A Walk in My Shoes Page #5

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Big time adrenaline and sadness

all mixed up.

More than that you don't need to know.

Can I read you something?

Yeah.

My dad wrote this to me.

"I'm sorry about

what happened between us.

"I had a lot on my mind when I came home.

"Son, I made a lot of mistakes in my life,

"some of which I'm not that proud of.

"But the best thing

that ever happened to me

"was when I married your mom

and I had you and Mikey.

"You're a great son.

"I'm always proud of you,

even when you don't think I am.

"I have that picture of you

when you were 10

"and playing in your first game.

"I show all the guys.

"I tell them you're going to be a star.

"Someday I'll tell you

what it's like over here. Not now. "

I want to know.

Okay.

Besides being afraid 24/7,

all soldiers think about

and talk about are their families.

That's it.

Getting a letter or an e-mail from home,

a phone call.

So when a soldier gets wounded,

they're dying, you think they're still

thinking about their family?

When a soldier gets wounded,

the only thing he's thinking about

is his family.

Your dad, when he got hurt,

he was thinking about your mom,

your brother and you.

That's all that mattered to him.

Justin! Dinner!

Justin?

Justin!

Hey, hey, hey.

Hi, what's going on?

Jake said that when a soldier is wounded,

all they think about are their families,

their kids.

Yeah. I imagine that's true.

Sure they think about their loved ones...

No, you don't understand.

Tell me, I want to understand. What is it?

The last time Dad came home,

he had only a few days' leave.

And I had this game

that I wanted him to come to really bad,

but he just wanted to sit at home

in the living room.

I got so mad that he wouldn't watch me

that I said I hated him.

Oh, Justin,

I'm sure he knew better. I'm sure he...

No, Mom! Just listen!

I said it. I totally said it, okay. "I hate you!"

I mean...

How could I do that? How could I say that?

And that I held a stupid basketball game

against him.

I held it against him

and then he went back and he died.

And I never got to say I was sorry.

Mom, the last words

that Dad ever heard me say

were, "I hate you. "

Is that what your paper is about?

Yeah.

You need to write it down.

You need to write every word, every feeling,

- everything that's going on.

- I can't.

You need to write it down.

Mom, I tried so hard, I just...

I can't get it out.

It hurts too much, I just... I can't get it out.

You just did. You just did.

- You like?

- You've got to slow down.

The quicker this place is finished,

the quicker we can turn it over.

No, no, no. I told the family next door

they could stay here until I was done.

I'm not done yet.

You will be.

Soon.

So, is Justin going to Formal?

- No.

- Why not?

Tuxedo, corsage, dinner...

No, no, no! You don't need a tuxedo.

Look, it is ballroom dancing, 1940s.

Tell him to stop thinking

like a 16-year-old, okay?

Okay. Okay. Yeah.

- Usual?

- Yeah, thanks.

Hey, about the other night?

- I'm sorry that it was me.

- It's okay, I understand.

And, you know,

I wanted to thank you for the other day,

you know, when you let me

ramble on and on about...

You know...

You have no idea what it meant to me

that you would, you know, just listen.

Any time.

I'm not coming on to you, okay?

I'm happily married, I love my wife.

But there's just something strange, like,

- I don't know, familiar. You know...

- There is. There is.

- You know what I mean?

- I do, I do, I do. I know what you mean.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay, well, I better get back

to chasing the bad guys.

That's good.

Let's see.

Seriously, why am I even in this class?

I don't even get it.

So why are you?

My mother.

She has this idea in her head

that I'm special.

Maybe you are, just not in math.

You know what I'd like to do?

- What?

- Hold this.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Ta-da!

Wow, look at that. That's impressive.

I was thinking maybe, when I go to college,

I'd like to major in dance.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

But, I don't know, it's kind of dumb.

No. No, it's not. It's cool.

Go for it. You know, why not?

Wow! What an engine!

Trans temperature gauge add-ons,

propane injector.

Why would you add

propane to diesel?

It's like NOS to gasoline.

It adds three times more torque.

Wow! You got a turbo-boost chip in here?

Yup, right here.

And this, this little guy

reads your air and your fuel mixture.

And when you plug it in, it takes

your air and your fuel pressure

and it bumps it up 130 horses.

Sweet.

- Hey, Jake?

- Yeah?

- I have this idea.

- What kind of an idea?

What are you doing?

As you can see, Christmas lights.

I don't get it.

Go ahead, tell her, Mikey.

So Dad could see us.

Not bad, huh?

No, it's not bad at all.

Wow, look at you.

It looks fantastic.

- Turn around, let me see the back again.

- All right.

Great.

It really looks great. Fits you like a glove.

- It's cool, Mom. Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Now, if I only knew how to dance.

Come here.

What are you doing?

Come here, put your hand here.

This is how this goes. One hand here.

- Just relax, relax. Loosen up. Loosen up.

- All right.

Find your balance, okay?

And you just sort of go with it.

- Just move. It's like skateboarding.

- Oh, yeah.

And you come around this way a little bit,

and you look in her eyes and smile,

and then you come around

this way a little bit,

and then the music picks up

and you do something fancy,

- and you go out like that.

- Okay, okay, I got it. I got it.

- All right.

- Yes. I'll go.

It's fun, you'll have fun. Good.

Kaylin's got to see this.

So, was it my imagination

or did I see you at the park this afternoon?

Yeah. Yeah, I was tutoring a girl

in calculus, Dana Fahey.

- Oh!

- Old Lady Fahey's kid.

I wouldn't call her that.

- It just might get back to her.

- Whatever. Anyway...

Dana's pretty cool.

She's really cool. And she's smart, too,

just not so much in math, you know?

- More like the artist type.

- Is that so?

Yeah, but you know Old Lady Fahey,

she's just...

Her mother, she's got her

totally stressed out.

And Dana's into pleasing her,

but she's in way over her head.

Hmm.

I mean, you got to be a geek to do

AP in calculus, and trust me, she's no geek.

No, she's not.

- She's not?

- Mom, she's totally amazing.

Wow! Okay, right.

So, how's your paper coming?

Honestly, I could use some help on it.

- All right, this is what I got here.

- Okay.

Okay, good. Good start.

Okay, right here, third paragraph,

you'd just come back from the game

and your dad's on the couch in the dark...

Just write what happens.

Let the reader feel the emotion.

When did you get so good at this stuff?

Do you believe in God?

Of course.

- I don't understand.

- What?

Where was God when my dad died?

Right beside him.

Well, what do you think?

I am so proud of you.

Really?

To write honestly is a gift.

You think Dad would be proud of me?

Yes, I do.

Left in

the district championship,

- Oregon City leads Adams by a pair...

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