Aami Page #3

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He often told I was mad"

I don't know what you want

I mean, what is wrong with you?

How are you?

You too!

He didn't back away from the

relationship with his friend

They behaved like lovers,

even in front of me..

Then, I despised my womanhood"

I thought I was losing his love forever..

But...

I was loving him very deeply..

I thought of suicide again"

your life is not to end

like this tonight.

These wounds will heal soon..

Tonight, we'll sit here

gazing at the moon..

Your mind is brimming with poetry now

I will keep you company.

Krishna, will you always

stay with me like this?

Das, you should give her more care

She is very sensitive and emotional.

As she writes and paints,

It is quite natural.

In her mind, reality and

fantasy are mixed up..

For some time, stay

away from this atmosphere"

Then her mind will calm down..

'Rad ha'

'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'

'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'

'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'

'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'

'Wandering in the heat of memories'

'Krishna, she, the ripples

of Yamuna river..'

'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'

'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'

'Lonavala'

22 km

'Like the pupil in the peacock feather eye

Are you too flaring from within Krishna ?'

'Are you too flowing like the music

from the flute of the one

adorned with wild flowers?'

'The one who is pining in love'

'The one who is pining in love

Oh, Radha, you are the forest moonlight.'

'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'

'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'

'The shepherdess searched with her eyes

That dark handsome figure.'

'Dwaraka, dear Dwaraka...'

'Do you know the intoxication

In the heart of the lover?'

The one who follows me in

different forms and guises"

Who was he to me?

In that summer, when

coral flowers burned..

That young man, who put

white flowers on my hairfifl

What is he expecting from me?

Your body too is sacred to me..

In my eyes, you are a goddess

'One brimming with love..'

'Oh Radha, one lashing like a wave

as a water-anklet.)

'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'

'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'

'Wandering in the heat of memories'

'Krishna, she, the ripples

of Yamuna river..'

'Oh, Radha, brimming with love'

'Oh lovelorn Radha of Yadhu'

Why are you not coming to see me?

What happened, Aami?

For my childhood and adolescence

Those nights I slept hugging her close

The cool, soothing touch of her fingers.

If those were not there,

Aami would have been a weakling..

I didn't attend grandma's

funeral ceremonies

From that vacuum, and

from my insanity

What saved me was Carlo's arrival..

What is this, man?

Aami?

I mean, Kamala?

Kamala Das?

Do you recognize me?

Your dearest pen friend Carlo.

Carlo is son of an

Italian millionaire

He used to write to me

constantly that he loved me

Ayoung man who was a little mad

He came to know of Indian

culture from my letters

He came to India to

do research on it..

Who is Carlo to you, Kamala?

He tells his friends and parents

That I'm his fianc\/..

He wants me to leave my husband and kids

And go with him..

I didn't say anything, Krishna"

Do you love him?

Love is like the sea"

It always rushes towards the shore..

I am transferred to Calcutta"

I'm coming with you.

You go back to Italy.

And marry another girl

No! Never!

I can't do that.

I don't know why"

Suddenly I felt bored with Carlo"

I wanted him to leave the

country at the earliest".

Please let me go, Carlo.

I'll catch fever if I get wet!

You must get fever and

you must die of fever.

So, you abandoned Carlo?

Your loves AI are they

mere infatuations?

As you wish..

My dear Krishna,

will you abandon me?

Am I not always with you?

Then, why did you abandon Radha then

And go to Mathura?

That abandoned soul of Radha

Is there inside every woman"

A time when those dark clouds

drifted away from my mind..

I took good care of my husband"

I don't remember my mother

showing affection to me

But I loved my children a lot..

'Oh dear bird crooning from Ilanji tree

Oh, blue bird,'

'I feel your heart throbs

And the warmth in your bosom..'

'In the Neermathalam blossom

When time dropped like dew'

'The butter one relished by oneself

Like Neelambari '

In the next two years, I wrote a lot

Including the story 'The Smell of a Bird'

That made me famous

With the publication of 'Summer

in Calcutta', my fame increased

A lot of admirers came in search of me..

It was in a hospital in Kozhikode,

when my father was working

in Mathrubhumi newspaper

That my third son was born..

During monsoon, when my mind was calm

On a night lashed with heavy rain..

My son Jayasurya came

to give me company..

Having come to Bombay,

how can I leave without meeting you?

Yes

The 23rd issue will come out this week..

All because of the popularity

of your 'My Story'

Who writes so openly about private life!

Krish nan Nair, the critic wrote thus.

Yes..He also wrote once that I was insane..

I don't like the smell of cigarettes

Each man has his own

smell, isn't it?

When each issue comes out

Readers are anxious to know

who your next lover is..

The readers or you?

Your beauty overwhelms your writing..

You have such charm"

'My Story' - I am stopping it..

Kamala, I know you

are not serious..

I am serious!

The readers only want to know

how many lovers Madhavikkutty has!

If you want your name too

to be included in the list,

Forget it!

Look!

When My Story got discontinued for a week,

A flood of letters from the readers!

Shall I speak to her'?

If she wants to

stop, let it be..

Let her not think she

can overpower us!

Start serializing it!

Let her have her fill..

Why did you stop your 'My

Story' all of a sudden?

I felt really sad"

You disappointed

so many readers"

I won't read that weekly

without 'My Story',

I felt so sad"

I don't even get sleep at night.

It had affected my life so deeply..

I am a boy of 18 years

One night, lying on my bed,

I was reading your book 'My Story'

Unexpectedly my father entered..

Seeing me reading your book, he got wild

Saying you are an immoral

person, a libertine,

And a witch out to spoil the youth,

He forcibly took away

the book from me..

Some days later, when

Iwent to his room

I saw him reading your book!

The moment he knew I saw him

My father, the big moralist,

was embarrassed..

Maybe due to false pride

or unable to face me

The next day, my father committed suicide

When I saw my mother weeping, without a

clue as to why he died, I despised you..

I am writing this letter

with all that despise..

Take it easy, Aami.

It was his fate" what can we do about it?

Madhavikutty, the writer is

a woman with strong will..

And look at you! What is this?

You write what you feel like..

The readers are fools..

You don't care about that.

When I say I am the husband of Kamaladas

who wrote Summer in Calcutta & The Sirens,

The North Indians here respect me a Iotfifl

lam proud of you,Aami..

For what?

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