A Guy Named Joe Page #8

His name is sanderson.

He comes from a little town

Called twin hooks, rhode island.

And from what he says,

Twin hooks, rhode island

Is just about 5 times

As beautiful as paradise.

Would you mind waiting

For me for a minute?

No, of course not.

I'll be right back.

Well, I got him off

To a good start.

Oh, you did, huh?

And after we'd won

The game,

We'd all sit around

The dressing room

Where we'd sing

The old fight song.

You'll love this.

It went like this.

Fight on for old u.s.c.

Come and fight on

To victory

Telephone call

For sanderson.

Sanderson?

For who?

Telephone call

For sanderson.

Is that you?

Must be some other sanderson.

Come on.

Nobody'd be calling me.

Hello?

Who?

I don't under...

Mom!

It's my mom!

Oh, that was swell of you.

You know, that's

A funny thing.

He's a nice guy.

Knows how to spend

His money too.

All I know is what

People around town said.

When hank was a boy, you know,

No bigger than this,

He worked at the sawmill

Down by the river.

And one day,

He fell into the saw

And cut off his big toe.

Oh, that's terrible.

Oh, not for hank. His folks

Didn't even call in a doctor.

And afterwards, when people

Asked about the accident,

Hank said it didn't bother him a bit,

That he'd just

Grow a new toe.

Are you kidding?

This guy's a bigger liar

Than I was.

The only difference is,

He gets away with it.

Well, why can't you and ted

Come over to the house

Tomorrow night?

Because we're on

24 hours notice.

That means that by

Tomorrow night at this time,

We may be a long way

From san francisco.

We don't know

Where we're going...

What do you mean,

"bring ted over," anyhow?

He's cute.

How long have you

Known him?

Who?

Ted.

Oh, we've been buddies

For over a year now.

Same class. We got

Our wings together.

Go on with the story.

Oh, well, about a year

Before I left home,

Hank was working

At the same sawmill,

And he fell into

The same saw.

Only this time

It cut off his foot,

About up to here.

I don't believe it.

He was growing

Himself a new foot.

What happened?

Well, some folks said that first

There'd be a full-grown foot.

Then the rest of the leg

Would grow

Till the foot touched

The ground.

Others said that they'd

Grow the leg out first,

And then the heel with

The toenails last of all.

And then there were

Those who said

That there'd be a tiny

Little foot and ankle,

And then it would grow till

It got to be full sized.

Don't you think that's a very

Interesting scientific problem?

Oh, I think it's

Just fascinating.

It's just the most wonderful

Thing I've ever heard of.

There's a dame that's headed

For the booby hatch.

Finally they decided

It's downright immoral

For a guy to grow a foot without

Them knowing anything about it.

So they go up

To hank's house.

And they yell up that if hank

Doesn't let them in,

They're gonna set fire

To the place.

Well, hank lets go

From his bedroom window

With a double-barreled shotgun.

So they set fire

To the back porch.

Well, the place got hotter

And hotter.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, wait a minute.

Let me look at you.

This is really amazing.

You know, you remind me

Of my sister?

We're all brothers

And sisters, aren't we?

First time in 6 months

That line hasn't worked.

O.k. Thanks.

Well, this is it.

I'm sorry, girls.

If you're still hungry,

You'll have to finish alone.

But why?

What's happening?

But ted,

What about the fire?

I'll tell you

On the way out.

You know, that thing

About the foot-

If that's a line,

It's no good.

And if he believes

It himself, he's crazy.

Guy couldn't grow

Another foot, could he?

You got me, pal.

Here, take these girls

Wherever they want to go.

But what about hank?

Hank? Oh, hank.

Well, the place burned down.

But what happened

To hank?

Well, nobody knows.

Did he get out of the

House or didn't he?

He never got out.

What about the foot,

You dope?

Did he grow

A new foot?

They never found out.

All they found

Was a little bridgework.

Gold, you know. Nothing

Else. Nothing at all.

Ooh!

Well, I didn't say it was

A funny story.

It smells.

Well, I guess

This is good-bye.

Well, so long, greg.

I wonder if this is

That wartime immorality

They're always

Talking about.

'Bye, ted.

Who do we take out next?

Nobody. We're gonna

Ride along with them.

With them?

Those guys can fly-

That's only half

The job.

We gotta see how they hold up in combat.

Do I have to keep on

Looking at that guy?

You can't

Give us a hint

Of where we're going, can you?

Well, I can tell you

That where you're going

I don't think

You'll find anybody

Who reminds you

Of your sister.

You got all

That consignment

Of spare parts

Aboard, sergeant?

Yes, sir. 23 cases.

Good. Take her up.

We made it.

I sure hope that new

Outfit coming in

Brings plenty of spare parts

With them.

Yeah. What's the matter?

Blown out.

Blown out, huh?

Hmm. Reminds me of the last

Letter I got from my wife.

You know what that kid

Of mine did?

No, sir.

Well, he's trying

To be a chemist,

And he's out in the barn

One day fooling around

Mixing stuff together- a

Little potash, a little sulfur-

And maybe a little

Nitroglycerin.

You know what happened?

No, sir.

He blew the barn up-

The whole cockeyed barn.

Just blew it up!

Ain't that the funniest thing

You ever heard?

Yes, sir.

That sure is funny,

Colonel.

You know, that reminds me of my kid.

He's only 4-

Aw, you wait till he's 9, henderson.

Then's when

They're really fun.

Yes, sir, but as

I as saying-

Aw, great things, kids.

Great things.

Let me know when you get

This tub finished, will you?

Yes, sir.

Oh, al?

Yes, sir.

What time's that gang

From the states get in?

About an hour, sir.

See that they're

Fixed up.

Sure will.

Old friend of yours got in from sydney.

Yeah, who's that?

Dorinda durston.

Are you kidding?

Where is she, nails?

Over in 4.

Holy smoke!

Give her my regards,

Will you?

You bet I will.

Hello, Dorinda.

Al! Al yackey!

They told me you just pulled in, honey.

Oh, it's good

To see you.

It's good

To see you, al.

Hey, hey, hey.

What's this?

Just hold on.

It'll leave

In just a minute.

Let me look at you.

Why, al, you're a colonel!

That's right.

Everybody gets

Promoted these days.

You ought

To see nails.

He's a brigadier,

My boss here.

Colonel al yackey.

Aw, gee.

Can you imagine

How Pete'd cuss,

Having to salute me?

Yeah.

He sure would,

Wouldn't he?

Sit down, al.

I was just starting

To unpack.

I did that on purpose,

Dorinda.

I had to find out

How you were doing.

Oh, not so good,

Not so good.

I manage to keep busy.

Yeah, I know. They tell me

You're trying to win this war

All by yourself.

Nobody ever

Sees you anymore.

All work and no play-

Makes a girl keep her

Mind off her troubles.

You look kind

Of peaked too, honey.

It don't seem right-

Al...

Please don't

Make me cry.

You're gonna have to

Get over this, Dorinda.

Get over it?

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