A Canterbury Tale Page #7

- Ow!

- Come on! Charge the gap!

Come on! Follow me!

Quick! The river!

Surrender, General. You are outnumbered.

It's useless to fight on.

All right.

Hello, General.

Nice work.

- They've four more than us.

- Sure. Why didn't you pick sides?

'Cause my men must have berets

and I've only got six handkerchiefs.

Well, that's different.

Now the battle's over, would your two armies

lease-lend you two generals for a while?

- What's lease-lend?

- Never ask that question again, son.

If the isolationists were to hear you

back home, they'd be mighty sore.

Who are the isolationists?

- Shortsighted folks.

- Why don't they buy spectacles?

From what I hear,

that's just what they are doing.

- Now, here's two quarters.

- He means two shillings.

One for each army.

The smaller army will get a bigger share,

but that's right too.

Catch.

- Thank you very much.

- Thank you.

Is there some place around here

we could have a powwow?

On the hill.

Yahoo!

Looks like this isn't the first time

this place has seen a battle.

- No.

- No.

Now see here, you've heard

about the Glue Man, haven't you?

Don't be scared.

- I'm not scared.

- Nor am I.

Good, because I'm on his trail.

- The Glue Man?

- Yes.

- You want to catch him?

- That's the idea.

Now, if this was the States every kid

in the village would lend a hand to get him.

- How?

- I'll tell you.

I want you to help me

check some things.

- Are you game?

- Yes.

First, I wanna know how many drugstores

there are in Chillingbourne.

- What stores?

- Drugstores.

Where you buy soap

and razor blades and ice cream.

- You mean the grocer's!

- Call it what you like.

Now, if you wanted

to stick something together...

and needed the stuff to stick it with,

where would you buy it?

- At the grocer's.

- Is there only one?

Only one.

Next, I want to find out who's been

buying sticky stuff at the grocer's.

- Is he a friendly sort of guy?

- Mr. Holmes?

If that's his name.

Is he human?

He's his father!

Holy smoke! Is it that time already?

I've got a date for church.

Show me the shortest way from here,

and on the way we'll map out a plan of campaign.

Excuse me.

Can you tell me anything -

- Ask at the office. They'll tell you.

- Oh, no. It isn't bus information I want.

It's about - about the Glue Man.

What about him?

Who are you?

- You are Polly Finn, aren't you?

- Yes.

What if I am?

Miss Swinton!

Gwladys Swinton!

- Yes?

- Have you got a minute?

- Five, if you want them.

- Can I come up?

No, stay where you are.

I'll come down.

You can't come in the box, you know.

It's against regulations.

- Well, what is it?

- I only want to ask you one or two questions.

Oh, well, fire away.

- Morning.

- Morning.

- Are you Dorothy Bird?

- That's me.

I got your name from Fee Baker.

I'm the new land girl working at Foster's.

Blimey.

August 27.

There.

Fee Baker, Susan Cummings, Dorothy Bird,

Polly Finn, Gwladys Swinton and me.

Each time the thing happened after

half past 11:
00, but never later than midnight.

Did it ever happen

after midnight to anybody?

- As far as I can check, no.

- I've checked that my end.

- They all say it never happened after midnight.

- That's important.

- Why?

- Facts are always important.

What about dates?

Fee Baker, June 8.

Susan Cummings, June 24.

Gwladys Swinton -

Oh, not sure.

And me, August 27.

Of course.

Bertha Rogers on the 11th of August.

Well, wait a minute.

No. False alarm.

Well, I can fill in some dates.

Now, Gwladys Swinton was July 10.

Two other girls, anonymous,

July 2 and August 3.

Well, let's see.

That gives us two on Tuesday,

one on Wednesday...

one on Thursday,

two on Friday...

one on Saturday,

blank on Sunday and Monday.

Well, what do you make of that?

I don't know.

Well, anyway, our dates are still

incomplete. There were 11 cases in all.

So what?

You know, I'm beginning to think

the whole village is cracked.

Just look at that boy.

Ninety degrees in the shade,

and he's wearing a winter overcoat.

Hello, Leslie, Terry.

Come on up.

Ask for me.

They'll never get past old Albert.

I'll fix that.

Kids and almanacs.

This won't get us anywhere.

Have you got a better idea?

Yes. I'm gonna call on Mr. Colpeper this afternoon,

and I want you to come with me.

You can't crash in

without being asked.

He has asked me. Last night.

Anyone really interested, he said.

- Well, I'm interested.

- Yes, that's clever.

Well, will you come?

- I'm not very keen. Take Bob.

- No, he's got a date.

Meet General Terry...

General Leslie.

Also Commander Todd-

he's the delicate one.

- Do you all like lemonade?

- Yes.

- You too, Commander?

- Yes.

You can take this coat off now,

Commander.

You're through the enemy's lines.

Meet the account book

of Mr. Holmes...

the general's father

and Chillingbourne drugstore keeper.

- You mean the grocer.

- Beg pardon.

"'A,' 'B,' 'C.' Thomas.

Flower, soap, sugar, bacon."

A week's rations.

Here, you look at it.

You know the names.

Any sticky stuff?

Do some of the richer people here,

like the rector, Mr. Colpeper...

buy everything in Chillingbourne?

No, they get lots of things

from outside.

- How do you know?

- We collect salvage from the houses.

Salvage!

Good afternoon.

You want my son.

Yes, as a matter of fact.

I was at his lecture last night.

And you want to talk to him about it.

Of course. Come in.

Thanks.

- He'll be here in a moment.

- Thanks.

Good afternoon, Sergeant.

Oh, how do you do, sir?

Sorry to bother you on a Sunday.

Oh, don't mention it. I expect

your weekdays are pretty fully occupied.

- Yes, they are.

- Do sit down.

- What do you drink? Beer, whiskey or cider?

- Nothing for me.

- Oh, do have something.

- Oh, cider, please.

Emma? Cider.

Well, how's the army going?

You seem to be busy from morning till night.

- It's a bit like your job.

- Mine?

You put a great deal in

to get very little out.

Are you a farmer in civil life?

Me? No.

May I ask what part

of the country you come from?

London.

- Not much material there for your lectures.

- More there than anywhere.

What about the British Museum?

Yeah, I suppose it is pretty good.

Yes, very good.

Nearly a day's walk from Chillingbourne.

What, 50 miles?

Some walk.

Not if you like walking.

Do you like walking?

Not if I can help it.

Why walk if there's a train?

- Oh, Mother.

- Go on with your talking. I can manage.

I see, sir,

you're interested in mountaineering.

Yes, I do a bit of it.

I suppose you'd recommend me to wait at

the bottom till somebody builds a funicular railway.

I'd say, why climb to the top at all?

What's wrong with the valley?

- The answer's in yourself.

- You're dead right.

And the trouble with this country is that every

second man thinks he's born to be a missionary...

and every third man

has a bee in his bonnet.

Thank you. Look at you.

You don't mind?

No, of course not.

You're a gentleman farmer

with a fine house.

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