A Night at the Roxbury Page #14

CUT TO:

INT. MONDRIAN SKYBAR - LATER

Cambi and Vivica are standing by the bar, talking to

AKIRO and TORONAGA, two middle-aged Japanese businessmen

.

VIVICA:

Yeah, I think it's great how you

get to travel around the world.

AKIRO:

(in Japanese)

These hotties are sweet.

TORONAGA:

(in Japanese)

Sweet ass.

We hear a PAGER GO OFF in Cambi's bag. She checks the

beeper.

VIVICA:

Who is it?

CAMBI:

I don't know. It's just a bunch

of pound signs.

CUT TO:

INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Doug is repeatedly pressing the phone pad over and over.

STEVE:

I'm not sure you're doing it

right.

DOUG:

(frustrated)

Steve, you have to hit the pound

sign or it doesn't go through.

(sighs)

Maybe their phones aren't working.

STEVE:

Try putting in our number and then

hitting pound.

DOUG:

Excuse me, Mr. Bill Nye the

Science Guy.

Doug starts putting in their number...

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. MONDRIAN SKYBAR - CONTINOUS ACTION

Cambi is talking on a cellular phone near the table, as

Vivica entertains the Japanese businessmen.

CAMBI:

Hello?

DOUG:

Cambi. It's your boyfriend. I

need to see you.

CAMBI:

(not knowing who it

is)

Uh... well, I'm at the Skybar.

DOUG:

Be right there... sweetheart.

Steve gives Doug a thumbs up.

CUT TO:

EXT. VAN - CONTINOUS ACTION

The van pulls up and the guys get out and head in.

DOUG:

How's my hair?

STEVE:

Good.

DOUG:

Long-term relationship good?

STEVE:

It's totally committed. You know,

Doug, when things aren't going so

well, it really makes you realize

how much your woman means to you.

CUT TO:

INT. SKYBAR - DAY

Steve and Doug enter and are hit with the unwelcome sight

of their girls flirting with the businessmen. They strut

over, ready to fight.

DOUG:

These guys bothering you?

CAMBI:

Hi, Doug.

DOUG:

(to businessmen)

You guys messing with our women.

JAPANESE GUYS:

(in Japanese)

What's up?

DOUG:

You want to mix it up? Come on!

Take me on. I'm insane. You

don't know what you're dealing with.

The businessmen look at them strangely.

STEVE:

Vivica, I'm feeling a little

vulnerable here. I thought we had

an understanding. And I can't

believe you're willing to just

throw away everything we've been

to each other?

VIVICA:

Doug, Steve, this is Akiro and

Toronaga... they're my cousins.

Steve is relieved, Doug is mistrustful.

STEVE:

(holding out hand to

shake)

Oh! Well, it's about time that we

met the family.

DOUG:

(pulling to Steve's

hand back)

Come on! What do you think, we're

stupid? How can they be your

cousins?

VIVICA:

(like talking to a

child)

Well, his mother and my mother are

sisters and that makes us cousins.

DOUG:

... Oh. Okay.

CAMBI:

(to Akiro and

Toronaga)

Would you excuse us a second?

DOUG:

Yeah, we just got to talk to them

a second.

STEVE:

Yeah, 'cause we slept with them

last night so...

`

CUT TO:

EXT. MONDRIAN - SIDEWALK - DAY

Cambi and Vivica, Steve, Doug assemble near the Silk van.

CAMBI:

So, did you guys have as good a

time last night as we did?

STEVE:

I had a great time, Vivica. In

fact, I think we've reached the

point where I can comfortably call

you 'Viv' and leave out the 'Ica.'

DOUG:

So, you guys want to hang out or

see a movie or do what we did last

night... or eat or... just do what

we did last night or hang out, eat

and then do what we did last night

or... you know, whatever... and do

what we did last night.

VIVICA:

Sounds good.

Cambi gives Doug a kiss. He melts, then quickly tries to

act cool. Vivica affectionately holds Steve's arm.

STEVE:

Viv, I'm glad our relationship is

strong enough to withstand the

hard times -- like when were

just in the bar -- I also think

we're not just projecting onto one

another but dealing with the

reality of who we are. And most

important, we know how to listen.

VIVICA:

What?

CAMBI:

Hey, you boys want to go somewhere

quiet?

The girls look at them seductively.

DOUG:

No...

DOUG/STEVE

Yes!

STEVE:

(in reference to

joke)

It's gold. I'm telling you.

The guys high five and laugh -- they walk to the van.

Doug opens the passenger door.

DOUG:

Ladies, have your boarding passes

ready.

Cambi and Vivica just stand there.

CAMBI:

What are you doing?

STEVE:

Aisle or window seat? I'm sorry,

ma'am, you're gonna have to check

that bag... The movie on this

flight will be uh... I don't know.

I can't think of any more.

VIVICA:

Where's your car?

DOUG:

Our dad got mad and took it away.

CAMBI:

Your dad?

STEVE:

Yeah, we used to work for him, but

we quit today so actually we're

unemployed.

VIVICA:

You're not in business with Mr.

Zadir?

DOUG:

Yes, we are. But, not now. We

just met him last night. But, we

will be. So, no, but, yes.

STEVE:

Especially, if we ever get to see

him again.

The girls digest this for a beat. Cambi signals to

Vivica and they both start walking back to the bar. The

guys, confused, run up to them.

STEVE:

Hey, we were just kidding about

those boarding passes. You can

get in.

CAMBI:

Get away from us.

DOUG:

What's going on?

CAMBI:

You guys are a big waste of time.

DOUG:

... Como what?

VIVICA:

Steve, you're a jerkoff.

STEVE:

Well, I'm glad you shared that

with me. That's a big step for

the both of us.

CAMBI:

Guys, consider what we did with

you last night a favor. Now do us

a favor and never talk to us

again!

DOUG:

What did we do wrong? We'll

change.

VIVICA:

No, you can't change. You and

your brother are ugly pathetic

losers.

(to Cambi)

That's the problem with

nightclubs. Poor schmucks look

just the same as rich schmucks.

The girls walk back to the bar. The guys watch them go.

CAMBI:

(as they walk)

I can't believe we actually had

sex with those asswads. I hope

the nips are still at the bar.

The girls disappear into the bar. The guys stand in

shock, trying to absorb the ultimate rejection.

CUT TO:

EXT. FREEWAY - LATER

Slow-moving congestion. We see the Silk van driving in

the middle of it.

CUT TO:

INT. SILK VAN - CONTINOUS ACTION

Doug and Steve sit in silence for a while.

STEVE:

(trying to cheer

him up)

Hey, Doug, I think some of the

plants are beginning to wilt...

no, I'm just kidding. They're

made out of silk.

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