A Woman Under the Influence Page #3

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Me? Oh, uh, uh, Morton.

joseph.

- Cheese?

- I'm Mabel.

- How are you?

- All right. How about you?

I'll hold it.

And, uh, uh...

next to you.

- What- What's your name?

-james Turner.

-james Turner.

- I work with Nick.

I'm Mabel Longhetti.

I live with Nick.

[ Man ]

Take that.

And you - handsome.

[ Whistles ]

Yeah. You.

Billy. Billy Tidrow.

- Billy Tidrow.

- Yeah.

- Billy Tidrow.

- Can I have some bread?

- Tidrow.

- Tidrow.

- Tidrow.

- Tidrow. Right.

- Right. Right.

- And they call me Mighty Mouse.

- [ All Laughing ]

- Mickey Mouse.

[ Billy ]

Mighty Mouse.

[ All Laughing ]

Raise 'em.

Here's to everybody.

Welcome. God bless you.

Um, eat a lot and live a long time.

- Hey.

- [ Chattering ]

[ Man Bangs Table ]

To Mabel.

[ All ]

To Mabel!

[ Mouthing Words ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Man ]

Don't worry.

Aren't you gonna ask

where the kids are?

They're at your mother's.

[ Vito ]

How many kids do you have?

- Three.

- [ Vito ] Three.

Isn't that right, Nick?

- As far as I know.

- [ All Chuckling ]

- [ Vito ] I've got seven.

- Seven?

- Seven.

- [ Man ] Seven.!

- Seven kids.

- [ Man ] That's what he said. Seven.

Handsome, how many you have?

Me? I got a bunch of'em.

Let's see.

I got Robert,

I got William.

I got, uh, Mary.

- Um-

- [ Men Laughing ]

I got Pee-Wee.

Um, I left one out.

Pee-Wee's 1 4.

There's one more somewhere.

- Um, I gotjohn.

- [ Man Laughing ]

[ Clancy ] That's a good Irish-Catholic boy, huh?

[ Laughs ]

[ Man ]

He's a good somethin;

[ Nick ] You know, I've been noticing

that the neighborhood has a lot more kids.

Did you notice that?

All up and down the street.

All up and down.

Little kids, baby carriages,

kids crawlin'.

What is that when there's a lot of kids?

Is that in the air?

- It's somewhere.

- Hmm?

I mean, you go eight, nine months,

you don't see a kid.

A couple years pass by, never see a kid.

All of a sudden,

I see a lot of baby carriages, a lot of babies.

- I think it's in the air.

- [ Burps ] Excuse me.

- No, the moon.

- What?

Yeah. Remember when

the two astronauts went up to the moon?

They went and played golf.

They played golf.

So, some of the dust came down.

- ''Stronzium'' or, uh -

- [ All Laughing ]

- Maybe the woman smell that.

- [ All Laughing ]

[ Laughing Continues ]

The moon.

Ah, the moon.

No.

Listen, what I mean is you can go

eight, nine months, you won't see a kid.

- [ Man ] Well, it takes that long.

- No. I never see a kid a couple of years...

all of a sudden I see a lot of baby carriages,

a lot of babies.

[ Billy ]

A couple of'em gotta be mine.

[ Laughter ]

No, I think that's in the air.

- [ Man ] Well, that'll be-

- No, think back nine months ago.

- There has to be some romance going on.

- Oh,yeah.

[ Man #2 ]

I don't know.

- [ Man ] It wasn't me.

- [ Laughing ]

No?

I think it's in the air.

[ Man Chuckling ]

[ All Laughing ]

- [ Man ] Oh, ho, ho, ho.

- [ Man #2 ] ''In the air. '

[ Billy ]

Well, that is where it is.

[ Billy ]

Well, that is where it is.

[ Man ]

Billy, where's that?

[ Men Laughing ]

- [ Man ] How about that, Billy?

- [ Billy ] They was really gettin'down.

[ Gino Singing In Italian ]

[ Man Vocalizing Aria ]

- Bravo! Bravo!

- [ Applause ]

Bravo, Willie!

[ Chattering ]

[ Nick ]

Encore.!

[ Singing ''Celeste Aida'from Aida ]

[ Mouthing Words ]

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Mouthing Words ]

[ Men Chuckling ]

- [ Man ] Bravo.! Bravo.!

- [ Applause ]

Bravo! Bravo!

- Word, word, word.

- [ Mabel ] Okay, okay.

Now a song from you, Billy Tidrow.

No, I can't sing.

I can't sing a note.

Well, come on and dance then.

Anybody can dance.

No, that ain't too cool.

I love this face.

I love that face.

Nick, this is what I call

a really handsome face.

- [ Nick ] That's enough.

- Okay. Come on. Let's dance.

- Nah, nah, nah.

- Look at this muscle.

- That's enough.

- I never saw such muscles.

I bet he doesn't fit in a suit.

- Yeah, I fit.

- Mabel,you had your fun. That's enough.

Come on. Come on.

Let's dance, Aldo.

- Come on.

- All right. Everybody's tired. That's enough.

Come on.

You wanna dance?

- No.

- Um -

- Vito Grimaldi.

- [ Nick Shouts ] Get your ass down.!

[ Phone Rings ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

Hello. Hi, Ma.

Hello, Mama!

No, we're not doing anything.

We're just eating.

What's the matter?

What do you feel?

Where? In your abdomen?

What does that mean?

Did you call a doctor?

Look, Ma.

Don't get stubborn about doctors.

It's my mother.

She's got a pain in her abdomen.

[ Scoffs ]

[ Sputters ]

Hmm. HO3-7399. So call them.

Ma, I can't call them.

What am I gonna tell 'em?

You gotta call 'em. You gotta explain to 'em

where the pain came from.

Ma, did you eat somethin'bad?

You ate fish?

You ate fish in a restaurant.

What restaurant?

You ate fish at Hamburger Heaven.

What did you do that for, Ma?

[ Gino ] Uh, thank you for the dinner, Mabel.

It was very nice.

[ Nick ]

You'rejust like a baby. You know that?

- [ Nick ] Look, I'll be over.

- See you later.

- I'm comin' over. I'll be right over.

- Thanks for everything.

You want Mabel? Huh?

- All right. I'll be over.

- See you later, Nick.

- All right, darling. Comin' over.

- See ya, Mabel.

- Hey, listen.

- See you later, Nick.

- When your mother gets sick, boy...

- Take it easy.

it often comes to mind

they're not gonna last forever.

[ Door Closes ]

[ Mouths Word ]

- [ Mabel Sputters ]

- Yeah. [ Sputters ]

- Right. [ Sputters ]

- I was trying to be nice.

- Wacko!

- I like your friends.

I know it.

I'm a warm person. I was -

- I know that.

- I'm not one of those stiffs that you like...

with their noses up in the air.

Bung, bung.

With their noses up in the air.

Oh, oh, how awfully nice.

Oh. Mmm. Thank you. Oh.

I know how to treat those guys.

I want them to feel-

I love those guys. I love 'em.

I love anybody you bring in the house, Nick.

- I know that!

- I want 'em to feel comfortable.

I want 'em to feel -They just sit there like

a bunch of- I want to -

What in the hell are you talking about?

You didn't do anything wrong.

- It was just the way you was lookin'-

- ''Sit down, Mabel!''

- ''Sit down!''

- Billy was looking at you this way.

- [ Yelling ]

- He don't know you don't do any harm.

It's the way the guy looked at ya.

Here's the guy.

He's looking at you like this.

He don't know what to do.

This monkey don't know what to do.

He thinks you mean somethin'.

He don't know you don't mean it.

I don't mind you being a lunatic.

Nicky.

Not lunatic.

I didn't do anything wrong?

What, Nicky?

Nicky, tell me.just -

Nicky, don't be afraid

to hurt my feelings.

Tell me what you want me to -

how you want me to be.

[ Sputters ]

I can be that.

I can be anything.

You tell me, Nicky.

- [ Opera ]

- [ Man And Woman Singing In Italian ]

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Stops ]

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Pop.

What are you doing here?

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