A Little Bit of Heaven Page #4

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a stripper would wear.

- Is everything okay?

- No. It's not okay.

- She's really sick.

- I know.

I'm trying so hard to play along,

but I'm terrible at it.

And I... I just don't want

to ruin her day.

That's the last thing I want to do,

so... bye.

I'll take her home.

- NO!

- It would look so nice on you.

- Yes, it would. If I was you.

- A simple 'no' would have sufficed.

I don't need no clothes.

This is for you guys.

Everything you own

is swimming on you.

- The swimming look is in.

- I just want my daughter to look good.

When you look good, you feel good.

I don't need a new wardrobe

to feel good.

You also don't need

a negative attitude.

You need to wake up and realize

I'm not getting any better.

- Can we not do this here.

- No. Seriously!

You always b*tch about

how Dad can't confront anything

and here you are

walking around in a haze,

like protein and a designer dress

are going to cure my cancer.

Ahhhh!

This is the car. This one.

Thank you.

- Was it really that bad?

- I heard you from Jimmy Choo.

- It's just that she drives me crazy.

- Well, duh! She's your Mom.

That's her job.

- Thanks for everything.

- Thank you.

Ah. OW. Ah.

Marley.

Hey. It's okay.

Just give me a second.

It's gonna be okay.

- Is she gonna be alright?

- She's dehydrated.

A couple of bags of saline

and she'll be feeling better.

She is right here, people.

'Shop till you drop'

is only an expression.

Not bad.

That's the best thing

I could come up with.

Dr G.

- Ah, hi.

- Hi. Hello.

GI extra ordinaire.

Artist extra ordinaire.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Nice to... oh!

I...

I'm suddenly in the mood for some Jell-O.

Do you need anything?

Really? Jell-O?

- I'm good. Thanks.

- Okay.

Strangely, she's not so good

with needles. Ouch!

- So what happened?

- I don't know. I just had a

- sudden, searing pain.

- Hm.

Come on, doc. Level with me.

Is all this really

gonna be worth it?

Yeah, um... well just

- tell me where exactly...

- OW!

Sorry.

Well, there was a pain in my ass,

but then I realized it was my mother.

Marley, come on.

Just answer the question.

Is there a woman with a very big needle

standing next to me?

Ow! That's my skin

you're pricking.

I'm sorry. I can't seem

to find a vein.

Let me try.

Dr G?

I think I found one.

I don't know how it's doing

against my cancer,

but this treatment

sure is kicking my ass.

Two down, eight to go.

Hey, Marley. Hey. Marley.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Hey, Marley.

There's, um, there's a fund raiser

on Saturday" for patients.

- Oh, nice.

- Yes, it's for patients, and...

Sorry. I'm just going to walk over there

where I can still eavesdrop.

I wanted to see

if you wanted to come with me.

Not come with me as a date,

or anything like that. No.

It's semi-formal, so I don't know

if you like the idea of getting dressed.

I can't tell if you're trying

to talk me into it,

- or talk yourself out of it.

- A bit of both.

- I'll see how I feel Saturday.

- Oh, good. Okay. Thank you.

- Sorry. Thank you. Bye.

- Bye.

Where, besides your life and General

Hospital, do doctors look like that?

I mean... come on!

Hello, Marley. It's your father.

First of all, I don't appreciate

you hanging...

Stanley meta really cute Shitszu today.

I think he had a crush.

I'm not saying you should,

but if you let him mate,

you'd probably start

a whole new breed:

BullShits.

BullShit Terriers.

Okay.

Someone needs comfort food.

I'm gonna go home and fix you

a really nice Italian dish.

So later on when your doorbell rings,

you answer it. Okay?

Okay.

Beautiful.

You Marley?

- Yeah.

- I'm Vinnie.

These are for you.

Thank you. L... whoa, whoa.

- I love you.

- Bastard.

Ah.

How do you know Peter?

Who?

I got a call from work

to be here tonight.

Especial Escorts.

I'm really sorry.

Well, you should know

that I definitely live up to my nickname:

Little Bit of Heaven.

Oh!

That is some offer, but, um,

no.

- Oh, don't forget your flowers.

- Nah, you keep them.

Beautiful flowers

for a beautiful lady.

Thank you.

Actually, I don't mean to sound rude,

but... you don't look so good.

I'm sick.

Probably dying.

There isn't anything to be afraid of.

I've died twice

and they brought me back both times.

Really?

Did you see anything,

like bright lights or anything?

Whoopi?

No.

It Was, uh,

more like floating in water.

It was real nice.

I could have floated there forever.

Nice to meet you, Marley.

Nice to meet you.

Vinnie!

Alright, I'm going all in.

You know why?

Because I got the nuts.

So you should probably fold,

or...

What are you doing?

Or I'm bluffing.

Fold.

- Ohhh!

- Ohhh! Woo!

- Okay. See?

- Oh, boy.

- Smart.

- Full house, baby.

- Are you really single?

- I'm the cancer chick, remember?

Hardly qualifies me for being

somebody's dream girl.

Why? Most of the great romances

in history end in death.

Romeo and Juliet.

JFK and Jackie.

- Siegfried and Roy.

- Um,

Roy is not dead.

Well, he didn't look too good.

- I haven't found the right guy yet.

- Bullshit.

Who wouldn't want a girl like you?

You are just afraid to let them in,

because if you do and they reject you,

it hurts worse than death.

You're like

- Sigmund Freud all of a sudden?

- Ja.

Actually, a guy I like asked me out

this weekend. Sort of.

He said it wasn't a date.

- What time does it start?

- Five.

- Dinner and a movie?

- Fund raiser.

- Formal?

- Semi.

- He's an idiot.

- I know. Right?

Well, maybe he'll wise up

and treat it like a real date.

If not, f*** him.

Would you mind doing me a favour?

Oh, I like that.

Yeah, a little bit of heaven?

- You want more heaven?

- Oh.

You want a whole lot of heaven?

Oh!

- Ooh! Oh, my God, baby.

- Oh, my!

Oh, my. Oh, my God.

Ohhh!

Ohhh! Ohhh!

Ohhh!

Oh, that feels good.

Oh, oh.

OW, the bottle. Ow, ow.

- Oh.

- Woo!

- Wow! Oh, my.

- Woo.

WOW, Vinnie.

- Oh.

- Marley.

- Thank you, Vinnie.

- You're welcome.

I had so much fun.

See what happens

when you give a guy half a chance.

You might be sore in the morning.

- Goodbye.

- Bye.

See ya.

- Is there a doctor in the house?

- Que guapa que ests.

No clue what you just said,

but it sounds so good I don't care.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- No, for coming.

- I know.

- Would you like to have a drink?

- Yeah.

Okay. There.

- I have a good one.

- Could you be more specific?

- A joke.

- Oh, God, I created a monster.

- You wanna listen to it?

- Yes, of course.

Okay, um, okay.

Why does it suck being an egg?

- I give up.

- Why does it suck being an egg?

Because you only get laid once,

you only get eaten once,

you take 10 minutes to get hard

and only 3 to get soft.

And then you have to share this box

with 11 other guys.

But the... worst thing is...

Oh, it's the funny part.

You are the worst joke teller

I've ever met.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that

the only person to ever

sit in your face is your mother.

You're just hopeless.

- Ms Corbett.

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