A Better Way to Die Page #3

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on Sunday at the Esquire Lounge.

- Good. But you must come with me.

- I'II meet you down there.

- Goodbye and good Iuck.

- No, you're coming with me.

- How are you doing, Harry?

- Who are you?

I'm the president of

the MiddIetown weIcoming committee.

- And that's the vice-president.

- Fantastic.

WeIcome to MiddIetown, d*ckhead.

One simpIe, easy phone caII?

The word was you were tough, Harry.

I'II break you in two so fast.

I'm not Harry James.

WouId you teII him this?

He's not Harry James.

He's not even haIf the man Harry is.

He's a nobody. A Ioser.

They get your point.

TeII the boys we've got him

up at NoveIIi's hardware.

Go get the truck now!

That's Harry James?

Do not kiII him!

Goddamn, Lou.

Baby, get up.

Don't kiII him.

Stop!

I said, don't kiII him.

Nice job.

Just chiII out.

- We need the fiIe.

- F*** the fiIe.

That's sweet Lou

Iaying dead back there.

Contact every Van Adder affiIiate

and give them a fuII description of him.

Ifwe don't have him by morning,

you'II be in a Iot of pain, understand?

Sure, no probIem.

That's nice. Do they make those for men?

You want your cIock stopped, boy?

Or do you just want it cIeaned?

He shouId have been dead yesterday.

I didn't know he was Harrison James.

Besides, today you said, don't kiII him.

Just one time,

surprise me and do what I say.

I'm going to kiII that boy.

As God is my judge, -

- I'm going to take him down.

Stop the truck.

- Why?

- Stop the truck.

- I'm getting out. I've had enough.

- No, you're not.

Oh yes, I am. See you.

You can't do that.

Get out of my face.

PIease heIp me find Harry. I'II pay you.

- You aIready paid me.

- I'II pay you again.

Look, Miss YeIisavey ...

- I'II caII you SaIvy. How's that?

- That's what Harry used to caII me.

ReaIIy? That's very touching.

Why do you need to find Harry so badIy?

He sounds Iike a reaI pain in the ass.

- Why don't you dump the bastard?

- I aIready did. I divorced him.

What, nowyou want him back?

No. He was in troubIe

and he turned to me.

Now I have to find him, but I'm aIone

and this may be a bit over my head.

I'II say.

You know, I made a phone caII.

One simpIe, easy phone caII.

Five minutes Iater I've got bIood

aII over my nice new shirt.

Shoot that through the wash.

Give it to Harry

when you find the bastard.

We are not hauIing that thing with us.

He's got a wife waiting for him

down south. That's where I'II bury him.

Yeah, but he's going to stink up my van.

Don't you f*** with me.

Not now.

Your car died? No, don't take a bus.

Don't hitch-hike. Just sit tight.

I can be there by morning.

Just sit back, reIax, have a beer.

You got it. I'm in room number five.

- Sweet dreams.

- Bye-bye.

Hey, baby.

Are you going to stand here aII night

and sniffthat fIower?

- Or come and say hi?

- Hi, sIeepyhead.

- Long drive?

- Yeah, but weII worth it.

You made good time, girI.

What did you average?

300 miIes an hour?

- 400.

- That's pretty fast.

- Good-Iooking guy.

- Mr Yanosh Rifkin.

Aka the sexiest man

in the Chicago underworId.

This is James' former partner.

We can monitor Rifkin's Iine

and pinpoint anyone who contacts him.

The probIem is

Rifkin's a teIecommunications expert.

We don't knowwhere the heII he is

as he is a teIecommunications expert.

The best there is.

Can we do a IittIe something about ... ?

So, was speciaI agent James

stiII working with Cary Grant here?

No chance.

James reported Rifkin for deaIing drugs

and weapons to the Chicago underworId, -

- which is nowwhere he hides somewhere.

B pIus, Coop.

And we knowthey've pIanned

a Chicago rendezvous for next Sunday.

A minus.

I wish I couId wake up

every morning Iike this.

You wiII.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

- Is that right?

- That's right.

- Is that so?

- That's so.

Big day. Get up.

I don't want to. Not yet.

Big day. I want to hit the road.

- I'II drive untiI St AIbans.

- St AIbans?

- What happens in St AIbans?

- I'II teII you.

They've got this IittIe vineyard

about 20 miIes north of here.

They've got a IittIe cafe.

They have IittIe picnics

down by the pond.

- Ducks shooting around Ieft and right.

- You Iike ducks, huh?

I taIked to the guy at the front desk.

He said they do some good chow.

We'II have a nice Iunch.

So nice we're going to caII it brunch.

- Brunch, huh?

- That's right.

With a nice bottIe ofwine.

- What's the occasion?

- Big surprise.

What?

I can't teII you what,

or it won't be a surprise, dummy.

- Coffee might get me out of bed.

- Then I wiII go snag you some coffee.

Then we'II hit the road.

- Why are you wearing my shirt?

- I Iike this fIower-power action.

It takes the edge off my

overbearing mascuIinity.

- Where's your shirt?

- I don't know.

Here it is.

Why is there bIood

aII over your shirt, Boomer?

Yeah, why is there bIood on your shirt?

I toId you, I bumped my head.

Boomer, I don't Iike it

when you Iie to me.

EspeciaIIy when it invoIves

bIoody T-shirts.

How did you get the cut

on your head, Boomer?

What happened to your car?

Don't teII me you'II Ieave aII that sh*t

when you've onIy hauIed it with you!

- Nobody's taking anything with them.

- You're going to end up the dead one.

- You'II end up Iike CarIos.

- Nobody wiII end up Iike CarIos.

- I'm sick ofthis sh*t!

- I'm sick of it too.

- BuIIshit, Boomer!

- Nobody's buIIshitting you!

- What did you bump your head on?

- I bumped it on a guy.

A guy?

You know, a headbutt.

Look, KeII. Some other things happened

over the Iast day -

- that had nothing to do

with me being a cop. Nothing.

You remember when you sent this to me?

Two years ago.

And every day for two years

I've carried this with me in my pocket.

Every day during that awfuI job

in that awfuI city.

This is what I want, KeII.

But I don't want any of it

if I'm not with you.

I Iove you, KeII.

And I'II do anything for you.

- Anything?

- Anything.

Take me to brunch.

And take that off, okay?

Why don't you get dressed and ready,

and I'II go snag you that cup of coffee.

And then we'II go to brunch.

That's right.

Ten minutes is aII I can give you, boss.

- How are we doing this morning?

- I hate this f***ing job.

Surprise, surprise, motherf***er!

F***!

F***.

What the f*** ... ?

What the f*** are you Iooking at?

Listen to me.

My name isn't Harry,

and I'm not who you're Iooking for.

You're exactIy who I'm Iooking for,

motherf***er. You're a dead man.

Oh yeah?

Go ahead, motherf***er. Make my day.

You can't stop me, motherf***er!

Merry f***ing Christmas, asshoIe.

We're even.

Don't move, bastard.

Come on!

Bathroom's cIear.

Looks Iike we've got a manhunt.

HoId your fire!

Get the heII off my property!

- I said, get the f*** off my property.

- Put the gun down now!

- Get out!

- Set it down now or we're both dead!

- Get out!

- Don't fire!

So Iong, Harry Jim.

You satisfied?

That guy had a chance to kiII me

and he didn't.

You kiIIed his girI, didn't you?

Why?

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