A Perfect Getaway Page #2

- Bye, Mom!

Well, I was just

pointing and shooting.

These new things have

too many buttons for me.

Yeah, that's what you get

for buying top of the line.

I might have to break down and

actually read the manual some day.

I would love to see that.

Thanks.

Wow!

Oh...

Okay.

Well, I guess

everybody else did it.

Did they really?

Show it no fear.

I think the rest of it kind

of washed away or something.

Okay, watch me. Keep your

eyes down, your speed up,

avoid those green rocks

and just be fearless.

Well, he made that

look easy.

Yeah, but he's not

wearing a whole

Dave's World of Camping

store on his back.

All right, ready!

World record, baby.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, my God!

Careful.

You got it.

Okay. Thank you.

You did great.

Come on, baby,

you can do it.

Outstanding.

Did I almost just

die right there?

Come here, come here, come here.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I was doing so well,

I thought.

God.

Hey! What's your name?

Have we met before?

Because when I

first saw you guys,

I was getting

a little dj vu-y.

- No. No.

- No.

Nowhere I remember, Nick.

That face.

Are you an actor?

No, no, no.

I haven't seen you on TV?

No such luck. No.

Actually, Cliff is a screenplay

writer. He's very sought-after.

All the big movie studios

want him to do their projects.

I knew I smelled fame and fortune

on you. A screenplay writer?

We just say screen...

Screenwriter.

Any movies I might know?

Well, actually my...

My...

My first script is in

pre-production right now.

So, if you ask me again

the same time next year...

Who's in it?

Still trying to figure that

out. Still casting out, so...

Well, Nic Cage is

always money in my book.

I like how he

gets all intense

right at

the end of a sentence!

So, you got

a good Act 2 twist?

Yeah.

Yeah?

It's...

Are you in

the business, Nick?

Me? No, no.

I just took some course,

one of those

writing boot camps.

I've had so many ass-puckering

experiences in life,

I figured, "Hell, I'll

just throw it down on paper

"and make myself

a million bucks.' '

Yeah. It's not

that easy, is it?

I liked it all,

except the paperwork.

You know, actually

making pages, it's just...

Yeah.

But I got the basics down.

Three acts, hero with a journey,

red snappers. All that sh*t.

Red snappers?

Yeah. You know,

you bring in a character just

to f*** with the audience,

just to try and

throw them off track...

It's a herring.

It's a red herring.

I'm pretty sure

it's a snapper.

Excuse me while

I shake the bush here.

So, you're, like,

halfway to famous, Cliff?

Pretty much.

Outstanding!

Yeah, there's a whole big crew

getting ready in Vancouver,

building sets and stuff.

But they're there,

you're here.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard to explain,

but they brought in another

guy to do a quick rewrite. So...

On your story?

Yeah, just a two-week

punch-up. They... It's common.

Yeah, how long ago

was this?

It's nine weeks now.

Yeah.

No. That's f***ed up. That's your

vision, Cliff. That's your baby.

You can't let them

get away with that sh*t.

He's got these agents

and they don't do...

I mean, they don't

fight for him or anything.

And I was just telling

Cliff the other day...

Not that "me" isn't

my favorite subject,

but maybe we could talk about

something else for a while.

Well, I'm going to leave you

with one last pearl of wisdom.

Get a new agent?

You get a new story.

What?

Me, too!

I have one! No!

Wait a minute.

What should we do?

Should we go up

or should we

just go back down?

This is supposed to be

the best service, ever.

I don't care.

Did you hear about Oahu,

what happened there?

Why? What happened?

Well, my dad just

called from KCK.

Reception's, like,

major sh*t out here.

But he said something

about some murders.

Wow.

There's no service.

Flat line.

I'm in and out,

mostly out.

Wait.

This is in Honolulu?

Dad wants us to leave.

I think he's in major

overreaction mode, okay?

Some newlyweds were

killed somewhere, he said.

That's what happened.

Yeah.

That's awful.

I mean, we were just there,

like, the day before yesterday.

We have been planning this for,

like, five-and-a-half months!

Does he not even know

it's a different island?

What did your dad say?

I mean, do they know who did

it? Do they know anything?

He says that they're

looking for two people.

A man and a woman.

That's all I got.

It's like that movie, huh?

Natural Born Killers.

Oh, my God, that movie,

like, totally freaked me out.

When his head was doing

that thing... Majorly.

Well, what do you think?

I mean,

it was Oahu, not here.

Well, speak now or

forever hold your peace.

Well, hey, I mean,

it's our honeymoon, right?

Why don't you guys

come with us?

We're going all the way to Kalalau

Beach, all the way to the end.

Wait, you guys are,

like, newlyweds?

Yeah.

Have a swell honeymoon.

Wait!

Stop! Don't make me run.

You guys are such cowards.

Well, I exit here. Be safe.

Some hard yards ahead.

Are you... Are you

camping over at Secret Falls?

I read all about it

in the guidebook.

Yeah, just for the day.

I had to run back to the

truck for a little butane.

Well, how close is it?

Well, it's like

everything else in Hawaii.

It's as close

as far away gets.

Baby.

What?

It sounds so romantic.

Yeah, but I'd like to get

to the beach by sunset.

But it's only like, what, like, a

mile or something? It's, like, nothing.

Honey, come on. Maybe we

should give the man his privacy.

Don't matter to me.

Plenty of Eden to go around.

What?

Nothing.

One mile?

One. Serious?

Yeah.

Cool!

Hey, wait up!

Wow!

Well, I do believe

she's clotheless.

Hey, there.

I do believe he is, too.

This is Gina!

Did he mention

Gina before?

Crazy-ass love of

my crazy-ass life!

He has now.

Okay. So, they're,

like, a couple?

Y'all coming in or what?

Baby, are we

going in or not?

Yeah, in a minute. Let me see

if I can get some reception.

Okay.

That's nice.

I hope we're not intruding

on your private paradise here.

Forget it, Nicko's always

bringing home strays.

Mrs. Cydney Anderson.

We're newlyweds.

Miss Gina Struggs.

We're not.

You are so dead.

Okay.

Here we go. Come on.

"Thursday on Oahu. Possibly

mainlanders on their honeymoon.

"Teeth and

fingerprints removed.

"Have reason to believe killers

may have jumped islands to Kauai.' '

Are you shitting me?

No, these girls on

the trail told us.

I feel like

maybe we saw someone.

They know who it was

who did the killing?

I don't think so.

"Security cameras

released photo of suspect.' '

You know what I heard? A few

people die out here every year.

They just stand under a waterfall,

get hit by some falling rock.

Or maybe they just slip and

go right on over. Vanish.

Who knows how? Or even why.

Could be the wages of sin.

How you doing, Hot Wheels?

I'm good.

That's two lies in one day. It

comes naturally to you, don't it?

Are you following us, Kale?

You know, it ain't the fact

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