Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy Page #4

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Before dawn.

Meet me at the Cafe Bagdad.

I will take two men

to help us.

Take the one

who has the medallion.

And if anything should happen to the

x-ray, you can still get the medallion.

Professor, you're a man

after my own heart.

How true.

Good night, Madame.

Josef.

He will lead us

to the treasure.

You and Charlie follow,

but keep out of sight.

How much of a cut

does he get?

He's leaving that

to my generosity.

If he is a professor,

he has a lot to learn.

Semu approaches.

Warn our people.

We shall make camp here.

This is the first step.

Do you wish to continue?

The reward is great enough

for me to take the gamble.

However, if you are afraid

of the curse of Klaris...

you can go back to town. If I

were afraid, I would not be here.

But a legend that has lasted over

4,000 years must have some truth.

My dear Professor, some of the men

I have met have acted like mummies...

and others have certainly acted

like they were 4,000 years old.

But I have never met one

I was afraid of.

So why should I fear Klaris?

It is said that Klaris

never died.

That he still lives

and breathes.

Kept alive over the centuries

by his followers...

so that he may guard the tomb

of Princess Ara and her treasure.

Surely, you're not trying to

frighten me. I am only warning you.

Now I must see if this place

is as deserted as it appears.

After you've finished unloading,

pitch the tent over there.

What's the matter with you?

She's pretty.

Who? That horse. That's

a pretty white horse.

Unload the stuff.

Followers of Klaris...

my search has ended.

I have brought back the one

who has the sacred medallion.

And when we find the treasure, we'll

melt down the gold and recut the jewels.

And that mummy of Klaris,

it might be worth something...

if we could smuggle it

out of the country.

Whatever we find, we take.

The only thing we'll leave

behind will be the professor.

What about those two idiots?

They, too, are expendable.

Two more infidels

have arrived.

So, two more mice come to

nibble at the golden cheese.

When will they die?

After the feast of Klaris.

Prepare for the celebration.

All right. Pitch the tent.

All right, Lou, here.

Put your stakes here. Lou!

Lou!

Abbott, is that you?

I will lead the infidels

to the worship room.

When the celebration of Klaris is

ended, their lives will end with it.

And so will the threat to

the treasure of Princess Ara.

You're always...

Hey, Bud, hey, Bud, it's in

there. I saw it. The mummy.

We better tell Miss Rontru

and the professor.

Wait a minute.

Why tell them?

If we find the mummy, we'll

make a fortune. Where is it?

It's in there.

Where will we find the mummy?

Don't worry, the mummy

will find you. Where is it?

Inside, in the hole in the rock.

Where's the hole in the rock?

Here. There was a hole

in the rock.

Where? There's no hole

in the rock!

Hey, there was!

Now this is no time to laugh.

This is serious.

Where's the hole in the rock?

Here, give me a boot.

I'll be, hey!

Look! Come on, follow me.

I have to get back before the

professor suspects something.

Was it wise to leave him

out of your sight?

Well, what did you expect

me to do? Bring him here?

This wouldn't be a bad place

to get rid of him.

I'll make the decisions. You just

make sure you keep out of sight.

And then he came out of here,

and then he tried to choke me.

You mean, the mummy is alive? Yeah.

Well, a live mummy is worth

more to us than a dead mummy.

I'll tell you what to do. You

sit here, I'll sit over there...

and when the mummy comes out,

and goes to choke you...

I'll whistle like this.

Then you grab him.

How are you gonna whistle?

I'll whistle like this.

Never mind. Just a minute.

I'll tell you what you do.

I'll sit over there,

you sit over here.

When the mummy comes out

to grab you, I'll...

Like this, and you grab him.

Mummy, you can come out now.

What are you whistling for? I'm

the one that's supposed to whistle.

Hey, Abbott,

where are you going?

Have you seen the professor?

The professor is not a professor.

He's right in there

with the whole gang.

And he's gonna kill us, right

after the celebration of Klaris.

No wonder he had no trouble

finding this place.

Charlie! Josef!

Where did they come from?

We've been double-crossed. Semu is

the leader of the followers of Klaris.

He brought me here

to kill me.

So we kill him,

before he kills you.

Then we steal Klaris

and get the treasure.

Take these tools. Go behind

those rocks and dig a hole.

Somebody's gonna

get buried.

You fellows stand on

either side of that opening.

The professor has

a surprise coming.

Lou, this looks like

a soft spot to dig.

Here, I'll help you. Give

me one of those implements.

Here, take your pick.

There.

Wait. Hold it, that's a shovel.

Here's the pick over here.

Well, I picked the shovel.

The shovel is my pick.

No, this is a pick.

This is a shovel.

That is what I picked,

is the shovel.

How can the shovel

be the pick?

Look, if I had wanted a pick,

I would've picked the pick.

But instead, I picked the shovel,

because the shovel is my pick.

In other words, you don't want to pick

the pick, because the pick is a pick...

and a shovel isn't the pick

of your pick, the pick...

the pick, the shovel

isn't the pick.

Now you've got it. Now I

got it. I don't even know...

what I'm talking about.

You still don't understand, do you? No.

Here, look.

Now you take your pick.

There you are.

Now the pick is your pick!

Let's try it again now. Now,

come on, you take your pick.

You took the shovel!

Here's the pick, over here!

All right, please.

Come on, dig a hole here.

We're in enough trouble

as it is, Lou.

Now dig your hole there.

You know, if we try to escape,

we'll get lost on this desert.

And if we stay here, we'll possibly

wind up in that hole, instead of Semu.

I don't know what to do.

Something's got to be done.

You can...

Hey, a midget mummy!

Go away!

So, Lou. After all,

there's an old saying:

If you can't beat them,

join them.

That's what we'll do. We'll

strike a bargain with Semu.

After all, you've got the medallion.

You got nothing to worry...

Sure.

Leaves me here

to do all the work.

You don't care who does it

or how it's done.

What have you found out, Professor?

Follow me and I will show you.

So you know who I am.

Killing me will be of no avail.

You cannot escape my followers.

You're right. So we'll

hold you as the hostage.

Then we'll have something

to bargain with.

Hey, let's get out of here.

Yeah.

Will you stop playing around? If we

get caught in here, we'll be killed.

Can't make that.

There must be another exit.

What's that?

Either Semu has changed plans,

or something has happened.

We must search

until we find him.

It stopped.

I wonder where it came from?

Here's an exit.

Come on, Lou.

Abbott!

Charlie, you look like

the real thing.

Josef, go get Klaris. We'll dump him

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