A Little Bit of Heaven
Come on, let's go.
Come on, kiddo.
- We're going to have some fun.
- Yeah!
You know I'm the best friend
ever. Now get out of here.
- Have fun.
- We won't be back till after five, so
- have lots of sex with your husband.
- Marley!
Hot, steamy, unbridled sex.
Thank you. You all have fun.
Be good for Marley.
We're gonna be good, Mommy.
- No sugar.
- Course not.
- She said no sugar.
- Love you, Mommy.
Take care.
Have fun with her.
Make that magic happen!
- Ready, baby?
- Yes.
- What are we gonna do today?
- Go get some sugar.
What?! Sugar?
If you think
this is what I want out of life,
you know, the whole matrimonial,
maternal fairy tale, you're wrong.
It's not for me and that's okay,
because this idea
that you have to fall in love
in order to live happily ever after
is just not true.
Stanley...
Stanley...
you gotta get up, buddy.
I gotta go to work.
Hey!
Yeah, good morning.
Oh, Sh*t.
wake up one morning
you realize
your life is one big compromise,
stuck in the job
I would totally get my brother
to go out with you, if you walk Stanley.
If I had a brother.
feel like the world
is passing you by
Stanley!
Never done all the things
you would need to try
stuck in one place
- Let's go see Uncle Peter.
Good boy. Good boy.
There he is.
Good morning.
If I didn't have to work,
I'd cuddle with you. Love the undies!
What I'm living for
You ask yourself
there's got to be something else
something more, more, more
well, let the sun shine on your face
don't let your life go to waste
now is the time,
got to make up your mind
let it shine on you,
let it shine on you
you ask yourself
there's got to be more
than what I'm living for,
than what I'm living for
you ask yourself
there's got to be something else
Excuse me.
something more, more, more
Oh, my God.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Wow!
- You need to watch where you're going.
Hello. Poster child for not mixing
wine with vodka.
How are you okay?
- Are you okay?
- Ohh h.
Are you? Say yes.
Ohhh!
- Glad you could join us. Ready?
- I thought you were doing this.
Okay, why don't we start.
Marley?
- Good morning.
- Morning.
I'm sure this town
has been pitching the hell out of you,
so I won't bother with that.
But I will tell you
that you'll never be number one
as long as your customer base
is 82 percent male.
Yes. Well, women don't buy condoms.
Not yours.
Come on, gentlemen.
As I'm sure you're all painfully aware,
it is women, myself included,
who dictate when, where,
how, with whom and how many times
we're going to have sex.
We can't always count on the man
So we actually do go buy them
and then we end up in the condom aisle
with a choice.
Do we buy Trojan, whose very name
conjures the essence of
penetration with protection?
Or do we choose the one
with the skanky-looking girl,
with big tits,
skimpy shorts
and stripper pumps?
I'll keep this one.
- Hey!
- Yay! Hi, baby.
She had them and their condoms
wrapped around her little finger.
- Alright!
- To the youngest, the hottest
vice president
in the history of advertising.
buying a house now.
Yeah, why take the time
to stop and smell the roses?
What you need is a big, fat mortgage
like an albatross around your neck.
Okay, in honour of Marleys
white-trash taste buds we have...
Mac and cheese pizza?
You know what I want
for my birthday? Your metabolism.
I'll trade you my metabolism
for those b*obs.
Throw in that necklace
and you've got a deal.
Baby, that's a good trade.
Hey. She's gonna have her own b*obs
soon enough.
Way to keep a secret, Marley.
- Are you getting implants?
- No.
- I'm pregnant.
- You're pregnant?
- Cammie's getting a brother.
- Another one.
But we're not ruling out
the implant thing.
- You're disgusting.
- Cheers. To you, Marley.
To us.
- Bye, you guys.
- Good luck out there.
- Congratulations on the new boy.
- May he be happy and healthy.
- And may he have a huge penis.
- Geez! You are just terrible.
- Speaking of terrible...
- Speed down.
- Shut up.
- I'm serious, baby.
- Bye, good night.
Good night, Doug.
- Love you.
- Love you.
Hey, Doug. Wanna come over?
Oh, you're coming over.
No, you are coming over.
Oh, my God! Oh!
Oh!
Mmm, not bad, mister.
Not bad at all.
Oh!
So, does this mean
I actually get to spend the night?
I mean, I love being the first number
on the booty call list, but...
Well, second?
Sure.
What if I want something more?
What if I don't'?
Really?
I thought we made that clear
when we met.
That's what people say at first,
so no one gets hurt.
Not me.
Oh! What? Oh, my goodness.
I love you. I love you.
Real.
That's not real. Got it?
- Yes.
Real. Okay?
Not real.
- Fake.
- Fake.
Silicon Valley. Got it?
You sure?
Here's a little something
to celebrate your promotion.
Thank you, Mommy.
Such a kind mama.
Okay. Let's see.
'Congratulations from your best friends
forever. Renee, Thomas and Cammie. '
Oh, you're so good with words.
Is this the actual gift, or are you
setting me up with him?
The idea is:
You take him outand you, um, put a real man in it.
What? Like maybe Doug.
- Who?
- Ohhh.
Come on.
We all know he wasn't a keeper.
- Poor Doug.
- No poor Doug.
- Ohhh.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Could you tell him
Yeah, that'd be great.
Bye, bye.
Okay, I gotta say something.
I think this Vice Presidency
is making your tits smaller.
Really?
Yeah.
- Really?
- Hm hum.
- Hey.
- Hey, Rob.
- Think Marley's tits are shrinking?
- Like, right now?
- No, in general.
- Uh, yeah.
- How are we doing on Coffee Land?
- Great. Our favourite so far.
'Drink this dark-flavoured spit
and it'll make you sh*t. '
- Tell him the others.
- Can't. He has to be across town at 1,
beck here for storyboards at 3
and dinner at 6
and after dinner we have drinks
with the Home Depot.
That's why I love this woman.
I love you.
Jesus. He's running you ragged.
You look... not so good.
- When did you last see a doctor?
- Does Dr Phil count?
Ow!
Sh*t.
Oh.
You look familiar.
- Have we had sex?
- No, um, I'm sorry.
Never mind.
I was just joking.
- Marley, I'm Dr Goldstein.
- You're Dr... Goldstein?
- Yes, I'm Jewish, from Mexico.
- No. I mean,
I just expected somebody older,
not so...
young.
Take a seat.
- So, Marley...
- Hmm.
- What seems to be the problem?
- Not so sure. Hence being here.
Look up. So you've been experiencing
some weight loss, right?
- Umm...
- And you had some blood in your stool?
Yes, I've been experiencing
some of that bleeding
you're talking about.
Just lie on your back. I'm gonna
feel around your stomach, okay?
- Just relax.
- Okay.
I'm kind of ticklish,
so don't be a wuss.
Don't get all feather-fing...
Ow!
Okay, Marley,
we're gonna need to run some tests.
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"A Little Bit of Heaven" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_little_bit_of_heaven_1948>.
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