A Taste of Honey Page #5

I don't want anything to eat.

Lm gonna have a baby.

Yes, I thought so.

- You're in a bit of a mess, aren't you?

- Oh, I don't care.

You can get rid of babies

before they're born, you know.

Yes, I know, but I think that's terrible.

- When's it due?

- About November.

- Your mother should know.

- Why?

You'll have to buy clothes,

a cot and a pram...

Oh, shut up! Lm not planning big plans

for this baby or dreaming big dreams.

You know what happens

when you do things like that?

This baby will be born dead or daft or...

You're just feeling a bit depressed, that's all.

You'll be your usual self

once you get used to the idea.

And what is my usual self?

My usual self is a very unusual self,

and don't you forget that, Geoffrey Ingham!

Lm an extraordinary person!

There's only one of me and only one of you!

- We're unique!

- Young!

- Unrivalled!

- Smashing!

We're bloody marvellous!

'Ey, Geoff, it's me half-day.

How would you like to go to the country?

Wonderful! 'Ey, come on!

'Ey, d'you want some chocolate?

'Ey, go on, it's strawberry cream,

you like that.

Here y'are.

'Ey, what would you say

if I started something?

- Eh?

- What would you do if I started something?

- In my condition, probably faint.

- No, I mean after.

- I don't want you, Geoff.

- Well, am I repulsive to you?

You're nothing to me.

Lm everything to meself.

- You need me, Jo.

- Let go, you're hurting me!

- Will you let me kiss you, Jo?

- Oh, leave me alone!

Well, I didn't mean to hurt you, Jo.

I like you, Geoff.

- I like you, but...

- Will you marry me?

Lm not marrying anybody.

Well, just for the baby's sake.

Lm going down to the caves.

When the water reaches the caves,

it deposits lime,

which forms stalactites on the roof,

stalagmites on the floor

and covers the walls all over as it is doing

mostly, as you can see, in this chamber.

The lovely colours are made

by iron and copper staining the lime.

What was he like, Jo?

He wasn't a bit like you.

He could sing and dance.

He was black as coal.

- A black boy?

- From darkest Africa.

- A prince.

- A what?

A prince, son of a chieftain.

- Lll bet he was, too

- Prince Ossini.

D'you love him?

I must've.

- D'you wish he was still here?

- No.

- I hate love.

- Do you, Jo?

Yes, I do.

God, it's hot!

Oh, Jo, stop prowling about.

- I feel so restless.

- Well, sit down or something.

Come on, baby,

let's see what big sister's making for us.

Oh, Jo, put it down,

lve just done all that, get off!

- I feel like throwing myself in the river!

- I wouldn't do that, it's full of rubbish.

Here.

Read this.

When the baby comes,

you won't know one end of it from the other.

"Looking after baby." In't that nice

"Third month."

"Exercises, relaxation."

"Fourth month."

"Constipation."

Drink that and shut up.

- I hate milk.

- Well, get it drunk.

- Does it tell you how to feed babies?

- Even you know that.

I know about that way, breast-feeding.

Lm not having a little animal nibbling at me.

Its cannibalistic.

Stop trying to be inhuman,

it doesn't suit you.

I mean it. I hate motherhood.

Well, you've got it coming to you,

so you might as well make a good job of it.

- Lve got toothache.

- Yes, lve got bloody heartache.

Got any of that toothache cure?

There's only one cure for the toothache

and that's a visit to the dentist.

Oh... Jo!

- How much longer is this going on for?

- What?

- Your present performance.

- You moved in on me, remember?

If you don't like it, get out.

But you wouldn't do that, Geoffrey.

Got no confidence in yourself, have you?

Afraid the girls'll laugh.

- You like babies, don't you, Geoff?

- They're all right.

Would you like to be

the father of my baby, Geoff?

Yes, I would.

I... lm... I feel stifled in here.

- Lm going out.

- Well, lll come with you.

# All she wants is gold and silver

# And a fine young man, you know

# On a hill there lives a lady

# Who she is I do not know...

Can you smell that canal? Its filthy!

- And all those dirty children!

- They can't help getting dirty round here.

Why d'you stay with me, Geoff?

Somebody's got to look after you.

You can't look after yourself, that's obvious.

# All she wants is gold and silver

# And a fine young man, you know

# On a hill there lives a lady

# Who she is I do not know

# All she wants is gold and silver

# And a fine young man, you know

Do you think there's gonna be a storm?

I wouldn't be surprised.

I don't think it's doing you any good

being with me all the time.

I couldn't move away from you now.

You must. We can't be together all the time.

Ld rather be dead than away from you.

You say that as if you mean it.

Well, I do mean it.

Before I knew you I didn't care much

whether I lived or died, y'know.

But then I met you

and, well, being with you's me life.

There's no need for us to split up, is there?

Come on, rain, come on, storm!

Jo?

It kicked me, Geoff.

It kicked me!

- Can I help you, sir?

- Yes, I wanted some information, please.

Well, me wife's going to have a baby

and I wondered if you'd got any leaflets.

- To put me in the picture, like.

- Lm sure we can do something for you.

- When does she expect the baby?

- Not yet. A couple of months.

Well, perhaps she ought to

come down here herself.

She's a little bit shy.

I expect she'll be along later.

Very well. Just a moment, Mrs Walsh.

Will you wait here a second, please?

I think she ought to have this.

She can practise on it.

I suppose she's very young.

Anyway, you can borrow this and let us

have it back when you've done with it.

It comes in very handy if she's dubious

about handling the baby.

There. All right?

Look at that little boy over there.

He's filthy.

And his hair, it's walking away.

She shouldn't be allowed.

- Who?

- His mother.

Think of the harm she does having children.

Look at that.

Its dead.

A bit of love, a bit of lust and there y'are.

We don't ask for life,

we have it thrust upon us.

- Hold me hand, Geoff.

- What?

- Hold me hand!

- Jo!

You've got nice hands.

Hard.

I used to try and hold me mother's hands

but she'd always pull 'em away from me.

- I like you.

- Oh!

- D'you like me more than you don't?

- Now you're being Irish.

Well, a fine Irishwoman you are.

Where did your ancestors fall,

battle of Salford Town Hall?

Me mother's father was Irish.

And she had me by an Irishman.

The village idiot, from what I can make out.

You what?

A frolic in a hayloft one afternoon.

She said he had eyes like me.

- Are you making it up?

- No.

He lived in the twilight land, my daddy.

The land of the daft.

- Did Helen tell you all this?

- Yes.

Yes, I thought so.

She likes to make an effect, that one.

Well, can you see Helen going out

with a real loony?

Oh, thanks, Geoff, you're a cure.

'Ey, lve got something for you.

Well, I got it from the clinic, y'know.

I thought you could practise

a few holds on it.

- The colour's wrong.

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