A Prayer for the Dying Page #3

You gonna stick to it?

The confession?

He told me all about it.

He really shut you up, hasn't he?

That's good. That's very good.

How much to put all this right?

Nothing from you.

You turn me down, but you forgive Fallon.

What's so different about him?

Hasn't he told you about all them other

murders in Belfast, Derry and the border?

You won't take my money?

Perhaps you fell for his Irish charm...

...just like your niece did.

I suppose a blind girl

must need a man more than most.

You scum!

No absolution for that, Father.

Not for that.

All right, Mr. Fallon.

Nobody's touched your priest.

I don't do things that way, Martin.

I'm a funeral director.

I bury people, or I burn them.

For me, death is an art form.

You don't believe me?

I'll show you.

"Forgive him whatever sins...

"...he committed through human frailty...

"...through Christ our Lord, Amen."

This is all we come to.

This is our rest-in-peace card...

...for the next of kin.

We keep very careful records of our remains.

Watch it. It's fascinating.

Don't touch Billy again.

And you stay away from the priest.

What do you do all day,

when you're on your own?

It's really pretty.

What's that say?

I love men with tattoos.

Have you got one down here?

I'm staying in tonight.

You can stay with me if you want to.

Want me to stay with you? Please.

Just for a while. Not long.

Maybe some other time.

What's going on here? What are you doing?

Who put you up to this?

Who put you up to this?

Some blokes from the pub over there.

Good evening, Father.

This is a surprise.

You care to join us?

My church has been desecrated.

That's dreadful.

You put them up to it.

Nothing to do with me.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You're lying.

Take him away.

Come along, Father.

What you doing, Father? Praying?

Or puking?

I don't think

you quite know who I am, Father.

- Why do you stay here?

- Why do I stay here?

A 4-year-old daughter, that's why.

I had her when I was 14.

Jack Meehan helped me.

I've been whoring for him ever since.

It's all I know.

I see my little girl whenever I want to.

It's you.

Is Mr. Fallon here?

What do you want?

Message for you from an old comrade.

Hi, Marty.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

You?

I'm okay.

So, how's things going?

You wanted to see me?

Brigade staff wants you back.

- I'm not going back.

- Don't f*** me about, please.

- I'm not f***ing anybody about.

- There's a court of inquiry.

A man in your position

can't just take off without telling nobody.

Martin, I've been sent over here.

I've bollocked about this city for days,

feeling like an idiot.

You're coming back with me.

I said no.

What's got into you?

We've had to cancel every operation

in Belfast over you.

We've had to shift every arms dump

that you knew about.

How the f*** can you stand there...

...and say I'd be a security risk?

I'm not saying that,

but what the f*** am I supposed to think?

Up and leaving like that

without telling anybody.

Thanks for putting me in this predicament.

I'm sent to London

to bring back my best mate...

...or shoot him if he won't come.

I'm not going back.

Tell me, why'd you leave?

Why'd you pack everything in?

Why did I pack everything in?

I don't want to keep waking up...

...every night

hearing the screams of young children.

I lost something a long time ago.

Everything.

Everything got very black, like dried blood.

And something started to stink.

Every day it got worse,

sometimes so bad I couldn't get out of bed.

I sat there in the dark

like a wee scared boy...

...not being able to breathe

or speak my name.

I saw myself lying on the street, dying,

not wanting to die.

Maybe there's something wrong with me.

Always was something wrong with you.

You're only realizing that now?

We all have to live with it.

I can't.

I have a decision to make.

- It's all right.

- It's not all right.

It's all right.

Don't be f***ing stupid.

Come back with me.

It's all right.

Don't do this.

F*** you!

You f***ing bastard.

He's not coming, is he?

You should have shot the bastard.

You're taking a romantic view of him.

I'm only going by my instincts.

I think he's a very gentle,

understanding man.

That man has lived by violence for years.

And what did you live by?

What were you doing when you were away...

...when no one was allowed

to know where you were?

You said you enjoyed the army, the action.

But you became a priest.

You gave it up.

So has Martin Fallon.

- Hasn't he?

- I'm not so sure he has.

Don't you see how alike you two are?

What on earth is that?

Have you something to say?

We are fundamentally alone.

Nothing lasts.

There's no purpose to any of it.

That's a bit of a statement.

Can you explain it to God?

No, Father.

Wrong way around.

Can he explain it to me?

Can he explain...

...my lost faith...

...and how I lost it?

Father...

...I destroyed people.

For what?

For somebody's victory.

Two sides want total victory, Father.

And I took one side.

In war, nobody wants to give

or talk. I didn't.

I destroyed lives.

And now I realize...

...that every time I pulled the trigger...

...I was only destroying myself.

Why should I believe you?

You don't have to.

I don't think I do.

- Why?

- Why?

Because I saw you

with my own eyes kill a man...

...and that wasn't 10 years ago.

I f***ing well had to.

- No, you hadn't.

- I did.

You're a hypocrite.

I am.

Father, whether you believe me or not...

...there's to be no more killing, not by me.

There's nothing worth killing or dying for.

And the real truth is, Father...

...there's nothing worth living for, either.

That's a terrible thing to say!

I want you to stay.

My uncle's at the hospital...

...all night.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

I just wish I could see you.

Who's there?

"Three blind mice

"Three blind mice

"See how they run

"See how they run

"They all ran after the farmer's wife

"who cut off their tails with a carving knife

"Did you ever see such a thing in your life

"As three blind mice?

"Three blind mice"

Don't shut the door on me.

It's dark.

Blind man's bluff.

Where are you?

My little mouse.

It's Billy.

It's nicer with Billy.

Anna, it's all right. It's me.

Anna?

You all right?

Anna, it's okay.

It's okay, Anna.

Did I kill him?

No, Anna. He ran away.

Get some rest now.

Get some rest.

What are you doing here?

What's happened to this door?

Broke.

What do you mean, broke?

What's going on here?

Keep your voice down, Father.

Anna's had a bad night.

An intruder broke into the house.

- Is she all right?

- She's asleep.

Don't disturb her.

Don't play games with her.

I don't play games...

...even when I was a kid.

I know why you keep coming here.

And you know, too, don't you?

Martin...

...I've been exactly where you are now.

You've made the choice.

You turned your back on the horror.

And who's going to forgive you?

Believe me,

you cannot live without forgiveness.

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