A Hero of Our Times Page #2

Answering your letter from the

- X, 2...

- Any news?

One moment, eh!

Put me with 10,

Balestrazzi with 5,

- and the usher with 2.

- The usher.

- And you?

- No, not me.

- Any news? - Your office manager

was looking for you.

- Is she angry?

- She's excited.

- Excited... - It seems the body

of her husband is on it's way.

Good day, dottore!

How're you?

Dandy.

You know, Alberto, I've got news

you'll also be pleased about.

After 5 years of fighting the

bureaucracy, the body of my husband...

- ...has arrived in Brennero. - Great,

congratulation, I'm happy, dottore.

Five years is a lot of time for the

nerves of a woman.

- Mr. Menichetti.

- My God, who is it?

This morning also you were

No, Sir,

I had sent him on an errand.

Alright.

How lucky of me to have you to

look over me, dottore.

- That beard, Alberto!

- I've got tough skin.

You could never go into diplomacy,

my husband used to shave it

even twice a day.

As did all those in the delegation

in Bucarest.

Hello?

The undertakers.

Alo!?

Hello? Madame De Ritis speaking.

- No, of course!

- I'm listening

- There's dust, take the duster.

- The little rag?

The coffin's in Brennero?

Yes? It already has been cleared.

What a relief.

Yes, free port, I understand.

I don't want anything to happen

like the last time.

It had already arrived in Brennero

and it was sent back to Bucarest.

But listen, dear Sir, the zinc case

wasn't in the estimate, if I'm not wrong.

- O, my!

- Yes, but, still, 10,000 more...

- What thieves!

- Patience.

- Write!

- I write.

Yes,

the body will arrive...

- The body...

- On the 17th,

with the 6:
25 express,

platform 8.

Very well, thank you.

- Madame De Ritis?

- Yes, Sir.

Did a warehouse-keeper ask you to sign

a protest against microphones?

- No, Sir.

- Fine.

Anyway, try finding out who has

signed it, then we'll see about it.

Everybody has,

with my exception.

- If you want, I can name the names,

Lucidi, Balestrazzi... - Enough!

Can I go, Sir?

Give me the scissors.

I had just got on the tram,

and what d'you think he does?

- What?

- He puts his hand here!

- Do you get me, this geezer!

- And you?

- You know, he must have been at

least 40! - What nerve!

- And this must be the '56 model?

- Yes, Sir, lobbia style,

for the next year.

That's not it, it seems like a model

from fifty years ago.

Our opinion is, Sir,

that fashion goes and comes around.

We can't trust our opinions.

How many have you made?

This is the first one,

Sir.

Before mass-producing it, we should

find out how the public reacts to it.

We could repeat the experiment with the

floppy Tyrolian, d'you remember, Sir?

- Of course I do, what measure is it?

- 60, Sir.

- Human resources department?

- Yes.

Check if any of our employees

wears a 60 hat size and let me know.

Fine.

Close it! Dottore!

- I knew you'd be here. - I came here

for something urgent, it's not mine,

there were 11 smoking,

Balestrazzi gave it to me.

Lower your head!

- Like for confessing a sin.

- Like for confessing nothing.

- Lower your head.

- Lower?

- Well,now...

- Half a centimeter more.

What do you mean, more?

- Orders from above.

- O God!

- Pull yourself together.

- Pull...

Pull myself together.

- O my God, what is it all about?

- Did they take your measurements also?

- The head? You also?

- Yes, you, me, Balestrazzi.

- Why?

- Boh!

What d'you mean boh,

they're measuring our heads!

What am I, I'm an employee,

I'm no slave!

I have the right to know why they're

measuring my head!

- Why is more than 60 bad? - Il Duce

had 59 and he was the man that he was.

Don't mention Il Ventennio,

elections are coming!

But had he won the war...

He goes on, and on...

I'm sorry, Sir, it's forbidden

posting there.

Now I'm posting it, and if someone

puts it down, I'll crush his head.

Everyone's after my head

this evening!

Look, look, the hairdresser's coming!

Mamma mia!

- Who?

- You know her, take her home.

Watch me. I'll stop her.

- Good evening, Miss Marcella,

how're you? - Fine, thank you.

Let me introduce you to my 2 slaves,

my employees.

- Aurelio Bilancia.

- Glad to meet you.

- Dottor Pedocchi.

- Glad to meet you.

- Lucky you.

- Dottore, are you heading home?

If I'm heading... really...

How come, alone?

Got nervous, I was at the cinema with

a guy and he starts moving his hands.

- What d'you mean, where to?

- Relax!

Isn't it a disgusting vice!

I says:
"Stop it, take off your hands.

Put your hands in your pockets!"

Nothing, he just goes on.

Then I hit him,

and now I have to go home alone.

- Are you afraid?

- A little, will you come with me?

Really, we were having a conference.

- A pity.

- We were...

- If you allow me, I'll accompany you.

- I don't allow it!

You can't,

you're having a conference.

- Don't push it!

- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

What d'you say?

Should I have accompanied her?

- What're you waiting for?

- What's there to think about?

- Stay calm!

- Go for it!

- Let me think.

- About what?!

- Admit you don't want to go.

- I don't want to go, ok?

You could have said so,

I'd have gone.

Don't you say so! I've been cultivating

her for 3 years, and you want to cut in!

- Why don't you go with her, then?

- Why, why...

Would you go with someone who's

underage?

- She's underage?

- She isn't 18 yet.

D'you know what?

I'd have gone.

Why should I take any chances?

I'm lucky to be patient,

and that one, next year, she'll be 18,

- and I'll go for her without any risks.

- Alberto!

You saw how she looked at me,

I'll steal her away from you.

- You'll do what?

- I'll steal her.

O, you'll do that?

Fine, upon my word, the first time

I'll meet her, I'll steal her.

- Good night.

- So long.

I'm a slob, but he'll steal my foot,

he hasn't washed in three moths.

- Didn't he build himself a bath

at Easter? - Yes, I saw it.

He stacked inside heaps of newspapers,

the books, the suitcase, the buggy,

- so admit you don't want to take a bath!

- To me you're telling it?!

I have him in my office!

- Drive him out!

- And where do I put him?

- With the widow.

- Impossible.

Talk to the manager and have me

transferred into your office.

- Say I'm indispensable.

- The widow's in love with you.

She swore on her husband's body she

won't remarry! What does she want from me?

I'll talk to the manager tomorrow.

- But, carefully.

- Carefully.

- Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

- No!

Maybe it's better we left.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- What does the manager want?

- Well?

He will propose for you to wear a hat

he wants you to test.

- Do you remember the Tyrolian hat?

- He can't make us wear it,

- I won't wear it.

- It's enough for us all to agree.

- We'll refuse.

- Do we agree?

- Yes.

- All say, we'll refuse.

- We'll refuse, that's it?

- We'll refuse!

Come in.

Come on, take a seat,

please.

Please.

- Coffee?

- Thank you, very nice of you.

I've summoned you

for a private matter.

Let it be clear, you're free, very free,

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