A Bronx Tale

- All right, you got the note?

- Yeah, right.

Nice and tight.

Two, three, four.

This is the Fordham section

of The Bronx... my home.

A world unto itself.

You can get to any borough

in 15 minutes from here,

but they might as well be

That's Mount Carmel Church.

And the sound of the bells

would fill the neighbourhood.

It was 1960, and doo-wop

was the sound on the streets.

It felt like there was a doo-wop

group on every corner back then.

What a time it was!

The New York Yankees were playing

the Pittsburgh Pirates

in the World Series...

and Mickey Mantle

was like a god to me.

My dad would take me to Yankee Stadium

and we'd watch the Yankees win.

That's the Chez Bippy -

that's where all the guys hung out.

But I'll tell you about them later.

That's my building.

I live right there on the third floor.

There's my stoop.

And on warm summer nights

all through the neighbourhood...

you would hear young Italian men

romancing their women.

Hey, Marie!

- Get in the f***ing car!

- No!

- Get in the car!

- Leave me alone.

- Come on, baby, you know I love you.

- Yeah, bullshit.

Will ya get in the f***ing car!

And right there,

right there under that lamppost there,

stood the man -

the number-one man

in the neighbourhood... Sonny.

Everybody loved Sonny

and treated him like a god.

And in my neighbourhood,

he was a god.

And I would sit on my stoop

and watch him, all day and all night.

But he would never even

look at me.

Never, until one day.

- What do you want?

- You got room in there for us?

You wish!

- Oh, sh*t!

- Let's go!

That's my dad, Lorenzo Anello.

His bus route was 187th Street.

I used to love to ride the bus with him.

That's me, Calogero,

nine years old.

- All right. See you later, Pop.

- OK.

Go right upstairs, son.

That's my mum, Rosina.

She met my dad at a dance.

They fell in love

and they've been together ever since.

You're always listening.

Take care of this f***ing...

Come on. Knock him out!

The Chez Bippy.

This is where all the guys hung out.

Get the f*** out of here!

Take a walk!

Tony Toupee was owner of the bar

in name only.

It was really Sonny's place.

Tony was a frustrated singer

and everybody hated his voice.

So just for spite, he'd never utter

a spoken word - he would only sing it.

They called him Tony Toupee because

he wore the worst hairpiece in the world.

Eddie Mush was a degenerate gambler

and the biggest loser in the world.

They called him "Mush" because

everything he touched turned to mush.

Never mind "Eddie my love",

I need a winner!

At the race track, the teller would

give him his tickets already ripped up.

I had the Yankees. They lost.

If it wasn't for bad luck,

I wouldn't have no luck at all.

JoJo the Whale.

You didn't walk with JoJo,

you walked among him.

If you stared at JoJo long enough,

you'd see him get fatter by the hour.

Legend has it his shadow

once killed a dog.

They called him

Frankie Coffeecake...

because his face looked like

a Drake's Coffeecake.

He was tough to look at.

Hey, kid, how you doin'?

His name was Jimmy Whispers

and he was Sonny's main man.

They called him "Whispers" because

everything was a secret to him.

Danny K. O. Knocked guys out...

and Bobby Bars

spent half his life behind them.

This was Sonny's crew,

and nobody f***ed with these guys.

What are ya doin' here?

Didn't we tell you not to come here?

Didn't I tell ya not to come upstairs!

Wait till I tell your father!

- What were you doing here?

- I was looking for Daddy.

Well that's very nice!

I have to get somethin' in the store.

Don't move!

You wait right here! You hear me?

Every time I saw Sonny, I'd try to imitate

him, but he'd never even look at me.

Sonny had five fingers...

but he only used three.

Come on. Let's go.

Move. Upstairs.

I'm not in the mood for steak.

Oh, you're not?

How many times do I have to drive

that bus back and forth...

so this family can eat steak

once a week?

- Seven.

- Who told you that?

Nobody. I counted.

Calogero, your father wants

to talk to you.

- About what, Dad?

- Mum caught you by the bar today.

- I wasn't.

- Tell your father the truth!

- I was by the bar.

- So why'd you lie?

- I took a shot.

- Wanna do something here?

What am I gonna say?

Nice try, son.

- Thanks, Dad.

- Lorenzo, come on, please!

How can I keep him away?

It's two doors away.

Daddy's right.

You should listen to him.

Shut up.

Nobody's talking to you.

Give me your plate.

I want you to listen to me.

Hey! Do not go near the bar.

Stay on the stoop,

but keep away from the bar.

- When you're older, you'll understand.

- Yes.

- You don't see me going there.

- Mum won't let you go there either?

- What am I going to do?

- I don't know. I got him all day.

I'm just kidding.

I'll won't go near the bar.

Look what I got. Two tickets,

Yankee Stadium, centre field.

- Behind the Mick?

- Right behind number seven.

- Now eat your steak.

- Yeah!

Let's go, Alfie.

That's Phil the Peddler.

He would call everybody "Mary. "

Me and my friends would

love to break his balls.

Slick and Crazy Mario

were my best friends.

Slick got his name

because of his hair.

Mario got his

because he was just crazy.

I'll kick your little f***ing asses,

you bunch of Marys.

Stay away from the fruit!

Keep your hands off the fruit!

You f***ing Marys!

I'll kick you loose, you Marys!

The three of you!

I'll kick your f***ing asses,

you f***ing ball breakers!

Keep your hands off the vegetables!

What do you think this is?

Wait! Go make your mother

and father feed you!

I'll give you the heave-ho,

you f***ing ball breakers!

- How many did you get?

- I got one.

... stop borrowing money!

Oh, boy -

Coffeecake's in trouble again!

Somebody's gonna get their ass kicked.

Guys, check it out.

Mario, who's this?

That's Jimmy Whispers.

You'd better talk to him again.

You're responsible for him.

Whoa! Come on, wait a minute.

It's Sonny.

You do somebody now,

big mouth.

Do somebody hard,

like Coffeecake.

- I can't do Coffeecake!

- That's hard.

Put a screen in front of your

face while I throw sh*t at it.

Oh, sh*t.

These n*ggers got some balls,

coming in our neighbourhood.

They don't live here,

they just pass through from school.

- How the f*** do you know?

- My father told me.

My father told me

that's how it starts.

Get the f*** out of our neighbourhood,

you f***ing n*ggers!

Go back to Australia

where you came from!

You're lucky

you're on that bus!

Ha ha, you missed me!

Stay out of our neighbourhood!

Why?

You don't f***ing stop.

Get the f*** out of here!

Nobody's cooler than you, Sonny.

What the f*** is wrong with you?

What you doin'?

- F*** you, you freehole!

- F*** you, you scumbag!

You're a real motherf***er!

I'll bust your f***ing head!

I'm gonna bust your f***ing head!

Hold on here.

Sonny, give me the gun!

- Get the f***ing car!

- Move the f***ing car!

Come on!

When Sonny looked at me

for the first time, I went deaf.

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