A Good Marriage

---

I fled him down the

nights and down the days.

I fled him down the

arches of the years.

I fled him down the labyrinthine

ways of my own mind.

And in the mist of tears,

I hid from him, and under

Running laughter.

Come on Darcy!

Come on babe, let's go for it!

Go for it mom, go for it!

Is she hot or what?

For an older chick, I mean.

You talk too much.

What can I get for you?

So, what's up with the

advertising genius?

We got our first

client last week.

Wonderful!

Yeah, it's the biggest car

dealership in Cleveland.

They, they want

a new approach.

Something that

skews younger, so...

You waited all night

to tell us this?

I'm sorry.

Ben, wonderful!

That's amazing.

That's amazing,

you two kids...

I mean three kids.

Just coming all this way just

to party with the old folks.

It's just...

Mom, are you okay?

I'm sorry, just, I think I

do need to go powder my nose

After all.

You're the best.

You're so lucky.

Got a good man, good...

Couple of kids, and you

even still got your figure.

Oh, your figure is fine, Betty.

Bob certainly noticed.

My mother would say...

"Count your blessings,

babe"

Oh, I do. I do.

You know that guy Beadie?

Over in new Hampshire?

He got another one.

A gay divorcee, like me.

What do you mean?

The um...

yeah.

- The... - Oh.

- The news anchor on channel eight?

You know, the really cute one?

He said it makes it an even dozen.

She was tortured.

I don't know what

I'm talking about.

I'm drunk.

That's okay.

Go back to your family.

Okay, are you okay?

- Yeah... - Okay.

- I just need a little more time by myself.

- Alright, I'll see you later.

- Mhmm.

Okay.

Heh.

I was going to save

this until later, but...

Happy anniversary

Mrs. Anderson.

Oh...

You're a Pisces.

Oh my god, bobby,

they're beautiful!

They're beautiful, thank you.

Oh... Oh...

Oh, hey, hey, hey, cut it out.

- Come on! What?

- For later.

Mm.

Save it for later.

Oh...

Let me try them on.

There.

Now, how do they look?

They were made for you, hon.

- Would you hold that?

- Yes.

And we'd better get back in there.

They're, they're gonna think we got a room.

Honestly speaking,

I wouldn't mind.

Alright, la... uh, la... ladies and

germs, what we have here is

The best accountant

in our little company.

In the same vein...

Best damn accountant

in the U.S of A!

And you want to know why?

You want to know why?

Because he's careful...

Okay, because he checks his work...

and look out IRS, because

when he has to,

He covers his tracks.

Enjoy!

Thank you for this.

Hi, I just wanted to thank everybody

for coming tonight, and um...

Just take a minute of your time.

Uh, when Donnie and I decided to have this party,

it was really as a way of saying

thank you to our parents.

For your love and support and

for putting up with us for the

Past 25 years. Um, but really,

to thank them for their love

and their respect and their

devotion to each other.

Through hard work and a

little help from their kids...

And lots of love.

My parents have created

something very rare.

A good marriage.

We love you guys.

Well, got the

house to ourselves.

Heh, yes.

Mmm.

We do.

Hmm, am I gonna

get lucky tonight?

Well, if you bring me

some fizzy water...

Uh huh.

To settle my stomach a little.

Mm.

You just might.

Oh, want you to be on top.

Well, we'll see.

Here I come, ready or not!

Yeah, well hopefully

we both will.

Hmm!

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Bob...

Hmm?

Mm.

Are you my bad, bad girl?

Oh, are you my naughty boy?

I am.

I can't help it.

I'm powerless over my nature.

I hope you're not powerless

over the long list of

Honeydews I have for

year 26, Mr. Anderson.

Mm.

Come on over here, you

naughty little boy.

Yaaaah, whoop-Ah!

...tombstone every mile

Count 'em all, there'd

be a tombstone every mile

Ahh.

That was terrific.

Good.

Happy anniversary you

naughty little boy.

Yay!

...with potatoes, and

you're headed down

Down the woods to

get to a Boston town

Okay.

A 1955 double-Dye wheat penny.

Robert Anderson's

great white whale.

Christ.

Mhmm.

Is that uncirculated?

Hmm, no, but better than good.

I'd call it VG.

I found it on yesterday's

pennies from heaven blog.

The guy who owns it has it

listed for like, I dunno,

$15,000, which is ridiculous,

But I think I could get it

for 9.

Let me buy it for you.

Let me, an anniversary present.

- Like your fish earrings.

- No...

No, no, no, no.

Yes!

Those fish earrings

didn't cost $9,000.

No, I know, but I want to.

Oh, no...

It's not the, look, hm, look,

if I find it, then it's...

Then it's fate, it's karma.

I know, I know, but...

I just thought, you know,

it's our anniversary, and it's

Special...

But maybe... going once,

going twice...

I'm sure that one day I will

find one in my change.

Until then...

Yes, you enjoy the hunt.

Yes, I enjoy the hunt.

Okay.

Alright.

Oh, great.

They're home.

Oh, you're such a mom.

I know I am.

I'm just powerless

over my nature. Mm.

Does an accountant ever

eat a good breakfast?

Ooh, good shot ma.

Ugh, don't say "ma." It sounds

so ignorant.

Ma!

Ma ray, ma barker, ma jug,

you went out last night ma!

Okay.

Eww!

Ugh! Always blame the woman!

Well, as James Jones says in

"from here to eternity,

"God dealt women all

the best the cards.

Right between the legs."

Sexist crap!

Daddy, I can't

believe you said that!

Daddy, it

sounds so ignorant!

Bad dad.

Stop it, stop it.

So when will you be back?

Eh, it depends on the traffic.

I have to drop in on the famous

Mr. Gaines before I leave.

You're not crazy about my

secondary career as a

Kingpin collector...

But I am the best

accountant in the firm.

Yeah, no conceit

in our family.

- No.

- Don't forget to thank him for the tasteful toilet seat.

Will do. Right after I ask him for

a corner office with an ocean view.

Oh, you're bad.

You're bad. Goodbye.

Bye. You take good care of my baby.

Oh, you bet I will ma.

Love you.

I love you.

Drive safe.

I will, I always do.

Don't miss your flight.

Bye!

Call me!

Bye sweetie.

Bye.

...and although

police refuse to comment,

Sources close to the

investigation confirm that

Elements of the crime suggest

that it was the work of the

Notorious serial killer

who calls himself "Beadie."

Yes, that's right Dave. Marjorie Duvall moved

here to the picturesque town of Southgansett,

new Hampshire after

her divorce five years ago.

Co-Workers reported her

missing last Wednesday after

She failed to

show up for work.

Mrs. Duvall's body was

discovered early this morning

By a jogger in this remote

area of the abandoned south

Gansett railway station.

If this was, in fact the

work of the notorious serial

Killer, police can soon

expect to receive Mrs. Duvall's

Identification cards, along

with a taunting note from

Beadie in the mail.

About a dozen downtown

businesses were boarded up

Wednesday, and glass littered

sidewalks following two nights

Of protests over the police

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