A Lot Like Love Page #3

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- I met him in class.

- Yeah? You went back to school?

- Acting class.

- He's an actor!

Wow, actors! That's

one rung up from musicians.

He was a writer.

He is a writer.

Hi. Could I get a coffee?

Just very black.

- After you.

- Sorry, go ahead.

- Frappuccino, please.

- All right.

I believe the question was

who dumped whom?

He left me.

- I got it.

- No, I got it.

No, but I appreciate the reach.

The acting classes

are really paying off, but I got it.

Shut up, I got it.

What are your plans?

- Plans for what?

- Tonight. It is New Year's.

I'm not a really big New Year's guy.

- Bunch of amateurs getting drunk.

- Yeah.

- Cringy people wearing those party hats.

- The hats... Lame.

- I know of a party.

- Really? - Let's go.

You've got more clothes in your trunk

than I've got in my whole closet.

Try this.

Nice. Is this Bon Jovi's?

Should I act like I'm some big

Hollywood-producer type or something?

Just be yourself.

Except maybe don't mention

the whole diaper thing.

Hey, Emily.

I've got to ask you something.

- Do you mind?

- Sorry.

What do you have to ask me?

- What was strike one?

- What?

In New York. Strike two was

that I didn't play guitar.

Strike three was that I was born

under the wrong star sign.

What was strike one?

Strike one was

that I had to make the first move.

I got strike one

before we even met?

You can't get strike one

before you step up to the plate.

You drive.

- I introduced myself.

- What?

In New York. I introduced myself.

That's not a move?

- Who called who today?

- I didn't have your number.

You never asked.

You came!

And with a young man in tow.

This is Michelle

and Michelle's fianc, Michael.

Hi. Oliver.

I sell diapers.

- Well, it's nice to meet you.

- Yeah.

- Hello, ladies.

- Oh, my God! Look at you.

- Get you a drink?

- I'm good, thanks.

I think I'll get one.

You are not getting off

that easy.

He's an old friend.

I wish I had an old friend like that.

He's gorgeous.

Come on, give it up.

Very carefully,

I want you to move backwards

in the direction of the bar.

- Hello?

- Ellen, it's me.

What do you want, Oliver?

I'm at this big Hollywood party

and I just ran into

the white rapper guy you like.

Eminem? No way!

So I'm sitting at the bar, right?

And we're talking.

And out of nowhere, he starts running

his hand up and down my leg.

Happy New Year, Ellen.

You're such a dick, Oliver!

- Thank you.

- Eminem's here?

Who's he talking to? Her?

Some guy.

- Now he's talking to her.

- She just kissed him.

- Kissed who?

- Peter. She's kissing Peter.

Is he kissing her back?

Sorry, I couldn't hear you.

It think you said you sell diapers?!

There you are! Come on.

Put your hands on my ass.

That'll really get him.

Do you want me

to put my hands on your ass?

- You all right?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna go to the ladies' room.

I'll be right back.

Incredible!

Let's go!

Come on in here, you all!

This is New Year's,

and you all know how this goes.

Cheat on me and I kill you!

Here we go,

time for the countdown.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

- Clearly...

- Shh!

- Clearly, you're not a fan of...

- Shh!

I'm serious. My neighbors are, like,

flip-out kind of people.

- Okay, that's enough.

- Having a problem? Very serious.

- You okay?

- I'm fine.

Oliver...

You've been robbed.

- I'm moving.

- You are?

- Yeah, I told you.

- You did?

It's official, the power's off.

When did you tell me?

Earlier.

My business.

It's in San Francisco.

When are you leaving?

Tomorrow.

- Ollie...

- Yeah?

Nice, thank you.

Hey, I took this.

Yeah, I know.

You framed it.

- Yeah, I liked it.

- You framed my picture.

It's a good picture.

Wow.

Just when I'm starting to like you,

you're moving away.

Can I tell you something?

I think that... it's time that...

I think it's time that I stop...

being somebody's...

girlfriend.

Hold on one second.

Just one sec.

Emily?

You okay?

You gonna throw up?

Hey, baby. I'm home.

Sorry I'm late.

I got hung up at the office.

On the phone with some

bean-counters from Huggies.

- Did you remember the wine?

- The what? - The wine.

I forgot. You know what?

I'll get it right now.

Don't bother,

I already picked it up.

Why'd you ask me

if I got it then?

'Cause I knew

you wouldn't remember.

I knew you'd forget it.

Well, that's something of

a self-fulfilling prophecy then, huh?

You know what, Oliver?

You're never here.

And even when you are here,

you're still not here.

I'm here right now.

Have you seen my red shirt?

- I can't do it anymore, Ollie.

- Can't do what?

This.

What are you trying to say?

I don't know, Ollie,

I think we need to take a break.

- Hi. Do you mind if I?

- I'm sorry.

I was gonna get that.

- Well, there's a bunch more.

- Right.

- You wanna trade?

- No, thanks, I'm gonna take this one.

So I see you knew

it was the import.

- Very sneaky. Very sly.

- It's got the acoustic B-side.

And a bonus track.

So you see my dilemma.

I can't let you walk out

of this store with the last copy.

I'm not gonna walk out,

I'm gonna pay for it first.

Wait a minute.

Don't I know you?

Jeez, spare me the pickup line.

Here.

No, it wasn't a pickup line.

I do know you.

Michelle Foster's wedding.

- I went to school with her husband.

- Yeah, wait. Ben something.

That's right.

Ben Miller. And you are...

Emily.

- Here.

- No, I couldn't.

- Come on, take it.

- It's yours.

- Just take it, seriously, I feel bad.

- It's yours.

- You know you want it.

- I do want it. - Take it.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Can't believe you just took it.

Thanks for looking those contracts over.

I'm sorry about Bridget.

I really liked her.

Tell Carol, "Hi"...

...and my nephew.

Will do.

- Airport.

- Yeah.

Dude, this is what I want.

Exactly like this.

- All black like Batman.

- Very cool. - Yep.

- What are you doing?

- Test-driving. Hop in the back.

You should get one too,

like Batman and Robin,

except without the tights.

It's like...

Where you gonna park it?

This thing?

Wherever I want.

We're not in the money yet.

You heard your brother, right?

We wow them in New York, it's a lock.

Come on, hop in.

I'm gonna stick around here

and finish some stuff up.

Would you relax, please?

Take a step back, man.

You're starting to depress me.

Take a weekend off,

do something for yourself, okay?

Beautiful.

- Gorgeous.

- Come on, Hailey.

Wait, Hailey!

Hailey, hold on. Sweetie!

Oh, my God, are you guys kidding?

Get a room.

I can't help it, he's so hot.

Hi, Emily.

- Thank God you can't get pregnant

when you're pregnant. - Hi.

- So, you and Ben went on a little date?

- Yeah, we had lunch.

It was nice.

- That's all I'm gonna get out of you,

isn't it? - Yeah.

Then I should probably

get back to work.

- Bye, honey.

- Bye, sexy.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Lunch? What's the matter?

You don't like him?

Why? Just 'cause we didn't jump

right into the sack?

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