A Madea Christmas Page #2

Come. Let me help you.

- You are so rude!

- She's something.

No, you are the one that's rude

anytime you bring lingerie to a man.

Who was the 37th president

of the United States?

I know.

Bailey, do you know?

I know the answer.

I didn't ask you. I asked Bailey.

He don't know. He's always dirty.

And he's just a farm boy.

Yes, but he's the only one to get

an A on all three of his last tests.

What did you get, Lucy?

Or you, Larry?

There will be no

bullying in this class.

I'll see you all tomorrow.

Do your homework.

Look over the list of songs

for the Christmas Jubilee.

Christmas is five days away.

Hold on a second, Bailey.

You gotta start speaking up

and participating in class.

I know you knew the answer.

You're are so smart and talented.

You get an A on every test.

You gotta believe in yourself.

Lucy's right.

I'm just an old farm boy.

There is no such thing

as "just a farm boy."

You are smart. You can

be anything you want.

I can only imagine if you could

just stay awake in class.

- Are you up late at night?

- No, ma'am.

I want you to sing the lead

solo at the Christmas Jubilee.

I'm sorry. I can't do that.

- Yes, you can.

- No.

You know what? I really

gotta go, Miss Williams.

My daddy's gonna be

waiting for me at home.

Go on.

Hello?

I don't hear from you in six years...

and you call me out of the

blue because you need my help.

Don't blame that on me.

You're the one who married Kelly

and stopped returning my calls.

You're not still bitter, are you?

Maybe. How is she?

I don't know. We're divorced.

Good. She was such a tramp.

I can't believe you married her and

dumped me. That's what you get.

Okay, okay.

Hey, pull up, It was high school.

Am I forgiven?

That depends. Can you help

me with my school situation?

- So you need sponsorship?

- Yes.

A call came in just as I

was leaving a meeting..

With a company that's in

the middle of a PR nightmare.

They could use some

goodwill right now.

Actually, in a town like yours.

So your timing may be perfect.

Tell me about it.

Can't do that until

we have a contract.

- You don't trust me?

- No, no, no, it's not that.

I have to protect my

interests, that's all.

Tell you what.

I'll come down with a contract,

you get your people to sign...

and I'm sure I can pull in...

at least a hundred grand for

your school and its event.

$100,000. That would be great.

How soon can you get here?

You need the money

right away, don't you?

Yeah. So you're willing

to drive down to Alabama?

I will drive over tomorrow.

We'll get the contract signed,

then I'll have to leave...

but I'll be back for the event.

That would be fantastic.

Oliver, thank you so much.

See you soon.

- You got it.

- Bye.

Child, that Powerball is going up.

Hello? Hey, I need y'all to

go get me some scratch-offs.

- Yeah, and play the numbers for me.

- Can you help me?

That Powerball has

gotten really high.

Play number 22...

- Excuse me.

- 17,5 and 6.

Go play them numbers, and bring

me a bunch of scratch offs. Yeah.

Just two, three of 'em.

Don't spend a lot of money.

I need some help!

Hold on, 'cause somebody's

screaming at me.

I'm getting ready to

choke her. Hold on.

Lady, you gonna need a damn

doctor if you holler at me again.

Do you understand?

Now, what can I help you with?

- I need a watch for my husband.

- A men's watch.

A men's watch. You know,

I like it with a leather band.

- You know, a nice thin watch.

- Here are some men's...

Oh, hell. It's time for my break.

- Time for my break.

- Break?

No, wait.

- You're so rude.

- Bye, bye, bye.

- You rude as hell. You rude as hell.

- Please. I need a watch.

Get out of my way. I'm trying

to go to the break room.

Wait! Come back!

You still here?

He called me back.

Yeah? And?

He thinks he can get us

$100,000 in sponsorship money.

$100,000?

- Oh, my goodness, that would be so great.

- I know.

That would not only

pay for the Jubilee...

that would take us well into

next year's school year.

We could get new books,

maybe even a new computer.

Wait, calm down. It hasn't

happened yet. It's not done.

Okay, but I have faith that it is.

Lacey, thank you so much for

doing this. I really appreciate it.

I know this school is not the best,

but it is all we got.

And I know you could have gone

anywhere in the country...

with the credentials you have.

- I love it here.

- Thank you.

He's coming down tomorrow

with the contract.

This is so wonderful!

I gotta call the mayor.

- Yes.

- He's gonna be so excited.

This is going to be a wonderful

Christmas after all!

It's gonna be fantastic.

All right. I'll see you tomorrow.

- Hello?

- I must be dialing the wrong number.

You said that already,

but you called back five times.

So what number you trying to get?

I'm trying to reach

my daughter, Lacey.

Oh, yeah. Yeah,

she just walked in. Hold on.

- Who is that?

- Your mama.

- Hi, Mama.

- Who was that?

That was Conner.

Conner?

That's the guy you hired

to help you with the farm?

Yeah, that's him.

Okay. I don't know if I

like him up there with you.

Suppose he gets fresh...

and you don't have no man

up there to protect you.

Mama, I'm fine. What's going on?

I can't wait until you

taste the dinner...

I have prepared for

you for Christmas.

Yeah, I've been meaning

to talk to you about that.

I'm not gonna be able

to come home this year.

What?

Uh-uh. It's Christmas.

I know, it's just I'm just

getting settled in...

and the farm needs a lot of work.

Uh-uh. You not no

farmer in the dell now.

It's not just the farm.

They've also decided to

extended the school year...

to the day before Christmas.

- What kind of school is that?

- We lost a lot of days...

because of the storms this summer,

so we have to make them up,

And I'm helping the kids prepare

songs for the Christmas Jubilee.

And we have a budget crisis.

So it's just too busy right now, Mom.

I'll come up there.

- No.

- Yes.

- I haven't seen you in nine months...

- It's not the right time.

And you don't drive.

I can get somebody to

drive up there with me.

I can ask your Aunt

Madea to come with me.

Mama, can we just skip it this year?

It's only Christmas.

You bite your tongue,

Christmas is the time of year...

when we celebrate the birth of

Jesus with our families and...

Lacey, I don't have

to tell you that...

you and I are the

only family we have,

I know. Mom, are you crying?

What was that, Conner?

I didn't say anything.

I'm sorry. Conner needs

my help, Mama. I gotta go.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Love you Bye,

Do not look at me like that.

You don't understand.

I didn't say a word.

Are you okay?

Girl, I don't know why I let you talk

me into comin' and doin' this job.

- I didn't take my medicine this morning.

- What medicine?

Five milligrams

of "Don't choke that ho."

These customers gettin' right...

I feel I'm getting ready

to maybe catch a case.

- I could spit.

- What's wrong with you?

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