A Slight Case of Murder Page #3

one of our most successful alumnus...

visit us

and extend to one of the students...

an invitation to spend the summer

with him...

at his charming summer home

in Saratoga.

Before selecting

this very fortunate student...

I know we will appreciate a few words

from Mr. Marco on the subject of success.

- Mr. Marco.

- All right.

Well...

Well...

Now, look here, you mugs...

I mean, you guys.

I get a little nervous, you know.

I'm your pal, see.

I'm for you 100%, understand?

Now, look,

does that make any difference to me?

I got lots of it, see,

but does it make any difference with me?

Not on your tintype.

Success didn't turn my hair.

And that's the way I want

it should be with you.

Never treat a sucker like so much dirt

when he's down.

Play ball with him, and you'll find...

you'll always get a little better edge

in the end.

And I'm telling you guys...

when you leave this joint,

keep your chin up.

Of course, it's a smart thing to keep

your left shoulder up along with it, too.

But whatever you do,

don't go in for nothing shady.

Don't be a chiseler or a gyp or a gumshoe.

Now, stay kosher, keep your nose clean...

and remember,

you'll always come out on top...

with honesty, industry,

and a good hard right to the button.

All right?

Will the following students

kindly step forward.

Pierre O'Ratigan, Boyce Fitch Ginsberg...

Payson Piedmont Camel...

Luther Percy.

These are the honor students

for the year, Mr. Marco.

They had the highest records...

in deportment, studies,

and personal hygiene...

and are all eligible to accept

your lovely invitation to spend a month...

in the beautiful environment

of your charming home.

All perfect little gentlemen.

Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.

Now, look, there'll be lots of people

coming up here...

that are a cinch

to take any one of these kids.

I don't want the best. I want the worst.

You know, some little mug

that nobody else wants.

I want to give him a chance, see.

That's right. Now, give me the ugliest

and toughest little gazabo you've got.

I want to mold him, see.

Well, surely, Mr. Marco,

you don't really want the worst?

Yeah, that's right. I want the worst.

Now, trot him out here,

and let me give him a gander.

Very well. Pedro, you take

three of the other older boys...

go down to the cellar, unlock Douglas,

and bring him to my office.

Come on, gang.

Thank you very much.

Take it easy, will you?

This, Mr. Marco,

is Douglas Fairbanks Rosenbloom.

Well, how are you, old-timer?

How'd you like to come up

to my joint in Saratoga, huh?

Can I smoke?

I'm sure, Douglas, Mr. Marco

doesn't approve of little boys smoking.

Oh, an old-fashioned sucker, huh?

You'll like it up there. How's about it, kid?

I ain't so sure about that.

But anyway,

I'll go up and give your joint the once-over.

That's fine.

I think we better start shoving off.

It's getting kind of...

That's funny. My watch.

Douglas, hold out your hands.

Open them.

Oh, Douglas, you hadn't ought to do that.

That's liable to hurt people's feelings.

It's going to mean everything

to a boy like Douglas...

to spend a month

in the atmosphere of your lovely home.

Goodbye, Douglas. Be a good boy

for kind Mr. And Mrs. Marco.

Tell the old lady

to change her needle, will you?

Well, goodbye, Mrs. Cagle.

Keep up the good work.

Come on, Douglas.

Hey, got a match?

You hadn't ought to do that, Douglas.

That's bad for the wind.

I take notice it ain't hurt yours none.

Well, I wouldn't do it just the same.

Come on, Douglas.

Now, Douglas, this is Mrs. Marco

and my daughter, Mary.

And here, folks,

we have Douglas Fairbanks Rosenbloom.

You talk like you're announcing a bout.

- Hello, Douglas.

- Hiya, toots.

Hey, does the old dame

live in the house, too?

Certainly. Why?

Call some of the older boys,

and tell them to put me back in the cellar.

Here, now, wait a minute.

Oh, boy, you certainly

got a great sense of humor.

You know, that's what I like in a kid.

Great stuff, isn't he?

Hey, Mike.

Mike, take Douglas

in the front seat with you.

I can let down the trunk rack just as easy.

He's a great kid. You'll enjoy him.

All right, Mike, let's go.

Well, Dad, how do you like it?

Well, I find it a bit difficult

to get used to the idea...

of a Whitewood as a policeman.

Well, not exactly a policeman, Dad.

State trooper.

Yeah. Of course, I don't wish

to underestimate the importance...

of any law-enforcing agency,

particularly in these troubled times.

But I rather thought

some more dignified occupation...

Oh, I couldn't bear the thought

of sitting in an office all day long.

Boy, wait till Mary sees me

in this uniform.

She'll get a real kick out of it.

You'll love Mary, Dad.

I hope so.

And what about her family?

Have you looked into their background?

We're bound to like them.

After all, they produced Mary.

You'll see them tonight.

They're on their way up to Saratoga now.

I'm looking forward to it.

Well, I'm going up now and arrange things.

Maybe I can pick up their car

on the road and surprise Mary.

See you later, Dad.

So, Little Red Riding Hood

grabs herself a basket of chow...

and hotfoots it to her grandmother's.

But the wolf,

who was hanging around for no good...

gets a load of her

trotting through the woods and tails her.

But he gets to the grandmother's first.

The old bag of bones has took a powder,

so he grabs one of her bonnets...

and puts it on and gets into bed

and waits for Little Red Riding Hood...

with a look on his pan like a hungry tramp

taking a hinge at a lunch room.

Now, there's something for you, huh?

Now, look at the way

Mike is handling Douglas.

You know, I always said that Mike

should have got married and had children.

He's a family man from the heels up.

That's what I've been telling Mary.

I think every girl should meet

some nice fellow and get married...

or something.

What?

What, do you mean to tell me

that Mike and Mary...

Mike? Don't be silly, Remy. How could I?

Well, I feel better.

You had me scared for a minute.

Mike's a nice fellow, all right,

but it ain't that, you know.

He ain't for you. You know,

you're different. You're Marco's daughter.

What you need is a guy with culture,

education, good breeding.

You know,

somebody that can talk our language.

- Look, Remy.

- Yeah?

There's something

I've been dying to tell you.

You see, while I was in Paris, at school...

Mike, step on it.

There's a piece of the law tailing us.

But, Nora, we haven't been

exceeding the speed limit.

Well, if we ain't, we're going to now.

I hate to have a cop within a mile of me.

They make me sick.

- Mike, give it all you've got.

- Okay.

I'll call you. What you got, Dutch?

Full house.

Kings and Johns.

That's a fin you owe me.

- Any sign of them yet?

- If there was, I'd tell you.

What's the matter? Still sore?

Certainly, I'm sore.

We ought to lam out of here

with that 500 G's.

Come up here to take care of Remy,

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