A Simple Plan Page #2

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tell you what.

You got a beautiful

wife at home.

You're about

to have a baby.

I know you ain't

pullin' down that much

At the feed mill.

Wouldn't you love to

have a piece of this?

Hell, yes, I would,

but we can't just take it.

Hey, what if

there's a reward?

Maybe there's a reward,

and they'll give-

Maybe there's not!

How about this.

I tell you what.

I'll bet you

$10,000-

Just one of

these packets-

That when they

find this plane,

There's no mention

of this money.

Hank, why-

why turn it in

Until we know

whether or not

Somebody's

lookin' for it?

That's right.

If you scratch,

then don't-don't itch.

If you-if it's-

If it's broken,

don't fix it. Right?

Or if you-if-if-

if the-if-if-if-

And I know

what you mean.

Suppose I was

the one to keep it?

For how long?

Just till spring,

till they find the plane.

Then what?

Then, if you're right and

nobody mentions the money,

We split it up,

and we all leave town.

Why should you

get to hold it?

That's the only way

I'll do it.

Otherwise we can just

turn it in right now.

So, what, you mean-

you-you-

You don't trust us?

Is that what you mean?

That's a lot of money.

I guess I don't.

Look, no-no promises.

If somebody comes searching

For the money,

I'll burn it.

I'll burn it,

listen, and that's it. Hank...

No. That's the only way

I'll do this!

Look, we gotta be

agreed on this.

That's the deal.

That's the deal.

I hold onto it, we wait

till they find the plane.

If nobody mentions it,

We split it up,

and we move away.

OK?

I'm in.

We count it

first.

That's probably

a good idea.

I mean, you know...

Heh heh heh...

Heh heh...

Heh heh...

This is nuts.

Oh, my God...

Hey, what you gonna

buy, Jakey boy?

I'm gonna buy me

a truck.

No. F*** that.

Get something

classy.

Trans-am.

Oh, yeah, in my wildest

f***in' dreams, a Trans-am.

You could buy a fleet

of Trans-ams.

Mary Beth!

Mary Beth!

Where the hell

have you been?

Where you

been, huh?

There's shoes

for baby, ha ha!

Lou:
... 4,350,000,

4,360,000...

4,370,000...

4,380,000...

4,390,000...

$4,400,000!

Isn't that great?

Listen to that.

Look at that sh*t, man.

Look how square it is.

That is cool, huh?

How much is that

apiece?

About a million

and a...

A million

and what? Shh!

A million and

a half? What?

Shh! You

hear that?

Uh-uh.

Oh, sh*t.

Get in the truck.

I'll handle this.

Sh*t.

Go on!

Hank:
Let's go!

Come on, cover up

the money!

Jake, get

in the truck!

Dummy up.

Let's go!

Come on!

Hey, Carl.

Engine trouble,

Hank?

Oh, I wish.

Dog trouble.

Jacob's mutt chased

a fox into the woods.

She tree it?

We thought so, but just

when we went after it,

She came running back.

Ah.

What'd you do

to your head there?

Oh. God, uh...

Heh. Ran into

a tree branch.

Your brother

still out of work?

Yeah.

Lou?

Yeah, him, too.

That's a shame,

ain't it?

Well, we probably better

be heading back-

Hey, hello, Jacob!

Hey, Carl,

how you doin'?

Good, good.

I was beginning

to think

You were trying

to avoid me.

I'm sorry?

Well, you sittin'

over there in that truck.

I thought you was

trying to avoid me.

No. Just sittin'

in the truck.

It's a little cold

out here, you know.

Just keepin' warm.

Well, we probably

better be-

Did you tell him

about the plane?

It sou-sounded

like a plane.

What plane?

What, you heard

a plane?

Uh... I don't know

what he heard.

You know he's always

hearing sh*t.

Maybe you better

tell me, Jacob.

No, that's OK.

We're gonna

get on home.

All right.

All right.

Come on, man.

It's new year's!

Let's get outta here.

Jacob:

call me, Carl.

Happy new year.

Sure you don't

need any help?

No, we're all set.

Thanks.

All right.

goddamn it!

I've seen you do some

pretty stupid things, Jacob,

But that pretty much

takes the cake!

It was my idea.

Oh, well, that's

brilliant, Lou.

Now when they find

the plane,

And they realize

the money's gone,

They'll know right off

who took it.

Well, that's-

That's what's cool

about it, though.

I mean, we wouldn't

tell somebody

If we were the ones

that did it.

It's not like he said

That you actually saw

a plane going down.

Just you thought you

might've heard one

With engine trouble.

You want me to

burn the money?!

I am not going

to prison over this!

If it looks like there's

even the slightest chance

Of us getting caught,

I swear to God,

it's all gonna vanish!

You understand?

"it was a pineapple."

Hee hee hee hee hee...

Oh, God...

This is gonna be fun.

Woman:
Where the hell

have you been?!

You come when

I'm always finished.

I'm finished,

you a**hole!

Hey, Nancy!

Don't-

Don't hit-

Don't hit

Mary Beth.

Remember,

nobody knows about this.

That includes Nancy.

She'll have to find out

about it sooner or later.

She'll wonder where all

the money's coming from.

2 hours late!

Ow! Stop it!

Tell her when we decide

it's safe to keep it,

But not before then.

Then the same goes

for Sarah.

Of course.

Damn it!

Nancy:
Come on!

You promised to

shovel the walk,

You lazy son

of a b*tch!

Calm down, baby.

I got a good reason

for being late. What?

See you, Lou!

You know, I bet

he's telling her.

That guy can't

keep a secret.

Hey, honey.

Hey.

Where you been?

I was starting to get

worried about you.

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, that's all right.

Hey.

What happened to your head?

It's OK. It's

just a scratch.

It's all bloody.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, sure.

What if you were

walking in the woods-

It's not deep.

And you found

a bag full of money,

Let's say $4 million...

Would you keep it?

Of course not.

Here, hold that.

How come?

Well, for starters,

it'd be stealing.

We were talking about

lost money here,

Nobody's looking for it.

$4 million

of lost money...

Yeah.

That nobody's

yeah. Looking for?

Well, so then

whose money is it?

Yours.

Oh.

Ooh.

It's my money?

But whose money

was it before?

A bank robber's.

So then it's

the bank's money.

All right, it's, uh,

A drug dealer's.

It was-

Hank.

I mean, this is

really silly.

Obviously you want me to say

something in particular.

I don't know what it is,

But you want me

to agree with you

Or say that you're right

or something.

But I wouldn't take it.

That's just me. I wouldn't.

It's real.

If we keep it,

we never have to worry

About money again.

But we don't have to worry

about money now, Hank.

You've got a good job.

We don't need it.

Yeah, but nobody gets

hurt by us keeping it.

I mean, that's

what makes it a crime,

Doesn't it?

Somebody getting hurt?

What makes it

a crime

Is that it's

against the law.

It doesn't matter if

somebody gets hurt

Or if they don't.

If you get caught,

you go to jail.

Nobody's

gonna get caught.

The money's the only evidence

That we've done anything wrong.

We sit on it,

we see what happens.

If somebody comes

searching for it,

Then we just burn it

and that will be that.

There's no risk.

We'll always be

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