A Viszkis

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2

THE WHISKEY BANDI ROSES SAVINGS

Good day, ladies and gentlemen!

This is an armed robbery!

Anna! Anna, dear!

Anna, dear!

Just look at this!

Now he's stolen this!

Last week he drank

the communion wine.

Before that he ate all the wafers.

- And now this!

- It won't happen again.

I forbid Attila to

enter the church again.

The boy's got the devil in him.

Are you hungry?

Come on out, Attila!

Go!

Go Whiskey Bandit!

Let me off, Mr Officer.

I didn't mean to break your law.

I feel so sad, ain't got a dime,

I promise I'll repent my crime.

Set me free, just let me go

and I'll be good now!

Let me off, Mr Officer.

No one's perfect, that's for sure.

Maybe one day you might be sad too, some

young girl might make you feel blue.

You can turn to me

and I'll help you out then!

Let me off, Mr Officer.

Come in!

Do come in.

Good morning, Mr Ambrus!

Sir.

The last time we met,

you were rather upset.

Perhaps you don't recall,

my name is Inspector Lszl Bartos.

Sit down.

I'll call you.

Oh, that.

The powers that be even want us

to use computers now.

It's just there gathering dust,

I don't even know how to turn it on.

Me, I think I'll stick to

good old pen and paper.

Part of my job is to understand

and record

how these robberies

actually happened.

Where, when, how, who with.

- You follow me?

- Yes.

According to our information, you

committed 17 robberies in the capital.

Yesterday's was the last.

Banks, post offices.

17 robberies in the past 6 years.

26 robberies in 6 years.

26?

27 attempts, 26 successful.

I'd like you to tell me everything.

Can't you say hello to your father?

Where's Grandma?

I don't have time to look after you.

I've talked to my brother.

Things can't go on like this.

We told your father we'd do

everything we could, and we did.

Considering the situation you're in,

we've found the best possible solution.

There's an academy.

A boarding school.

We insist on...

discipline.

Our pupils do not steal books

from the library.

You are a kleptomaniac.

This is an educational institution,

not a school for thieves.

You are expelled.

REFORMATORY:

FRIEND AND EXAMPLE TO THE YOUTH:

NICOLAE CEAUSESCU

One... Two... Three...

So I should feel sorry for you?

You know how many suspects

I've interviewed?

Each had a childhood sob story.

Abandoned by their mothers,

a**holes for fathers, etc. etc.

A catalogue of tragedies.

I've heard nothing else for 30 years.

No...

Mr Ambrus.

A sob story won't be enough here.

Do you see that stack of files

behind you?

That's you.

That stinking heap of sh*t is all you.

The average case takes up

a couple of files.

Yours towers over me every day.

I've had to move

into a bigger office,

lugging your damn files around.

You know how heavy they are?

- Go on, ask me!

- How heavy are they?

Real f***ing heavy!

But...

All those files aren't as heavy

as this one sheet of paper

that we'll both sign

after the investigation,

and then I'll send you down

for a f***ing long time.

This is the first day of your new lives.

You have proved nothing yet.

Your parents

can't help you here.

From now on, I'm your father.

You are all nothing!

Dogs!

Romania deserves better

than the weeds wilting before me.

Attention!

About-face!

Quick march!

Second squadron, to the targets,

quick march!

Assume position!

Ready your weapons!

Aim... Fire in unison!

Fire!

Hey!

Stop!

Stop or I'll shoot!

Hey, Ambrus!

This one was called Attila, too!

What is it with you Hungarians?

Why are you always trying to escape?

The border-crossing request...

BUDAPES KELETI STATION

Alright, go and stretch your legs.

I'll see you tomorrow.

We're ready, gentlemen!

My wife always tells me we should choose

the right accessories

for how we're dressed.

These look great on you!

Let me know when you're

through warming up.

And shift that street-walking

up to a proper speed.

- That kid's in the office.

- Which kid?

The Transylvanian who called,

said he was a goalie.

Does he have his gear?

Looks like he's only got

what he's wearing.

Give him some skates

and put him on the ice.

Okay.

Why the f*** aren't you in the gym?

I was taking a sh*t, coach!

I'll give you some sh*t!

I fell asleep.

Want me to sh*t on the ice?

You're like a buoy.

I haven't played for a few years.

I couldn't.

But I'll work harder than anyone.

Alright, here's my offer.

Our goalie can't make morning practice

for a while. You can fill in for him.

We can't pay you for playing,

but we need someone

to do maintenance and clean the gear.

The dorm's full, but my family's

got a little place that's empty.

You can crash there

till you find something better.

- Why are you helping me?

- My dad was from Transylvania.

This is just temporary.

F*** it up and it's over.

It would be great

if you learned to skate!

Cut that ice up!

I could throw something at them.

What are you, girls?

In fact I will.

Gotta drink, gotta drink

a little grog!

Gotta drink, gotta drink

a little drug!

You said "drug" again.

- I said "grog".

- Well, you said it wrong.

Why the f*** did you say anything?

- Let's have another!

- Alright!

- Hang on, who's paying?

- You.

Put it on Daddy Zsolti's tab!

I don't care what it is,

I just want it quick.

- Cool haircut. Kinda gay, but cool.

- Whatever...

Thief! I saw you steal it!

What did you say?

I was sitting there,

I saw when you stole it.

- What are you talking about?

- My heart.

You stole my heart.

Hope you have better luck

with that lame line next time.

Listen, you're making a huge mistake.

What do you want?

A million dollars and your phone number.

Well, you have a chance with one.

Play the lottery.

Tell me your name, at least.

Maybe the next time I see you.

End of the line.

Please leave the train.

Nice job!

Oh, it's you?

What a surprise.

Your paper's upside down.

My name's Attila.

Kata.

Hi, Kata.

Can I buy you a drink?

I'm parched.

Oh, that was sweet.

Your little story's very enjoyable.

The tough Romanian childhood.

Sorry, Transylvanian.

The train, the romantic subplot.

It seems that things started

shaping up quite nicely.

New friends, chasing girls,

everything was going swell.

- Swell.

- So? Where did it go wrong?

I'm curious.

Where did all this bullshit begin?

I needed papers so I could get

a good job.

So? You go to a new country,

you get new papers.

To work, you need a permit.

Even those born here need

all sorts of documents.

We all do.

Why was it so tough for you?

You thought the rules

didn't apply to you?

Not again!

ASYLUM AND IMMIGRATION OFFICE

Are you applying for a work permit

or citizenship?

Both.

Then you need to speak

to an immigration official.

Come back in 2 weeks.

Fill those in and bring them back

with all of your Romanian documents.

Translated and certified.

And you'll need a letter of intent

from whoever's going to employ you.

You'll additionally need

a medical certificate

detailing all vaccinations

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