A Girl in Every Port Page #7

Synopsis: After two sailors are conned into buying a lame race-horse, they go ashore to sort out the problem, but when they realize that the horse is one of a pair of identical twins, their plan for revenge becomes more complicated.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Chester Erskine
Production: RKO Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.3
APPROVED
Year:
1952
86 min
80 Views


Hear that, Benny? We're getting famous.

- Just don't give him your autograph.

- He's a good horse. I seen him run.

Enter him in the handicap Saturday.

We were going to anyway, weren't we?

- That's what I said.

- I don't get it. Are you a partner too?

From now on, I am.

Hey, what is this? We got more partners

than we can handle now, ain't we, Benny?

If High Life says he's a partner,

chum, he's a partner, get it?

High Life? I heard of you. You're a gangster.

Hey, Benny, these guys are gangsters.

We're getting out of here.

Stop the car, we're getting out.

I would hate to shoot

a member of the armed forces.

It ain't patriotic.

So sit still, huh?

- Say something, Benny.

- I'm saying plenty but not out loud.

We split the horse 50-50. Take the money

out of the stake you win Saturday.

- A fairer offer nobody ever got.

- Suppose he don't win.

- He'll win.

- You've talked to the other horses?

There are only two other horses

in the race who could win.

Clover Kid belongs to me and Satin Girl

belongs to a friend of mine.

With a piece of Little Shamrock, you're in

a race by yourself. What are the odds?

They'll open the way for Little Shamrock

on the stretch.

Don't want nothing happening to stop him

because we've got a big chunk on him.

Oh. Just to make idle conversation, suppose

Little Shamrock developed weak ankles?

In that case, two ex-sailors who owned

a racehorse will be spoken of kindly

by all and sundry who attend their burial.

- Do I make myself clear?

- Send plenty of flowers.

- I'm partial to a gay funeral.

- It's the first time I ever went to my own.

Things are certainly looking up. If we win

the race, we get kicked out the Navy.

If we lose, we get killed.

We haven't got a thing to worry about.

You know something, I'm never

going to buy another racehorse,

especially if they're twins.

Don't say that. I'm counting on it.

We ought to do this every year,

make an annual event out of it.

In no time at all, we'd be in strait jackets.

As a matter of fact,

we'd look good in strait jackets.

- Brain working, Benny?

- Sounds like it, all right.

I got it!

We'll kidnap the horses.

- Did you say kidnap them, Benny?

- Why didn't I think of this before?

What are you going to do after

you kidnap 'em? Horses are big to hide.

We gotta figure out a place

where nobody would think

of looking for a couple of racehorses.

I'll hide the horses behind the truck.

You get rid of the sentry.

Hey, there's a sailor down there trying to

smuggle a couple of horses aboard ship.

- You kidding? Go away.

- Come and see for yourself.

Go on, amscram.

Here that? What did I tell you?

He was right down there.

I guess he must have beat it.

Now, look here, sailor.

Don't go trying any tricks on me again.

Now, get going!

Psst.

- You sure this is the best place?

- Of course.

Who'd ever think of

looking for them in the brig?

You all right, sir?

I don't know. I was lying in my bunk,

trying to figure out a certain problem,

which has been keeping me awake nights,

involving a couple of horses.

When I looked out the porthole,

I saw them pass by.

Saw what, sir?

The horses!

Are you feeling well, sir?

I don't think so.

Nothing serious but I'll check in

at the hospital in the morning.

It was bound to happen.

Knew it would, sooner or later.

Just a matter of time.

Oh... Oh!

Oh...

Oh...

You gotta be more careful,

you're getting hay all over the joint.

I must look like a hay wagon.

Couple of kids passed me and made a wish.

How long we gotta keep 'em here? I don't

think they've ever been on a ship before.

Keep brushing. Everything's fine.

High Life thinks Garvey kidnapped them

and is chasing him all over town.

Millicent is sending us a cheque.

We're out of the race business.

We couldn't be sitting prettier

if they were triplets.

Don't even say a thing like that.

I got my hands full with two of 'em!

# My Bonnie lies over the ocean

# My Bonnie lies over the sea

# My Bonnie lies over the... #

- Going some place?

- Yeah. You?

Yeah, sick friend.

I got a sick friend too.

Must be an epidemic.

Yeah.

- Don't wait up for me. I may be late.

- I may be late too. My friend is awful sick.

# My Bonnie lies over... #

Don't catch anything.

- Can I drop you?

- I'm going the other way.

Me too.

Make a turn here, buddy. I want to get

rid of that guy who's following me.

- Sick friend, eh?

- You told me a lie.

I'm never going to trust you again.

A fella can't go to see his girl

without you tagging along.

She ain't your girl. She's my girl.

- What are we fighting about?

- Janey, I guess.

A couple of real pals

coming to blows over a girl.

- No girl is worth it.

- Positively.

- Except Janey.

- You're right.

We'll ask her whose girl she is.

If she doesn't know, I'll tell her.

May the best man win. Don't take it too

hard, Tim. You were almost the best man.

- Are we partners again, Benny?

- Share and share alike.

- Which half of her do you want?

- Well, I...

We ain't gonna cut Janey in no halves.

Hello.

Janey, didn't we have a date tonight or not?

Better tell him who's the head man here.

I thought I'd kill two birds with one

stone, so I made a date with both of you.

- Is there a shortage of stones?

- I was hoping to be alone with you.

- I brought you some presents.

- Me too.

- For me?

- Flowers.

Flowers.

- Candy.

- Candy.

- And a slave bracelet.

- And a slave bracelet.

Must be an echo around here.

- Just what I needed.

- Now you got two of everything.

If there were two of you,

all our problems would be solved.

Hey, wait for me!

I don't care how many

Janeys there are. I still want Janey.

I'm glad there isn't two of me.

I get confused with just one of me.

# My Bonnie lies over the ocean

# My Bonnie lies over the sea

# My Bonnie lies over the ocean

# Oh!

# Oh, bring back

# My Bonnie

# To me

# To me, to me #

Keep quiet!

Music lover.

Don't look now but I think we struck bottom.

Yeah. Maybe it's better for sailors, huh?

Oh, no, it was wonderful.

Well, thank you very much.

I'm sorry I'm so gloomy tonight.

I guess I'm not very much fun for you.

If you're in trouble, you can tell us.

And we'll get you into more trouble.

You can count on it.

- I guess I'm in love.

- Janey...

Tim.

You'd better leave now.

There's things between a man and a woman

too sacred to be heard by a third party.

- I'm in love with Bert.

- You are, Janey?

And he's in love with me.

Story of my life. Somebody's always in love

with my girl and she's in love with him.

He won't say anything

on account of Millicent.

I hoped Little Shamrock would win tomorrow

and she'd give him up and I'd get him.

But no such luck.

Some people get all the breaks... but not me.

Well, I'd better go in.

Good night.

I'm sorry...

I think we ought to run

Little Shamrock, Benny.

You know what happens. Either we get

kicked out of the Navy, or we get killed.

I'd rather get killed than kicked out.

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Frederick Hazlitt Brennan

Frederick Hazlitt Brennan (September 23, 1901 – June 30, 1962) was an American screenwriter of more than thirty films between 1929 and 1953 and the director of the ABC/Desilu western television series, The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp (1955-1961), starring Hugh O'Brian as deputy Marshal Wyatt Earp. Born in St. Louis, Missouri, he was educated at the University of Missouri in Columbia and began his career as a newspaper reporter. He wrote many short stories and was published in The Saturday Evening Post, Collier's Weekly, and other magazines. He published several novels and wrote for the theatre including the play The Wookey, which ran on Broadway. He died in Ventura County, California, from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, and was survived by his three children. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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