A Night at the Roxbury

FADE IN:

EXT. PANORAMIC VIEW OF LOS ANGELES - SUNSET

As we hear "What is Love" by HADDAWAY -- night falls and

partytime begins.

SUPERIMPOSE:
SUNSET BLVD., 11:03 PM

CUT TO:

EXT. DANCE CLUBS - NIGHT

Coconut Teaser, The Palace, The Roxbury, Tatou, etc.

CUT TO:

INT. DANCE CLUBS- QUICK SHOTS - NIGHT

Of random dancers -- gyrating, flirting, making out, drinking.

CUT TO:

INT. PALACE - NIGHT

The CAMERA MOVES THROUGH a crowded dance floor -- and

SETTLES ON the rhythmically swaying backs of...

STEVE & DOUG BUTABI

Our heroes. In their minds, Steve is tall, dark and handsome and DOUG is a little genius. Neither is correct

-- except for the tall and little part.

They simultaneously turn and scope the room. In unison,

their heads bop to the MUSIC. Doug steps out from the

bar.

DOUG:

(to O.S. female)

Hey! You want to dance? No?

Yes? Alright, don't worry about

it.

Doug, rejected, steps back as Steve steps out.

STEVE:

(to O.S. female)

Do you want to dance? You do?

You don't? Not a problem.

They are no strangers to rejection, so neither is fazed.

Doug enthusiastically steps towards two attractive girls.

DOUG:

Hey, you wanna...?

Two attractive girls turn their backs to Doug.

DOUG:

(remaining positive)

No? Maybe I'll see you later.

Doug steps back. Steve spots GIRL AT end of BAR and

dances over to her.

STEVE:

Hey, do you want to dance?

GIRL AT BAR:

No.

STEVE:

(cheerfully)

Alright, you know where I'll be.

Steve steps back. Doug sees a pretty woman on a balcony,

waving to someone.

DOUG/STEVE

(pointing to each other)

You want him? Me? Him? Me?

Pretty woman waves them off, frustrated, and dissapears.

STEVE:

... Oh, you're okay?

DOUG:

Alright then.

They turn around to the bar, bartender is standing in

front of them.

STEVE:

Bartender, can I get a beer?

The bartender pays no attention and walks away. Second

bartender comes from the opposite direction.

DOUG:

Barkeep, what do you have on tap?

The second bartender ignores them, walks away. The

bartenders keep crossing past the, paying no attention.

STEVE:

Big guy, could I get a...

DOUG:

My man, how 'bout a...

STEVE:

S'cuse me, partner...

DOUG:

Yo, buddy, I was wondering... you

know what? Don't worry about it.

STEVE:

Yeah, we're good.

They turn back to the dance floor and bop. Suddenly, a

HOT GIRL dances in front of them.

Doug dances up behind her and frantically gyrates. She

turns away -- only to find...

Steve gyrating behind her. The guys close in on her

trapping her in the middle.

HOT GIRL:

Get off me!

She runs off, furious. The guys, unaware that she's

upset, celebrate.

STEVE/DOUG

Score!

They high five. The doorman comes over with the upset

Girl and pulls the guys out.

STEVE/DOUG

What? What's goin' on? What's

your problem?

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNSET BLVD. - NIGHT

The road flies by as we PAN UP the front grill of a red

BMW to reveal Doug and Steve. The car stops next to two

girls in a white Porshe.

INT. BMW - NIGHT

DOUG:

We got some sweetness on the left.

Doug Turns UP the STEREO really loud so the car is

pounding.

STEVE:

(to the girls)

What's up?

DOUG:

(to the girls)

How you ladies doin' tonight?

INTERCUT GIRLS' POV

The guys moving their mouths -- but the girls can't hear

them.

GIRL #1

Turn your music down!

DOUG:

Yeah! Just follow us!

GIRL #2

You're a big stupid ass!

STEVE:

No. You have beautiful eyes!

DOUG:

I like you too!

GIRL #1

Go home, jerkoff!

STEVE:

Okay, we'll meet you there.

The light turns green. Girls drive off.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROXBURY CLUB - NIGHT

A neon sign reads "ROXBURY."

ROXBURY CLUB FRONT DOOR

A huge muscular BOUNCER, wearing a headset, guards the

roped off area. Doug and Steve confidently strut past

the crowd.

BOUNCER:

Stop!

DOUG/STEVE

What's up?

BOUNCER:

Guys, this is the Roxbury. No one

gets in unless you're on the list.

DOUG:

We're on the list.

BOUNCER:

Names?

DOUG:

Doug Butabi.

STEVE:

Steve Butabi.

BOUNCER:

You're brothers?

DOUG:

No...

They slowly turn to each other and bust.

DOUG/STEVE

... Yes!

They high five, laughing.

BOUNCER:

Quite a joke.

STEVE:

Doug is hilarious.

DOUG:

Yeah, I know.

BOUNCER:

Yeah, you ever hear this one?

You're not on the list.

Behind Steve and Doug, a '98 yellow FERRARI SCREECHES up

to the valet. Car door opens and...

RICHARD GRIECO:

gets out. Looking great, in an Armani suit, beautiful

supermodel accompanies him.

STEVE:

(beside himself)

Is that...?

DOUG:

It is. The King of '21 Jump

Street.' Richard Grieco.

Grieco quickly steps past Steve and Doug.

STEVE:

(aside to Doug)

Check the wheels.

DOUG:

Check the hottie.

The Bouncer jumps aside, letting them enter. Richard

inadvertently rubs his nose as he enters.

DOUG & STEVE

Watching. They both imitate his nose rub and try to

follow him in. The Bouncer steps in front of them.

DOUG:

(yelling at Grieco

like they know him)

Alright, we'll see you later then!

(to Bouncer)

You know what? We're gonna take

off now.

STEVE:

Maybe we'll hang out later.

BOUNCER:

There's no chance of that

happening.

STEVE:

Sounds good.

The guys exit.

CUT TO:

INT. BMW - NIGHT

The guys are driving.

DOUG:

You know what was wrong with that

place.

STEVE:

It's hard to say, since we didn't

get in.

DOUG:

It's just a poorly run operation.

They can't properly evaluate the

incoming clientele.

STEVE:

I thought we just didn't look cool

enough.

DOUG:

C'mon. You? You're a beautiful

man. I tell you what I'd do if it

were my club. I would treat all

the outside wannabes just as well

as any legendary former television

star.

STEVE:

That's pretty Roosevelt of you.

DOUG:

It's just what I believe in.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - LATER

A police car drives behind them, turns on the SIREN.

INT. BMW

The sound of the SIREN mixes with their MUSIC.

DOUG:

Must be the new dance mix version.

POLICE OFFICER (O.S.)

(loud speaker)

Pull over to the side of the road!

A female POLICE OFFICER signals them to pull over.

DRIVER'S WINDOW

The officer steps up to their car.

POLICE OFFICER:

You know you were doing fifty?

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