ground with my hands clasped, hoping to get some sleep. On several occasions the westerners fled in a panic, but nothing happened. A helicopter hovered overhead, shouting with a loud horn: "the army must not be blocked. At the command of the head of the Central military Commission, if it was blocked that it must fight back resolutely. " But it was clear that the troops ahead had not fully complied with the orders.

I then made a detour to Sun Moon Lake Park and went back to school. Sun Moon Lake Park is very beautiful, very quiet. I went to Chang'an Street again and met my classmates who were surprised at my appearance and said that I was on the list of missing people. It was evening, and it was raining from time to time. Along the way, I could see the subway station glass broken by bullets. A classmate said there was a body pressed into meat sauce as he came out.

I went back to the bedroom, a room of people who seemed to be extremely concerned about me and asked how I was? I said nothing happened. I didn't know they had come to my dorm because that they were concerned about whether I was still alive or not. My brain was numb and I changed my soaked clothes.

It had been so long since the tragedy, but there had been little positive change in politics in our country, there had been no social reflection on the 6.4 incident, and people were simply silent on the tragedy. For a similar tragedy to never happened again, for to comfort the souls of those who died in this tragedy, I wished to make my memories public.

May the souls of the victims of the 6.4 incident rested in peace!

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