A Cinderella Story

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom,

lived a beautiful little girl...

...and her widowed father.

It's beautiful.

Okay. It wasn't that long ago.

And it wasn't really a faraway kingdom.

It was the San Fernando Valley.

It looked faraway...

...because you barely see it

through the smog.

But to me, growing up,

the Valley was my kingdom.

I was my dad's best friend.

And he was mine.

Being raised by a man put me behind in

the makeup and fashion departments.

But I never felt like I missed out

on anything.

I was the luckiest girl in the world.

My dad owned the coolest diner.

I loved hanging out there.

Diet was a four-letter word here...

...and grease came

at no additional charge.

At Hal's, everyone felt like family.

Oh, yeah, I have drinks.

Happy birthday!

Make a wish, princess.

What did I need a wish for?

I had amazing friends and the coolest dad.

But I guess my dad thought I needed

one more thing:
Fiona.

I am so sorry.

You look beautiful, Fiona.

Hey, Hal!

Along with my new stepmother came

her twin daughters, Brianna and Gabriella.

My out-of-step-sisters.

But as long as my dad was happy, so was I.

We were going to be one big, happy family.

Cheese.

One's enough.

Unfortunately, this was no fairy tale.

"He took her hand, and he kissed it.

Then he swooped her up onto

his horse.

And the beautiful princess and the

handsome prince rode off to his castle...

...where they lived happily ever after. "

Do fairy tales come true, Dad?

Well, no. But dreams come true.

- Do you have a dream?

- Yeah.

My dream is that you'll grow up

and go to college...

...and then maybe someday you'll build

your own castle.

Where do princesses go to college?

They go...

...where the princes go.

They go to Princeton.

But, Sam, you know, fairy tales aren't

just about finding handsome princes.

They're about fulfilling your dreams...

...and about standing up for what

you believe in.

As I always say, never let the

fear of striking out...

- Keep you from playing the game.

- Right.

Just remember, if you look carefully,

this book contains important things...

...that you may need to know

later in life.

- Earthquake.

- My kingdom crumbled...

...during the Northridge earthquake.

Help! Help!

- Don't go.

- I'll be right back.

I lost my best friend that day.

From then on, the only fairy tales

in my life...

...were the ones I read about in books.

Since my father didn't leave a will,

my stepmother got everything.

The house, the diner,

and to her dismay, me.

Sam.

Sammy.

Sam!

It's breakfast time.

So bring me my breakfast.

Sam!

Careful, ladies. Look for the eyes.

One, two, three, bicycle.

And feint. Magpie, magpie, magpie.

Flap and flap and flap. Mary Lou Retton!

Palm tree and palm tree.

Lady Liberty. Lady Liberty.

Around the harbor. Around the harbor.

Circle Line tour.

And hurricane.

Can you believe how extraordinarily

gifted my girls are?

Absolutely unbelievable. Really.

- Sam!

- Find each other. Look in the eyes.

- I'm coming.

- One, two, three and four...

...and right, left, up and down.

Is this the Norwegian salmon I asked for?

I need my omega-3s.

Only the best.

I can tell.

You know, it costs a fortune to fly

that stuff in from Norwegia.

And push it, ladies. Push it, ladies.

Push it, ladies.

Ready? Okay.

- Gross. Mom!

- I have a spastic colon.

Well, you have a spastic brain.

- Stop. Stop hitting her. Stop.

- You bit me.

What are you doing just standing there?

Get to work.

I can't go to work now.

I've got a big test I have to study for.

Listen, Sam. People go to school

to get smarter...

...so that they can get a job.

You already have a job.

So it's like skipping a step.

Come on, get going.

And Flying Karamazov.

No, honey. Leave those on.

The lawn looks a little brown.

Fiona, we're supposed to be conserving

water. We're in the middle of a drought.

Droughts are for poor people.

Do you think J. Lo has a brown lawn?

People who use extra water

have extra class.

You call that grade-A beef? Well, that cow

must have cheated on his test.

Pickup.

Bobby, enough with the salmon.

You already made a salmon omelet, salmon

soup and salmon pudding. Come on.

- Help me. Fiona wants to eat me.

- That's nasty.

- Bite me, Rhonda. Bite me.

- That's nasty.

- Eleanor, your order's up.

- Coming. I got it.

Safe.

I'm okay.

- Chuck, how you doing?

- Super.

That's good. So cheese omelet,

extra bacon, crisp...

...blueberry muffin and a Coke.

- Make it a Diet Coke.

I'm trying to watch my weight.

It ain't going nowhere.

Pick up these salmon waffles.

- Sam, why are you still here?

- I'm almost done.

- You'll be late for school.

- I'll get there.

- Fiona goes ballistic if I don't finish.

- I don't care.

What I care about is your education.

She's got you getting up

at the crack of dawn.

- Your dad would want you at school.

- But...

No more "buts. " You just leave Fiona

and her big butt to me.

- Thanks, Rhonda.

- Get.

Hey, looking good, Mr. Farrell.

A man's best friend is his Mercedes,

Sam.

I'll remember that.

Any... Anything is possible

if you just believe.

- Anything is possible if you just...

- Audition today, son?

- Yeah, 5:
00, all right? Tell Mom.

- Knock them dead.

Dad. Now, do you see what I have to go

to school in? No offense, Sam.

Honestly, don't you feel sorry

for me?

No, I feel sorry about the three cars

we got you that you totaled.

Okay. All right.

- Carter, what are you wearing?

- What...?

This is my Snoop Dizzle look.

I cannot drive you to school like that.

Sam, I am a Method actor, okay?

This is part of my training.

I know, I know, I know. But look at this.

All right. Take two.

Buenos dias, Fighting Frogs.

Here's your daily drought reminder

to conserve agua.

Cut your showers short.

Brownie points go out to Mr. Rothman,

who hasn't had one in weeks.

Remember, today's your last chance

to get tickets...

...to the big Halloween homecoming

dance.

You too can dress up like someone

you're not, for a change.

- I mean, I...

- I pledge allegiance to the flag...

...of the United States of America,

and to the republic...

...for which it stands, one nation...

Primo parking spot dead ahead.

- Okay, there's a spot. There's a spot.

- Sam, watch out. Watch out.

Okay. You snooze, you lose!

Well, if it isn't Shelby Cummings

and her ladies in waiting.

- Shelby wants me so bad.

- You've never even talked to her before.

Oh, I've talked to her. Okay?

In my mind. And let me tell you,

in my mind, she wants me so bad.

Carter, you could do so much better than

Shelby Cummings. Even in your mind.

- There's another spot.

- Got it.

Come on.

Austin.

People like Shelby and Austin...

...are genetically programmed

to find each other.

How can so much ego be

in one relationship?

- Imagine what they say about you.

- They don't even know I exist.

Stalkerazzi at 3 o'clock.

The white zone is for cool people only.

No geeks.

Hey, diner girl, can I get a

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