A Song Is Born Page #6

And when two hearts beat in time

Bluebells began to chime

That's how a song was born

They took a beat and made it reet

They took a beat

and brought it down to Basin Street

Now we got it jumpin'

Satchmo, get on that horn

Let's hear, let's hear

Let's hear how jazz was born

One, two, three, four.

They took a reet jungle beat

Brought it to Basin Street

And that's how jazz was born

And then someone played a waiI

All up and down the scale

And that's how jazz was born

They simply played what they liked

As long as it would fit

If it just had a beat

That was it

And when a horn gave a scream

They took it as a theme

And that's how jazz was born

Blow it, Professor.

- Hiya, kids.

- The expert is here.

We need you.

- Yes, very much.

- What's the trouble?

We've been listening to the music

from across the hall.

- It's very nice.

- They've been having jam sessions.

- A jam session.

- It sounds like a lot of fun.

- We'd like to try it.

- Why don't you?

We don't know how to begin.

They don't seem to have

any kind of set form.

Well, you're right there.

That's exactly what a jam session is.

The first thing you want to do

is let a little light in here.

Okay, kids, now all kind of gather around,

and we'll get into it.

A jam session is taking a little tune

you all know and doing things with it.

- Doing things?

- Sort of kicking it around like...

Well, what music do you know?

- You mean jump?

- Jive?

- Swing?

- Blues?

Rebop.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Miss Honey, these are

two good friends of ours.

- We're the window washers.

- We're the window washers.

- He's Buck.

- And that's Bubbles.

- Hi.

- We're about to have a little jam session.

Would you care to join us?

- We sure would.

- We sure would.

Okay. Let's get back.

Now, where were we?

- We were talking about jump.

- Jive.

- Swing.

- Well, then you kids know all that.

No, we don't know any

of that kind of music.

- They taught us those words.

- Well, that makes it kind of tough.

Now, what do you know?

- Well, we know Beethoven.

- Bizet.

- Wagner.

- Brahms.

Don't you know anything

lighter than that?

- Symphonies.

- Concertos.

- Operas.

- Operas?

- Oh, yes.

- We know all of them.

Well, this will be a new kind of jam

session, a long-haired one.

- Can you sing?

- No. No.

I'm afraid we don't know the words

to the operas.

- We're more interested in music.

- Any words will do.

You got a newspaper, or a time-table

or something?

Sure, he's got something.

- How will this be?

- What have you got there, Bubbles?

This is fine.

But we've gotta do a little rehearsing.

Now, this is what I want you to do.

You're to sing the words

from the piece I give you.

- Here is yours.

- Thank you.

Here is yours.

Just sing whatever you read.

Totten Musical Encyclopedia,

long-haired jam session.

- All ready, kids?

- Yes, yes, indeed.

Okay, let's go. Now watch it.

Daily racing form selections

Post positions and the odds

Weather raining, and it's muddy

and the track is very slow

I think I like Sad Sack

It says he worked a mile in 1.:57 flat

Too bad he scratched

Oh, why did poor old Sad Sack have to go

- Why did poor old Sad Sack

- Why did poor old Sad Sack

- Have to go get scratched

- Have to go get scratched

They're off!

Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup, yap yap

Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup, yap yap

Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup, yap yap

- Who's ahead? Who's ahead?

- Gallorett's in front

- By a nose

- By a neck

By half a length

Man O' War's at the clubhouse turn

Flying Schmo's last

Forty lengths behind

- Run, run, run, run

- Run, run, run, run

- Go, go, go, go

- Go, go, go, go

- Run, run, Honeymoon

- Run, run, Honeymoon

Thank you all very much, gentlemen,

same time tomorrow.

- See you tomorrow.

- Okay, Professor.

- Nice going, Magenbruch.

- Thanks.

That was swell, Mag.

Okay, Fris.

Just listen to that.

Professor Frisbee, either that woman

leaves this house, or I do.

- Are you speaking of Miss Honey?

- I am.

Ever since that woman

crossed this threshold,

a prairie fire of orgiastic events

has swept through this house.

- Frisbee! Are you hurt?

- No, it merely startled me.

- It must have fallen from that shelf.

- Yes.

- I'll put it back.

- It was probably sympathetic vibration

that caused it to fall.

Resonance can be a very powerful thing.

- It has been proved.

- That's true.

Seven trumpets tumbled

down the walls of Jericho.

Caruso shattered a wineglass

by merely singing at it.

- True.

- That's all very interesting gentlemen,

but our whole project seems to be

suffering from some sort of vibration.

- What do you mean?

- I'd like to talk to Miss Honey alone.

- But we were...

- If you don't mind.

Now, Miss Honey.

Would you take this chair, please?

- That particular chair?

- Yes, if you don't mind.

Okay.

Would you open your mouth?

A little wider.

- Thank you.

- Can I close it now?

Oh, please do.

- Miss Honey.

- Yeah.

Circumstances under which, that is, over

which none of us has the least control

force me to a step

I am most reluctant to take.

The sky is perfectly clear,

the thermometer is at 76,

your throat appears quite normal.

I'm afraid I must ask you to leave.

Leave here? Why?

I want you to look at this project,

this history of music, as a voyage,

a long, hard tedious voyage.

And when the Foundation

first launched its vessel,

it wisely followed an old rule of the sea.

No women aboard.

Consequently they chose a crew

of single men

with nothing to distract them

from the course they were about to sail.

Say, Junior, you couldn't stop

walking up and down here?

For the last four days, Miss Honey,

we have been doing nothing

but just drifting.

The needle of the compass

no longer points to the magnetic pole.

It points, if I may say so, to your ankles.

Come now, admiral,

a bunch of grown men.

- They've all seen a pair of ankles before.

- Not in nine years, they haven't.

Except for the singularly uninspired

underpinnings of Miss Bragg.

Well, if you think I'm bothering them,

I'll sit on my legs,

and I'll do it in my room or in the kitchen.

It's too late. You must leave now.

But I can't leave now.

What about your work?

It isn't even finished.

There are a lot of things

we haven't even touched on.

Make no mistake, Miss Honey,

I shall regret deeply the absence

of your keen mind.

But, unfortunately, it's inseparable

from an extremely disturbing body.

All right, I'll go.

Only don't shove.

I'll leave some time tomorrow.

No, not tomorrow. Right away.

- But I tell you I...

- I insist.

- Old crabapple Annie. Listen...

- Crabapple Annie!

Why that implies that I'm puritanical

and narrow-minded.

- Yeah.

- Well, I'm not.

I'm a perfectly normal man

with perfectly normal instincts.

- An awful high boiling point.

- Not even that.

I, too, have been acutely aware

of your presence.

You have?

But fortunately, I'm strong enough to

be able to resist its demoralizing effects.

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