Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man

Year:
1951
208 Views


All hail beloved

alma mater

Steadfast and loyal

we will be

This is the greatest thing that ever

happened to me. How did I ever graduate?

I slipped the guy 20 bucks.

Now, keep quiet.

...detective training

And now we graduate

from Dugan's

Experts in criminology

And since they say

that crime won't pay

We will fight crime

with good old

D.D.T.

Men, I have taught you

all I know.

You've studied hard and

learned well, most of you.

You have earned the Dugan

Detective Training diploma.

And the D.D.T. diploma

on an office wall...

means a steady

stream of clients.

Bud Alexander.

In accordance with my agreement

with the students who graduate...

you'll receive a trial with

a recognized detective agency.

Report to the MacQuillan

Agency in the Fort building.

Give him this card. Thank you.

Louis Francis.

Thank you.

Thank you!

You've been seeing too many

Sherlock Holmes pictures lately.

Take off

that cap.!

A detective has to dress so

he won't attract much attention.

Put that down,

that is not a lollipop.!

Turn on the

police calls.

Hurry up, it might

tip us off to something.

I'm glad MacQuillan

gave us the night shift.

Maybe we can grab a case

and solve it ourselves.

We get a tip on a bank robbery,

better yet, a murder...

and we follow the murderer

to his hideout. Yeah.

We go to his hideout and

we start searching the place.

Remember, death lurks

in every corner.

And suddenly,

the murderer comes in.

Fellas interested in a case? A case?

A case of what? Shh, quiet!

You want us to handle a case!

Which one of you is MacQuillan? I am. I am.

Who's who? He's Mac, I'm Quillan.

Just call us Bud and Lou.

Attention.

Be on the lookout for

Tommy Nelson, escaped murderer.

He is 5'11", weighs 165,

blue eyes, brown hair.

When last seen, was wearing

dark felt hat, overcoat...

Nelson? Isn't that

the middleweight...

who killed his manager after his

last fight? That's what they said.

If we weren't taking your case,

I'd grab that murderer.

I don't think you have to

look very far. Keep quiet!

blue eyes, sandy hair.

Put down...

turned-up collar and soft hat.

Quiet, the man

wants a telephone.

If that ain't Tommy Nelson,

it's Frankenstein.

Frankenstein!

Hello, Helen,

is anyone around?

Good.

I must see the doctor at once.

I'll be right over.

There's money in this for you. How much?

Plenty. Take me

to 823 Maple St...

and I'll tell you

all about it. Let's go.

That's him.

Who?

Tommy Nelson. I'd love

to get my hands on him.

Come on,

let's go.

I can't see a thing. Turn it around!

Bud, I-I-look!

What?

It's only a moth.

Come on!

Tommy, I've been

so worried.

I want to see the

doctor right away.

Fellas, wait the in library.

I'll be right back.

Excuse me.

She called him Tommy. That's

Tommy Nelson, the escaped killer.

Stop jumping

at conclusions.

What would an escaped killer

want private detectives for?

So he can catch himself? So... Oh, come on!

Tommy,

is this wise?

The police know

about you and Helen.

This is the first place

they'll look.

Those men you brought with you...

It was my only way of getting here.

Can you trust them? If you'd brought the

serum, I wouldn't need to trust anybody.

What did happen?

Did you make up your minds that

I killed O'Hara? That's not fair.

Uncle Phil's been working on the

formula. You told me you had it developed.

I do, my boy.

You can see for yourself...

Pripitane serum was discovered

years ago and it works.

One injection, and the cell

structure becomes transparent.

What are you

waiting for?

Jab me with one of those and

the police will never catch me.

I'll be free to find out

who really killed O'Hara.

And inside of a week,

you'd be a raving maniac...

just like its discoverer,

John Griffin. No.

I've got to take

that chance.

Do you want to go insane,

as John Griffin did?

Shot down like a mad dog

as he was?

He never regained his visibility

until he was dead.

When he willed

me this formula...

I swore I'd never use it until

I'd found some safe reagent...

some means of

bringing a man back...

avoiding insanity,

perhaps restoring visibility.

Doc, unless I clear myself,

it means "the chair. "

So what difference

does it make?

Come on, that's a boy!

You can make it.

Did you see that?

What happened?

The halfback just ran around

his own end. Some trick.

We interrupt our program to

give you a police bulletin.

Have you seen this man? He's

Tommy Nelson, escaped murderer.

There's a $5,000 reward. If you

have any information, phone...

What number?

Rlver-8-1-8-1.

Thank you. You're right,

this guy is the killer.

Let's get outta here. No,

we've got a great case.

We'll grab the murderer and get

the reward. We can't do that.

This guy hired you and I...

Nevertheless, he's a rat.

Because he killed his manager? Because he

didn't tell us there was a reward for him.

I'm sorry, Tommy,

I can't do it.

It's the police. Let's

sneak out the back way.

Good, let's go.

Wait.

We're detectives.

What am I running for?

Am I a crook? You want me to answer that?

It's the police. Stall them off and

I'll try to get out the back way.

All right, men,

take your positions.

It's a legal search

warrant. But it's ridiculous.

I've been ridiculous

before, beautiful.

Roy, you and I'll

take the upstairs.

Joe, you cover the back.

Eddie, you stay right here.

We've got to catch Nelson

before the cops do...

and collect

that reward.

I'll watch in the hall and you watch

here. You ain't gonna do that to me.

You watch here and I'll

watch in the hall. Okay.

That's the same thing! Shh.

We've got him.

He can't get away.

Look.

N-N-Now...

Bud.! Bud.!

Don't worry,

he can't get out.

Neither can I!

Bud!

Mr. Nelson,

I don't want the reward.

I'm for you.

Let's shake hands on it.

Atta boy.

Ha, ha, ha!

Ha, ha, ha!

Don't forget,

we get the reward.

My pal's got him covered.

That boy is always on his toes.

Well,

where is he?

Always on his toes,

huh? Lou, snap out of it.

Come on, boy. I'll give

him a whiff of this.

Oh, Bud, I want

to tell you something.

Here's Bud.

Hi-ya, Bud.

Where did Tommy Nelson go? He disappeared.

How did he get out? In installments.

Installments? Yeah, he

did a Gypsy Rose Lee.

That... That's all

that's left of him.

Evidently Nelson

changed clothes.

What was he wearing the

last time you saw him?

Air.

Nothin' but air.

And then he asked me

how he looked.

Wearing air? What

are you talkin'about?

He was standing right here

and then I shook hands with him.

His hand was gone.

I went to speak to him,

his head was gone.

He took off his shirt,

his body was gone.

He took off his pants,

his legs were gone.

Then he spoke to me,

I was gone.

This guy's a psycho

if I've ever seen one.

Would you mind coming

to the police station...

and telling a real nice man

just what you told us?

Don't you believe what I saw? Sure I do.

Things like this happen every day. They do?

Where have I been? I don't

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Hugh Wedlock Jr.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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