A Hologram for the King Page #3

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and he hasn't been here yet.

How's the jet lag?

Have you adjusted?

Actually, I feel

like a pane of glass

that needs

to be shattered.

Oh.

Have you got pills?

No. No! I figured I'd be

executed at customs.

I have something

for you.

- Do you have good Wi-Fi here?

- Uh, sometimes, yeah.

But, you know,

Wi-Fi is the least of our problems.

There you go.

- Olive oil?

- That's what you tell anyone who asks.

Have a little taste when

you get back to the hotel.

I'm pretty sure it will

shatter your glass.

Okay, team!

Here's what I got.

One... no update yet

on the food.

Two... and I quote,

"Wi-Fi is the least of our problems."

And three... the king is coming,

just nobody knows when.

That's all

Mr. Al-Ahmad told you?

I didn't meet with him.

I will tomorrow, hopefully.

So, should we

set up today?

Yes. Unpack the rest

of the gear.

Check that

we're ready for showtime.

I think we should

expect the unexpected.

- This is Alan.

- I've got Eric Randall for you.

So, did you meet the guy?

Karim Whatshisname?

No, but I met his associate.

Very nice woman from Denmark.

From Denmark? And?

Really encouraging.

We should be ready to roll

by tomorrow afternoon, I think.

- Welcome to the Hyatt Jeddah.

- You mean the king is coming tomorrow?

- Bye, Alan.

- Probably not tomorrow,

but she said Mr. Al-Ahmad

will confirm specifics very soon.

What is that

supposed to mean?

Alan, half the board is calling

me just about every 20 minutes.

Steve Milligan on the line.

Jesus, you have to give me

something more exciting.

Okay.

Dear Kit,

you say that your mother

has always been emotionally unreliable.

That's true

to a certain extent.

But who among us is completely

stable all the time?

Dear Kit,

from this godforsaken hotel room

5,000 miles away,

I offer you this confession

and ask you

for your forgiveness.

I've made your short life

one of burden and worry

when you should have

been living carefree.

My penance for blowing it

is my being here, a salesman,

back going door-to-door,

with my own burden being

this mini hump on my back,

which is either a disease

about to eat my spine...

- Dad!

- ...or a sack of spiders growing under my skin.

- Dad!

- Your mother would be pleased either way.

Stop this, please.

Stop smoking, Kitty.

So, forgive me for not being

the father you deserve,

for not providing you with the

means to follow your dreams.

All I can do now,

and for who knows how long,

is hope an opening comes along

that I can somehow squeeze through...

and make things right.

Oh...

Ah!

Ah.

- Are you available?

- Alan, you sound terrible.

Were you run over

by a camel?

- Can you take me to KMET?

- Of course.

Are you missing

your shuttles on purpose

to spend more time with Yousef,

your guide and hero?

You are using

too many words.

Hey, do you like reggae?

So, where'd you get

the booze, huh?

- Excuse me?

- I know a hangover when I see one.

- Where did you get it?

- I would rather not say.

What, you think you might

endanger your source?

- Oh, you think that's funny?

- I do, yeah.

But, listen, you don't

need to go to KMET today.

There's no way

the king is coming.

He's in Yemen.

- Yousef, what are you doing?

- Taking care of you.

- Right here?

- Yeah, it's not too far.

Where are we going?

- Well, you said you wanted to try real Arabic food.

- I didn't say that.

You'll do great.

It's the best hangover cure in town.

Come on.

- That was her.

- Who?

The woman I shouldn't

be talking to.

Jameelah's her name.

A gorgeous girl.

Very beautiful,

you know?

But, unfortunately,

not very smart.

Sweet, but dumb

as a goat.

Anyway, she's married

to this older guy.

This older man

is very rich.

- But also a bit strange.

- Strange?

- I think he's some kind of international swinger.

- What does that mean?

- I think he goes to Europe and has sex with boys.

- So he's gay?

Gay? No.

You think that means he's gay?

Anyway, a few weeks ago,

she starts sending me these texts.

At first they were just bored,

like, "What are you doing?"

Blah, blah.

But recently they've gotten really sexy.

If he'd seen any of those messages,

I'd be dead.

She'd definitely be dead.

So she's jeopardizing

her life for these texts?

- Her again.

- Why do you talk to her like that?

- What do you mean?

- That lovey-dovey way.

It's like she is your girlfriend.

She's a sweetie,

you know?

- You need to sit down with him.

- What? No.

- No, no, no.

- You need to sit down with him,

and you gotta

look him in the eye

and you have to tell him you haven't

done anything with his wife.

- Because you haven't, right?

- No, nothing. Never.

You tell him this. This is how he

knows you're telling the truth.

You look him in the eye. Because if

you actually were screwing his wife,

- you'd never face him.

- Mm-mm.

Trust me.

This is how you handle this.

Alan, your back.

What is that?

I removed a scab.

Is it bad?

You want

to see a doctor?

Alan, where are you?

Why are you not out there?

- Because nothing is happening today.

- Why not?

- The king is in Yemen.

- Sh*t.

- And where are you?

- At the doctor's.

- Are you sick?

- No, it's nothing. Don't worry.

- I'll be fine. Don't worry.

- Okay, all right.

- But don't forget...

- I think I have to go now.

I'll talk to you in the morning.

Bye, Eric.

- Mr. Clay?

- Yes.

I'm Dr. Hakem.

Come inside.

Did you do

something to it?

- I did a bit of investigating.

- With what?

- A steak knife.

- Was this an attempt on your life?

No.

- Are you on medication? Prozac?

- I'm not depressed.

I was curious.

- I was just trying to see...

- You have a minor infection.

Well, what is it,

that thing?

I suspect

it's just a lipoma.

And that's not bad?

Well, if it's a lipoma,

then it's just a growth, like a cyst.

- So it's...

- Benign.

- Are you sure?

- No, to be sure, we'd need to do

a little bit more

investigating.

It's just that it's

so close to the spine

and I haven't

been well recently.

Not well?

Clumsy, slow,

lacking energy.

- Can you specify?

- I don't know...

I've lost direction,

I think.

And strength

and certain abilities.

- For instance?

- I've always been pretty good at...

...creating simplicity.

Making complicated things and

situations go smoother, easier.

So your feeling is that

this bump is the cause

of the loss of those

capabilities?

- And that's unlikely, is it?

- I would say it's unlikely.

We should do a

biopsy to make sure.

- A biopsy?

- Yes, and then we send it to the lab.

Great.

This has you

really worried, huh?

Oh, I'm worried

about a lot of things.

Okay, you can

change now.

I had the same thing

a few years ago,

like a tightening

in my chest.

When I got the EKG,

I was so sure I'd find out I had a murmur

or an irregular rhythm or something

that would explain the fatigue.

And?

And it was nothing.

- That's too bad.

- We're stuck with our stupid good health.

So, come back

on Sunday

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