A Simple Plan

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1

Hey, Tom.

Remember we talked about

me getting off early today?

Family obligation

Man:
Hey, Hank!

Hey, Happy New Year,

Schmitt!

Hey, Linda,

happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Hey, where you

guys going?

Sledding! Sledding!

Hey, can I come?

No! No!

Ohh... please!

Ohh!

Hey, Carl.

Hey, happy

new year, Hank.

You gotta start charging

people for that.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, it'd pay better

than the county does.

Honey, it's me.

How you feelin'

today?

Hey. Good.

Oh, my gosh.

He was sure kickin'

a lot today.

Uh-oh...

Looks like it's gonna be

a long afternoon for you.

He brought Lou along.

Oh, great.

Yeah. I'll just be

lyin' here, relaxing.

Oh...

Ha ha ha!

Hey, Jacob!

What's he

doing here?

He needed

a ride home.

Little out of

the way, isn't it?

We can drop him off

when we're done.

You know? It's

no big deal, Hank.

What's the big deal,

Hank?

Hey, you know, you need

to shovel this sh*t

Off of your, uh...

Whatchacallit deal there.

I'll pay you

a quarter to do it.

Huh!

I could use it.

Ha ha!

Look at Lou.

Here, hold this,

will you?

Wanna put it

back there?

No, no,

it's gonna wilt.

Hank,

say hi to-

You didn't say hi

to Mary Beth.

Oh, yeah.

Hi, Mary Beth.

He said hi,

Mary Beth.

Hank said hi.

Hi, Lou.

Come here.

Somebody else

was here.

Oh, I brought those.

When?

Well... what the hell

do you think, Hank?

This is the only day

we can come here?

What the hell's

wrong with you?

Hey, Jacob!

Look!

I'm writing

my name!

Hang on a second!

Let me get mrs. Johnson

out here!

I'll help you out.

Lou:
You know what

the guy says?

Jacob:
Says it's

the crock pot-

Or, uh, crock box?

No, no.

Pay attention now-

Oh, no, that's

the preacher, see?

This is the cowboy.

Yeah.

He says "moo. "

No, no. It's the guy

standing by the road.

He says, "Why, officer,

it's just a pineapple."

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha!

You get it?

Yeah.

Well, Mr. Accountant

doesn't get it.

Ha ha ha ha...

Look out!

Sh*t!

You OK, baby?

Go on, get out!

Look at that,

man!

My truck.

Come on, get out.

Mary Beth!

She's gonna

come back.

Hey, what

are you doing?

It's a nature preserve.

You know that.

So what?

So you can't

hunt here.

Come on, put

the gun back.

But it-but it

messed up my truck.

So what?

Come on.

Hey, hey, Hank...

It's not like

we're huntin' here.

Uh-uh. We're

collectin' the dead.

That's right.

We're collecting

the dead.

Just look

at him...

He runs like

my wife.

Hey, come on,

wait up!

Come on, I'm not dressed

for this sh*t!

Mary Beth!

Jesus! Look at

all them birds.

Those things are always

waitin' on something to die

So they can eat it,

right?

What a weird job.

Wish we had

something to drink.

Always

be prepared.

Oh, that's

a good idea.

Let's all start

drinking now.

See there?

See how he is?

Wonk! Dit-dit...

Like that guy, huh?

Remember?

Wonk! Dit-dit.

Uh-huh.

You want some?

I'm not thirsty.

What, you

don't drink

Till after 5:
00?

After 5:
00,

heh heh.

Or maybe you just

don't wanna share.

You're afraid you'll

catch something

From us, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, Hank.

Hey! Come on,

what are you doing?

Quit jackin' around.

Now, you see...

That's what

you might call

An insinuating

throw. Remember?

You said that to me

last time I saw you.

Coulda just said

"hint," but no.

You had

to put on airs,

Show us all them

fancy words you know.

What, do you sit around,

you think about this stuff?

When was that,

2 months ago?

Kiss my ass.

What the hell

is it?

Jesus Christ.

Sh*t,

that's a airplane.

Jacob:

you know what,

It's probably one of

those drunk doctors.

They're always crashing

their plane, you know?

Lou:
Yeah, it must've

come down right there.

See all them

broken trees, Jake?

It's too dark.

I can't see.

Scrape some of that snow

off the windshield.

Lou:
... can't see

a damn thing.

Door's stuck.

Jacob:
Probably

a singer or something.

Lou:
Still can't see

nothin' here.

Still can't see

anything.

Can't see

a damn thing.

I see the pilot!

What's he

talking about?

Said somebody's

in there.

Are you OK?

Hey. Hey, buddy...

Aah! Whoaaa...

Ah! Aah! Aah!

Hey, get-get off!

Lou:
What the hell

is going on..?

Aah! Ohh!

Oh, God!

Sh*t!

Hey, lemme

outta here.

Good grief, Hank.

Let me get this

off of him. Here...

Hank, did you-

did you-

Did you see-did you

see all them birds?

Did I see the birds?

Come on, help me

get outta here.

Hank, put that

on your eye.

Thanks.

You tore your coat,

you know.

Oh, my God...

Oh, my God!

Look at this!

Sh*t!

Oh, my God!

How much you think

is in here?

God almighty!

These are $100 bills!

The whole bag's

full of 'em!

Is this-is it

ha ha! Real money, Lou?

Oh, hell, yes,

it's real.

Don't be stupid.

Why would somebody

be flying around

With this kind

of cash?

You know what? I bet

it's drug money.

That's probably

I bet you're what it is. Right.

This guy's

a dope dealer

Because that's

what they do.

They fly around in

these little planes.

I guaran-damn- tee you.

This is dirty money.

That's right.

I saw it

on 20/20.

"dirty money"?

What do you mean?

Are you telling me

it's counterfeit?

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

No, this

is real.

Whatever it is,

it's a police matter now.

What do you think

we should do?

Somebody should

stay here,

Somebody should go

after the cops?

How you wanna

what? Work it?

Let's think

this through.

What?

Hold on!

What if we didn't

turn it in?

You wanna keep it?

Ha ha ha!

He wants to keep it.

Well,

that's a hot one.

Why wouldn't we?

Why wouldn't we?

Yeah.

Because we'd go

to prison. Why?

Why? Because

it's stealing.

Stealing.

Stealing from who?

From him? Hell,

he won't mind.

Heh heh...

Oh, 'cause he's

dead, right? Ha ha ha!

Ha ha! That's

pretty funny-

He's dead.

He won't mind.

I say we take this bag

back to the truck,

And we pretend like

we were never here.

F*** yeah.

Why not?

Why not? Because

we'd get caught.

Aw, hell! I'll

tell you what.

Stay the hell

out of it then.

You know, we

don't need you.

It'd just be more

money for us.

Hey, I don't wanna stump you

another fancy word, Lou,

But does the term "accomplice"

mean anything to you?

Come on. That's stupid.

But, Hank, why

would we get caught?

Because it's a lot

of money.

Somebody's bound

to be looking for it.

When they find

that plane

And the money's

not in it,

They'll come

bullshit! Looking for us. Bullshit!

This is

dirty money!

And as far as that

guy's concerned,

The cops don't even

know he exists.

Nobody knows

about this...

But us.

See there?

Nobody knows

but us.

It's like we came

out here on a hike,

And found lost treasure.

Right?

It's the American dream

in a goddamn gym bag.

He-he just wants

to walk away from it.

You work for

the American dream.

You don't steal it.

Then this is

even better.

If this guy's

a dope dealer,

Then-like we're

talkin' about-

Then that means we're

like Robin Hood.

Oh, yeah, and I'll

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