A Canterbury Tale Page #5

the same experience as I had last night.

- Do you know any of them?

- Yes, I have one working in the hopyards.

- Fee Baker.

- I'd like to talk to her.

Well, you'll see her

when you take their dinner down.

That way.

Whoa there. Hold it.

- What's for dinner?

- Scotch eggs and apple dumplings.

Good.

- You're Fee Baker, aren't you?

- And you're Alison Smith.

- Yes.

- Are you working for Pru?

Yes.

- Where are you from?

- London.

Oh, I've got an uncle in London.

He's a policeman.

His father was a policeman too. Very good dancer.

The uncle, not the father.

Are you fond of dancing?

Am I! There aren't many boys around here

who can tell their own feet from their partner's.

Lots of soldiers.

No good dancers among them?

I wouldn't go out with a soldier

for a hundred pounds.

- Why?

- The Glue Man's a soldier. Everybody knows that.

- He wears a soldier's uniform.

- And what makes a civilian a soldier? A uniform.

Besides, there weren't any old

Glue Man here before the soldiers came.

Suppose he isn't a soldier.

What are you driving at?

Suppose he's a civilian.

- Someone in the village.

- In uniform?

Supposing he wore a uniform to make

the girls afraid to go out with soldiers.

That might be any one of a dozen.

- Might be a glue woman.

- Why?

Don't be soft.

- Take Ernie's family.

- Who's Ernie? Another uncle?

No. My Ernie.

He's with the Eighth Army.

Do you think his family like me going out

with strange soldiers? But a girl must live.

I'm sure I'm right.

Well, suppose you are.

Where does it get you?

And why worry?

You weren't the first.

- Do you know the other girls?

- Of course.

There's Dorothy Bird. She's the post-girl.

Susan Cummings, Polly Finn -

Hold on a tick.

If nobody else cares...

I'm going to find out what can be done

about this glue business.

- I can tell you that.

- You can?

Hot water. Plenty of hot water.

- What's the idea, frightening my horse?

- I suppose you weren't scared.

Why don't you keep your beastly carriers

off the Pilgrims' Road?

I know that voice. Hey, Alison.

This is Peter Gibbs.

I thought you didn't get that job.

Who'd you steal this cart from?

I'm working for Mrs. Foster.

And if you don't take your carriers

out of the road at once...

I'll tell her what happened,

and she'll report you to your C.O.

It was the C.O.'s idea.

We didn't know who was in the cart.

I didn't even know it was a girl.

- You're just an objective.

- I don't believe a word. And I'm in a hurry.

Well, we're not. You're our prisoner,

but we'll exchange you for some information.

What have you been up to? Have you got a plan?

What's Bob doing to earn his keep? Archie!

This is Miss Alison Smith I told you about.

- Archie here had an Agnes.

- A Gwladys.

- Go on, Archie. Tell the tale.

- Well, that's all there was to it. Love's young dream.

- Glue.

- What next?

There wasn't any next.

She went home like a scalded cat.

- And that was after dark?

- Conditions were perfect - until the Glue Man came.

- What was the girl's name?

- Gwladys. She spelt it with a "W." Class.

- Gwladys what?

- How should I know? Wasn't a lasting friendship.

- It happened to her.

- What date?

Half a mo. Archie's my witness.

I'll get all the dope. Okay, Archie.

- And talking of dope.

- What's that?

"Colpeper Institute, Chillingbourne.

Admission free.

"Each Saturday at 7:30 p.m.

A lecture illustrated by lantern slides...

"will be given by Thomas Colpeper...

"J.P.

"For members of H.M. Forces only.

After the lecture an open discussion will be held.

Smoking permitted. Attend the whole series

and bring your friends. Admission free."

- They're stuck up all over the camp.

That's the fourth in the series.

- Well?

- Well, how about it? Be useful.

- It says members of H.M. Forces only.

Aren't you in the army? Women's Land Army?

Isn't that H.M. Forces too?

- Yes, it is, but - but the lecture's tonight.

- What's wrong with tonight?

- I've got a job. I'm working here.

- You are? Good.

- And it's my first day.

- Well, what's wrong with it?

- Nothing.

- Well, can you be there?

- Yes. I suppose I can, if I finish in time.

- Well, can you finish in time?

- Yes. If it's important.

- Important? To detective work,

every clue's important.

- What clue?

- Did I say clue?

- You did.

- I meant glue. Don't be late.

"Not heaven itself

upon the past has power...

"but what has been has been...

and I have had my hour. "

Are you from the States?

- Yes.

- I got a brother there.

- That so?

- "Butt" City.

"Butt" City?

"Butt" City, Montana.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Name of Isaac Wells.

Maybe you know him.

- Tall fellow?

- Short and fat.

- Can't place him.

- Pity.

- Good evening.

- Evening.

- Coming to the lecture?

- Yes. In a minute, sir.

I come from

Three Sisters Falls, Oregon.

I come from the Seven Sisters Road,

London. Put it there.

Pleased to meet you. You sure are

a whole mess of sisters ahead of me.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

I'm glad to see such a big house.

The last time I was to speak- It was July the 11th,

I think- there was an audience of one.

He was reading his evening paper. I waited

for a bit. Then I asked him, "Uh, shall I start?"

He said, "Start what?"

I said, "Didn't you come to hear me lecture?"

He said, "No, I'm waiting for the pubs to open."

- We waited till 5:30, then we adjourned

the lecture and both went to the pub.

Uh, would some of you mind

doing the blackout, please?

And I hope there are

going to be plenty of questions.

Will somebody

start the ball rolling now?

Yes, sir. May I ask why

you want to lecture us at all, sir?

Well, you see,

it's a form of human weakness.

It's only human nature when you hear something

interesting to want to pass it on to somebody else.

Well, I know a lot of interesting things

about this part of the country...

and I feel the urge

to pass some of them on to you.

Good evening. You'll find a place

at the back there, I think.

- Good evening, Sergeant Johnson.

Would you like to join your two friends?

- Yes, sir.

- Good evening, Miss Smith.

- Good evening, Mr. Colpeper.

- Say, won't you come back and join us?

Well, uh, I wouldn't like to, uh, presume.

- Sure. Come on. We'd like it.

- Straight?

- Sure.

- Oh, that's very kind of you, I'm sure.

Don't mind if I do.

- Friend of mine.

- Good evening, all.

- Evening.

- Good evening, Sergeant.

- Big news.

- What?

- Tell you later.

- What about your train?

- Brother, you can take my-

- Shh!

I was born here,

and my father was born here.

You're here because there's a war on.

- You'd rather be in your own part of the country.

- You're telling us!

That's why none of you like being here very much.

But suppose there was peace again.

And holidays again.

Well, you'd like to spend your holidays

in a beautiful and interesting part of the country.

And if you were to ask any man

who knew England well, "Where shall I go to?"

10-to-one he'd say, "Go to Kent."

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