Abandoned Page #4

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bloody knife and now the rod.

- How bloody thick are you?

- I'm sorry. Okay?

No, not okay. It's everything else

about you. You're a greedy, farting pig!

Look at your head, mate. You

look like you've been in a fight.

When're you going to learn

how low the f***ing roof is?

I... I just wanna go home. I want my Karen.

Phil, it's okay... it's okay.

Hey, guys. Check this out.

Something I've been working on.

It's a collection system for water.

These are PVC pipes. I've got heaps

of them in the starboard pontoon.

What do you think?

I don't see how you... how

are you gonna cut the pipes?

Exactly. Look. How about...

Why don't we use the surface

of the hull as a catchment.

And we put wood along here and over here...

with drain holes here and here.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, good on ya, mate. Hey,

now you're pulling your weight. Eh?

Yeah. So, have we got any wood?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC FADES UP)

- Cheers, mate.

- Yeah.

JOHN (V.O.):
You can survive a long time

without food, but not without water.

Over the weeks, we'd reduced

our rations to little more...

than two ounces of

liquid each, per day.

This better bloody work.

JOHN (V.O.):
But now the

precious water was almost gone.

We were beyond thirst... suffering

the onset of dehydration.

- Rick.

- What's that?

A boat!

[JOHN] It's a yacht.

The beacon! Quick, get the beacon!

Come on! Come on! Quick. Yeah.

Guys! Guys! Guys! It's too far out.

They'll never see it. They'll never see it!

Fuel... generator fuel!

Oh, good on you, mate. Brilliant.

[RICK] Okay, stand back.

Here, chuck it on.

Come on... come on... come on!

Forget it. She's gone.

[JOHN] Yeah, a yacht like that

shouldn't be out here. It's a sign.

Yeah, a sign we're not as close

to South America as you thought.

No, it's a sign from

God. We're gonna be okay.

Enough! Okay? No more! You're

giving me a f***ing headache!

Everything in life happens for a reason.

That yacht is a sign,

we willed her to appear.

Yeah, just like you willed that storm

to appear, eh? You're a f***ing wanker!

God only knows what you

know. Don't you know that?

Everything comes from

within. Don't fight it.

One more word... I swear one more

word and I will f***ing gag you!

Rick, Rick, Rick. Rick.

Yeah, thank you, God, for bringing us

this far and thank you for what is to come.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): There is still

no contact with the missing crew...

of the Rose Noelle, which left Picton on

June the 6th with four local men on board.

The tri-maran was expected to arrive

in Tonga by the middle of the month.

It is now six weeks overdue.

Following an unsuccessful search by

RNZAF Orion, pressure is now mounting...

for a second search, despite the already

considerable expenditure of public money.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

That's it.

(RAIN FALLING)

It's raining! Water! It's raining!

Get the bottles!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

The bottles! Go, go, go!

Oh, thank you, thank you, God!

40 days in the desert... thank you.

Woo! Look at this!

Ah! Woo-hoo!

Thank you, god!

Good work... woo!

They're alive. They're on their way.

Home?

Does Rick have a white cable-knit jersey?

No.

Hm, I see him in one...

very nice, and gumboots...

- on an island.

- Which island?

I've asked the guides, but they won't

tell me... the name is two words.

Five letters and seven letters.

Rick's guide is here with us now.

He's standing right behind you.

He's telling us they're safe.

Rick, Rick, come here,

come here! Rick! Come.

Ssh, fish.

Oh... come to Papa.

Oh, thanks to you there's no rod, no

bloody way of catching the bastard.

Come on, Harry. Come on. Come on.

Bugger. Nah, he'll be back.

Yeah. Don't worry. He'll be back.

I think I've got something.

- Oh, that's perfect.

- Yeah.

- And this?

- Okay.

Are we good?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're good.

We're good. That's all we need.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, Harry's back! Quick,

ssh! Get the net. Get the net.

He's down there by the table.

Come on, Harry.

Slowly, mate. Slowly.

Come on, Harry. Come on.

Steady, Jim.

He's got 'im! He's got 'im!

I got him! I got him!

I got him! I'll take it.

- Jesus Christ.

- Take it.

Let me have him!

Harry, you beautiful,

beautiful, beautiful...

Oh, oh, my god.

Oh, Harry, you're a top fish...

and I just hope that you have

lots of mates just like you.

No fish in the sea, eh, John?

There will be now. They'll be

coming for the barnacles in the hull.

When are you gonna check

those gas tanks, John?

There's no telling how far they've corroded.

One mistake could blow us all to bits.

Come on. Let's just

appreciate what we've got.

[JOHN] We don't give thanks enough.

Thank you, God, for sending us Harry.

And please help John find his inner what have

you, so that we can use the bloody gas tanks.

Amen.

Amen.

JOHN (V.O.):
Harry's friends

had begun to appear in numbers.

After two and a half months at sea, the

Rose Noelle had become a floating reef.

Our menu was expanding, barnacles, seaweed

and kingfish... plenty of kingfish.

Oi, imagine that fried.

I'm not gonna give up

on the gas tanks, John.

You find them... or I will.

You wouldn't like that.

I might hurt your precious bloody boat.

All right! All right!

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, Jim! Turn it on.

(GAS HISSING)

Gas coming.

Shouldn't you be on your

knees, John? Praying?

Oh, here we go. All right.

Easy.

Try 'em. One, two, three.

You call those even?

Yeah, who's gonna get the big one?

They're all roughly the same size.

Pig's ass.

It's your birthday

tomorrow. Am I right, Rick?

You'll get first choice.

Don't worry, Phil. You

can have the biggest, mate.

Cheers.

Bloody beautiful.

Hollow victory, isn't it?

Could've had this months ago.

[RICK] He knew exactly

where those tanks were.

We didn't have to wait all this

time to have hot, bloody food.

We had to fight for everything. It's

like we're not suffering enough for him.

That's true, mate. It's true.

Every idea we have he scoffs at. He uses

knowledge of the boat to hold the power over us.

Hey, the most important thing is

we've got gas now and hot food.

How good's that?

You're even starting to

sound like him. Bloody wanker.

What the hell's wrong with you? He's the

one that got this whole thing rigged up.

But just... just be thankful.

F*** you! Hey, why are you defending him now, eh?

Sad sh*t, p*ssy-whipped f***ing yank!

Hey! Hey!

Guys! Jesus.

Oi.

JOHN (V.O.):
Despite our

improving situation...

Rick's moods were becoming

darker, more erratic.

Not even Jim was safe

from his fits of temper.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Look.

Look at the breast meat on him.

- Roast chicken.

- Let's get him.

Yes!

(ALBATROSS SCREECHING)

He's got him! I got him! I got him!

Come. Come on.

Albatross burritos and

tomato puree... delicious.

You are a bloody artist, Jim.

[PHIL] What's supposed to

happen if you kill an albatross?

[JOHN] The Ancient Mariner was

doomed to wander the oceans forever.

The Ancient Mariner didn't fry

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