A Marine Story Page #3

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I thought they weren't

lettin' anyone out.

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They are.

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Yeah, but I thought

you were in for life -

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family tradition and all.

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Listen, if it has anything

to do with your marriage

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to what's-his-name...

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If he comes around here,

I'm gonna knock him down for ya.

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He's a Navy SEAL, Leo.

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Be a friggin' walrus,

I'll still knock him down.

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He's not comin' around.

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So you're out...

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What next?

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Exactly.

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We'll have to find something

fun for you to do then.

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Leo, I...

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Hold that thought.

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- Boys!

- Leo!

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Get down here.

Somebody I want you to meet.

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All right, guys, let's go.

To the troops!

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To the troops!

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-Ah!

- Yeah!

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How would you even

know there's a war on?

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They ain't raised taxes,

they lowered 'em.

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Don't you read

the bumper stickers?

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Yeah, and those yellow ribbons.

Those help.

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So you lady Marines

all really Semper Fi and sh*t?

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We're just called Marines.

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But you still do all that

secretarial work, right?

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They flyjets, idiot,

helicopters.

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The only thing they

don't do is ground combat,

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but that's gonna change.

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Combat? No f***in' way.

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No offense, honey.

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Try not to be a prick.

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What Turk is saying,

in his graceful manner--

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Very graceful.

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...the difference between

men and women--

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A gun is a great equalizer.

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Yeah, yeah, but some jobs

men are just better at,

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because of the muscle mass.

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Muscle mass, Stenny!

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It's not that women

aren't part of the team,

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there's just the strength issue.

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He's right.

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There's that saying that

the strongest woman

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is equal to the weakest man.

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What?

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It's true, so if we're

talking about combat...

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What did you just say?

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I didn't saying anything, I'm just...

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You just said that

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the strongest woman

is equal to the weakest man?

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Yeah.

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I'd take that bet.

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Dale, arm-wrestle her.

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- Yeah, buddy!

- Yeah!

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I'm not the weakest.

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You want to go

round robin on this?

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Cut to the chase.

You're it.

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Woo!!!

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Come on!

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It'll be like

a little science experiment.

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You got her, buddy.

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Come on, baby,

make me proud.

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A good clean fight...

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No kicking, no biting, Dale.

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I got 20 on Alex.

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I got that bet.

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Good. Put your money

on the table.

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- Here we go.

- Ready?

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One, two, wrestle.

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Come on!

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Put her down!

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What the hell?!

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What happened?

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Well, we put that

theory to rest, boys.

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Yeah, wait, wait!

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I get shot, she can't

carry me off the field.

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I can't carry you off the field.

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All right, let's test this with a real man.

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A lefty!

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All right, hold on, hold on.

You know what, guys?

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I think we proved the point.

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- Alex, my compliments.

- Thank you.

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- I'm buying.

- That's my money.

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Cool!

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The front line is just about

anywhere you drive a HumVee,

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so women are

in combat every day.

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But you can relax.

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It's not gonna be

official policy any time soon.

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I had a buddy who was a Marine,

and the women Marines...

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well, all the other grunts

called them W.M.'s.

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Waste of money.

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- That's what he said.

- Jesus, Turk.

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He's really not our friend.

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- That's what he said.

- It's all right.

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We have an all-volunteer military

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that's stretched pretty thin

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and they'll take pretty much

anyone they can get,

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so I'd say if you're

not gonna join up,

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you can shut the f*** up.

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Well, she's got you there, bud.

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What'd I miss?

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Where are you going?

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There's your difference

right there, boys...

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Bladder the size of an acorn.

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