A Bad Moms Christmas

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1

My name is Amy Mitchell,

and this year I've ruined Christmas.

Christmas is the absolute absolute of the year

most stressed time.

One million things have to be achieved.

And everything must be done perfectly,

otherwise you do not forgive yourself -

- and it does not even make children.

I feel

as the world's worst mother.

Let me start over again

I've always loved Christmas.

The best time of year.

Mostly I love

to be with the family.

For all I want ...

what any mother wants is -

- The kids are having a wonderful Christmas.

But Christmas is also

Crazy hard work.

You must buy gifts for everyone

you've ever met.

I gave the coffee maker a scented candle.

Why did I do that?

You have to decorate the house,

Which I'm Miserable.

I do what I can, Charmaine!

You must join

in the children's Christmas concerts, which are ...

Yes ... And then there are all the Christmas parties

just too much.

Oh God. Is it hummernissehuer?

Is it the new variety? F***, therefore.

Then you have to cook, clean,

Enter gifts.

It's crazy.

There is never enough time.

SECOND DAY FOR CHRISTMAS

Hi Mom.

- Hi. How did the match go?

Well. Bulls won.

- Congratulations. Hey darling.

The house looks amazing.

- Thanks. There is still a lot of work.

Is there anything I can do?

- Can you fix the Christmas lights?

I can easily do that.

The fuse must only be replaced.

It's sexy.

You will be rewarded tonight.

- Remember it.

Your dad is amazing.

I thought you hated him?

- Why do you say that?

Home with us last week

did you scream him in the bedroom?

No, honey. It was a war of war.

- You did not sound happy.

And you hit the wall

and shouted the f word.

I can not really remember that,

that i did

But you did.

You screamed:
"Too bad!"

"God damn!"

- Okay.

Your father and I

just played a fun grown-up.

You played it seven times.

- Six and a half.

But let's not talk more about it.

Okay? Fantastic.

Oh no ...

- What is it?

My mother is coming to Christmas.

God damn.

Thank you for helping to decorate the tree.

Let's just hang them on the tree.

Who has hung it brown?

front of the tree?

It looks like a pub.

That's why the mother moves it from behind.

Do not drink the water.

We are human beings.

Is Santa, Mother?

- At least he does.

Are you lying?

- Make it stop.

What else have you lied about?

Hey darling.

- Hi Dad.

Nice tree.

Should I give the twins food?

Thank you.

Merry Christmas, Kiki!

- Mother?

Oh boy.

Would not you come on friday?

- I took a previous flight.

Three days earlier?

The guest room is not ready.

"I'm just asleep with you.

Normally I sleep with my husband.

- Do you want to see my blouse?

I love that picture.

You just had your little breasts.

One at least.

Let's drop my breasts.

- And then came the second. Thank God.

Keeks! If you're a little smart,

Can you have a blouse like Christmas?

Oh no ...

Kiki Dee, I can not wait -

- spend all my waking hours

with you for the next three weeks.

Do you smell my hair?

- Yes.

If I'm going to grow

a p*ssy more today, I'm going to black.

Why should all American women

Have hairless kisses for Christmas?

Others to be waxed?

Goddamn. 50 pillows more.

Whose turn is it?

No, you can not

look right now, your yeti.

Let's see.

You there ... Betty White.

Now I'm curious. Come with me.

What's up, that lady?

Mother?! What did you hollow hell?

Holy sh*t.

You have not said you came to Christmas.

Is it Christmas?

- Is not that why you are here?

Yes, that's obviously why. Merry Christmas.

You do not see one day older.

You are so sexy. Just look at them.

Thanks. You look a bit older,

but you look good.

Is it three years since last?

Is it?

I do not fully control the year.

Why do you wear pajamas?

I work in a spa.

Do you have a job?

- Yes.

I try to be more responsible.

- You have always been so weird.

What do you really want?

- What do you mean?

You come only,

when you need money.

I stopped playing.

I just wanted to see my daughter for Easter.

Christmas.

So let's celebrate it.

Thunder Down Under player

at the airport. Shall we not see them?

Male strippers?

With my mother?

For Christmas?

I can not say that no!

Let's take some dillers.

Jaxon flips when he sees you.

- Do you still have that kid?

How old is he now?

- 15-17 years.

Dear.

FIVE DAYS FOR YEAR

Have your parents

never been here for christmas

No. Is there enough food?

- Are you serious?

I'm just doing a quiche.

- It'll be fine, honey.

No, my mother is

the most critical person in the world.

When I was six,

I made a birthday card.

It came back with comments.

- Sick.

She is perfect and impossible to satisfy.

Why are you trying so hard?

That's what daughters spend their lives on.

Mothers are using theirs to skide on us.

That's just how it is.

But I'm not bye, Beyonc.

It's you for me. I love you.

- You too.

Do you think she likes me?

- No.

Sorry for the delay.

Hank runs like a fool.

Merry Christmas, Grandmother and Grandpa!

- Merry Christmas, Dad.

Here are some Xboxs.

- We can not get that for mom. Thanks.

Good day mrs Redmond. Jessie.

Nice to meet you.

Wear the bags on top.

Gracias.

Hi Mom.

- Amy. You look pale.

It's a new face cream.

- Well, you're not dying.

Where is the tree?

- I have not had time.

It's December 19th. Even the Jews

have one now. We'll buy one tomorrow.

Do you have any food?

I have not eaten for three days.

I have made all your favorite food.

- Wonderful. You sent the children to the kitchen.

Think,

that you can also get discount jewelery.

The plan is that we see the Nutcracker

Thursday and singing Christmas songs on Friday.

You are getting divorced from the baritone,

so we have to find a replacement -

- if we are to win

song contest this year.

When I lived here,

we won it nine times.

A shame, you dropped that tradition.

"I've just been busy.

Not to go to the fitness center.

To celebrate that I'm in Chicago again,

I would like to have a big Christmas party here.

What do you say at Christmas Eve?

- No, it's not possible.

We can invite my old friends,

eat sushi -

- and get Kenny G to stand for the music.

He is no longer so expensive.

It sounds like a big job.

- I have already invited everyone.

In?

- Yes. We will be 184.

What?!

- Why have you not sent Christmas cards?

I did not get it right.

- What is happening to you?

Nothing.

- It's Christmas. That's all that big.

I know.

- You can not soothe it.

I'm not so, mother.

- Yes, I can see that.

I am not.

- You smolder, smolder, smolder.

I'm not smearing.

- Not that ugly language.

Your hair is nice.

- Do you think?

You look like you do not

do your best. I love you.

FOUR DAYS FOR YEAR

I can not have Christmas with my mother.

It's like living with Saddam Hussein.

My mother only comes,

because she wants to steal my TV.

My mother and I have to buy Christmas tree tonight.

A seven-hour long march in town.

My daughter wants her

a happy princess doll.

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