Abducted: The Carlina White Story Page #12

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In fact, there was very

little communication.

Wow, it's like

I found her and, um,

but she's still lost.

It's eatin' Joy up inside

to know that her

daughter is alive,

and her daughter's

not with her.

Her daughter's turnin' back to

the people that's kidnapped her.

When people all

of a sudden are found,

then there's this great,

uh, brouhaha,

and excitement

and celebration,

there's sort of like

a halo effect that takes place,

and you believe everything's

gonna be great from now on,

but these are very difficult,

complicated issues.

They're not easily resolved.

Dr. Geoffrey Greif

has interviewed

many people who were

abducted as children,

and followed them

as they became adults.

He says the division

between Carlina and her

birth parents is typical.

There were a lot of people

I've interviewed

who did not know that they'd

even been kidnapped.

That would cause you to question

the previous 15 or 20 years

of your life,

because you don't know

what to believe anymore

when something that significant

has been told to you

that's not true.

For the birth parents,

there is a different set

of issues to reconcile.

All of the sudden,

they've received the child

back in their life,

and they are apt to treat

the child

as if the child was still

very young.

They have to step back

a long ways

and try and realize

who this person is now

and try and construct

a meaningful relationship

based on who the person is now,

not who they wish

the person could've been

had they raised her.

Joy White said that was

just what she wanted to do.

I was havin' trouble

when it first happened,

but I had to sit down

and I had to analyze everything

and now I feel really bad.

I feel sorry for her.

I feel bad for her,

because I know that she's going

through something emotion,

because I am too.

I'm her mother, and I'm going

through somethin' right now.

But building a relationship

would mean

accepting that her daughter

was still loyal

to the Pettway family.

I'm-a have a relationship

with that family,

and if y'all want

a relationship with me

y'all have to be

able to accept

that I'm still going to be

affiliated with that family.

I look at it as I should

be free to be able...

to speak to who I want

to speak to,

to consider who I want

to be my aunt,

want to be my uncle,

my cousins and my friends.

Even her name was an issue.

Legally, she was

changing it to Carlina,

but she said she

would always be Netty.

Nejdra and Carlina is like

in between two families,

so one side know Nejdra,

the other side

know Carlina.

So Netty is just me.

Go ahead, girl.

She was receiving help

from psychologists

at the National Center for

Missing and Exploited Children.

Netty is really a good person...

really a caring person

who is in the middle,

uh, of a... of a storm.

I mean, she goes from being

the mom of a 5-year-old

with questions about her history

to being in the center

of a media frenzy,

with everybody wanting

a piece of her

and everybody wanting

to talk to her

and use her

and manipulate her.

And she needs some time,

and some space,

and the ability to sort

through all of this.

We're trying to help her

do that.

I think that, um, one

day, she'll come along,

and she'll understand

what her real mother

is goin' through.

Carlina, listen.

You know your mother

and father love you.

We had a happy beginnin',

and we can still

make this happy.

We all want to see you.

You don't know how much love

you have from all of us.

Through it all,

the young woman who found

out she was Carlina White

said she was glad she did.

I look at every day

as a better day

for me to just wake up

and acknowledge

that I do know who I am.

I know who my parents are.

I'm good at just knowin' that.

And she, too,

hoped that someday,

she would share her life

with that family as well.

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