6 Balloons Page #2

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- Sorry.

- Yeah. Meow!

I just can't get this. I need more slack.

Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!

Meow!

How do stupid people do this? I'm just...

Meow! Meow!

- Hi. Yeah.

- OK. Are you in?

Can you say "Aunt Katie is incompetent"?

- Can... Can you say "incompetent"?

- Incompetent.

Yeah, that's my girl.

- That's not good.

- Incompetent.

- Exactly.

- No, that's not a good thing to teach her.

Incompetent.

How old is Jack?

He's thirty...

- Thirty-six.

- ...six.

He is a grown man.

Yeah, you're throwing a 36-year-old

grown man a surprise party. That's...

It's supposed to be funny.

- Yeah.

- And it's going to be. It's... Yeah, it's going to be hilarious.

Great idea, and it's going to be executed.

What's uh... What's this?

Oh, Jack needs paper towels.

Man, Jack is such a... B-minus.

He's a B-minus?

Then you're definitely a D.

I would rather be a D

than a f***ing B-minus.

OK, I'm going to just ignore you now.

Dinner to go. Your order's ready.

- Does that look like everything?

- Oh, that's perfect. Great.

Do you need help?

No, I've... I've got this.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hm.

All right.

Come here. Come here.

Why don't you hold on to me?

Hold on to me. We're going to go.

Yeah, that's perfect.

OK, here we go.

You've got my butt?

You've got my butt?

Kitty cat.

Meow! Meow!

Um...

Mom sent Ella a truck, and I guess

you didn't call her to thank her for it.

- OK.

- Well, it's because you didn't get it.

You didn't open it.

OK.

Well, you stopped opening

your mail last time, too.

What? What?

Can you just... roll up your sleeve?

Just show me your arm.

- No.

- Just show me your arm.

Can we not do this?

- Seth, just show me.

- There's nothing to see.

Then we'll just go to my house,

go to the party.

- This f***ing hurts my feelings.

- Just show me and we go to my house.

Can you trust me?

How did this happen again?

It's hard. It's OK.

It's OK.

I've got to take you to detox.

Yeah, I know.

The wheels on the bus

Go round and round

Round and round

Round and round

The wheels on the bus

Go round, round and round

All through town...

Can you put your seat belt on, please?

The wheels on the bus

Go round and round

Round and round...

Babies on the bus go

Wah-wah-wah, wah-wah-wah

Wah-wah-wah

Babies on a bus cry wah-wah-wah

All through the town...

Which one are we going to?

The shitty one.

In 1.5 miles,

turn left onto Beverly Boulevard.

Kitty cat.

Kitty cat.

Meow!

I think we should

drop her off at my house first.

- What? No. No, please.

- I think we should take her to my house.

I can't see Mom like this. Please.

The driver on the bus

Says move on back

Move on back, move on back...

Look, I can't...

I can't take ten days off of work.

- What?

- I just... I can't.

I mean, why?

Why?

Because people don't do that, all right?

I'll get fired.

I'll do... I'll do a four-day detox.

That's it, though.

Just tell them Dad's sick or something.

No one will question that.

Yes, of course they will.

Katie, it's not that easy.

Just listen to me, please.

Dad got me the job, all right?

They will call him, then he will know,

so we're not doing that, OK?

Jesus, you never listen.

Oh, my God.

"I need to drink some juice."

"Yum."

"Yummy.

Yummy."

"Yum."

Babies on a bus cry wah-wah-wah

Wah-wah-wah, wah-wah-wah...

If I'm gone ten days, Maggie will know

and she won't let me see Ella.

Everyone's going to know.

I just wish you had told me.

Next time.

- That was a joke.

- No, it was... That was hilarious.

- Yeah, you liked that?

- I was, like, on the floor.

- You don't seem like you're on the floor.

- I mean, if I wasn't driving...

Yeah?

...I would be just, like, done.

- That's very sweet of you to say.

- Yeah, it brought down the house.

You should develop that into,

like, a longer act.

With your encouragement, I might.

This actually is a pretty long act.

You've got at least...

what is it, a couple of years' worth

of material here, right?

You're making me feel so warm right now.

Yeah, that's my job.

Hey, girlie.

- Come here. Let me unbuckle you.

- Kitty cat.

All right, let's go.

Have you got your bunny?

All right, out.

Out, out, out. OK. Shut the door.

OK.

Just be careful

before the car comes.

OK, yeah.

Before the car comes, huh?

Just be careful.

Still looks like a crack house.

Well, you'll fit right in, right?

Funny.

Wait, wait, wait. She needs shoes.

She's fine.

Just... Just give me the keys.

It will take two seconds.

I'll hold her.

Come on. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm just going to the car.

- I'll hold her. You don't need to go.

- Katie, it's... OK. All right, calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down.

That's the worst thing you could say.

Don't make a thing of this, please.

I just think it's insane

that you picked this moment,

of all moments, to be a parent.

And it's actually...

It's actually insane.

I don't understand why you get so pissed

about the dumbest sh*t.

- What did you just say to me?

- Nothing.

- Hello.

- Hi.

Hi. Um... Your insurance card?

Can I help you?

Yeah. Um... Can we come inside?

I need some information first.

- Who's the patient?

- Me.

- Have you been here before?

- Um... You bet he has.

And what are you detoxing from?

- I knew I should have dropped her off.

- It's fine. Just give her to me.

- OK.

- Come here, baby. Come here.

OK. Um...

- Well...

- We'll be... We'll be right here.

OK.

- Ma'am?

- Yeah.

Um... He's on heroin.

- What kind of insurance does he have?

- Um... Anthem.

Unfortunately, we don't take Anthem.

But he's been here before.

Does he have a new job

since the last time?

Yeah.

Then we probably took

his last job's insurance.

OK, but you can still admit him, right?

We have an outpatient program.

No, he needs to be in

for ten days for it to work.

OK.

Not that it's never worked, but um...

I can admit him if you want to pay cash.

- How much is it?

- It's $5,000 for the ten-day program.

OK, just give me a minute.

Credit card.

They don't take your insurance.

But my credit's f***ed. You know that.

Seth, tell me

what to do right now.

Can you pay for it?

You still owe me five grand

from last time.

How long have you waited

to play that card?

- That's what I'm doing.

- I bet you think about that all the time.

- Every once in a while...

- All you f***ing people, man.

- Who?

- Who? You, Mom, Dad. It's like...

- Yeah, that's so lovely.

- There are always strings attached.

- Strings attached?!

- Gross.

The string attached

is that you stay f***ing clean,

not that you achieve greatness.

OK, OK.

The bar is so low that there's not a bar.

It's just, like, the ground, so...

Why don't you ask Jack?

You want me to ask my boyfriend

to pay for your detox?

I don't know.

Who are you?

I'm a piece of sh*t.

Ma'am? Yeah.

Oh, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey! Stop, stop, stop!

We need to go get the cat.

No, no, no!

Told you she needed f***ing shoes.

- Ma'am?

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