Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

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Negative. No sign.

Wait a second. I think I got him.

You know...

...you could put somebody's eye out

with that thing.

We airlifted out the last passengers,

Ace. We're heading out.

What about the animal cargo?!

Don't worry. It's just one little

raccoon. If I were you, I'd turn back.

If you were me, then I'd be you!

And I'd use your body to get to the top!

You can't stop me,

no matter who you are!

Loser!

L-o-o...

...s-e-r.

Hungry, fella?

That should hold you for a while.

That's okay, Spike.

There's nothing more we can do.

Look, Spike!

Do not fret, my woodland friend.

Your life is in the hands

of Ace Ventura...

...Pet Detective.

Whatever you do...

...don't look down.

Hang on!

Hang on, little buddy!

I got you!

I think I got you!

Maybe not.

You're slipping!

Don't let go!

My goodness.

Hello.

That was quite a shock.

It's extremely nice to meet you.

My name is Fulton Greenwall...

...and I am looking for an Ace Ventura.

No man here...

...carries with him...

...a label.

What?

Oh, yes.

No names. How silly of me.

He's an American.

We are all children...

...of the same life force.

Yes, of course we are.

He bends over and speaks from his rear.

Oh, him.

Right this way.

He came to us a broken man.

He had lost the will

to sustain his existence.

Yes, I heard about that unfortunate

accident with the raccoon.

It was terrible for him.

But the life force...

...once again...

...smiled upon him.

He's now...

...at peace.

I will wait here.

I must apologize.

Quite. Well, no harm done.

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Fulton Greenwall,

and I'm here to employ your services...

...in the retrieval of a lost animal.

Can you help us?

Your request is like your intestine.

Stinky...

...and dangerous.

We can pay handsomely.

I am now a child of light.

Your earthly money

holds no appeal to me.

Twenty thousand dollars.

Really?

No.

I cannot.

For I am sorely needed...

...here...

...at the ashram.

May I interject?

We're short of space.

And it's important for you

to use your talents.

Let me help you pack.

But I have yet to attain

omnipresent super-galactic oneness.

Wait!

There it is!

You've just attained it.

I have?

Just now.

You are one!

I can see it in your eyes.

You're more one than anyone.

What about my medallion

of spiritual accomplishment?

Take mine.

This took you 80 years to achieve!

That's okay.

I don't like it anymore. Really.

In light of this personal sacrifice

you've made...

...I have no choice...

...but to take the case.

Great!

I'll tell the others.

Master!

Break it to them gently.

I've never seen them

act like that before.

Denial can be an ugly thing.

We should go, Mr. Ventura.

I've arranged a plane.

I'll meet you at the bottom.

There's still one more thing

I must do before I go.

Isn't this incredible?

It's going to be some kind of record!

"Everyone loves a Slinky

"You got to get a Slinky."

Go, Slinky, go!

Oh, man!

Can you believe it?

It was right there!

Can I do it one more time?

Forgive me, but if we don't hurry,

we might miss the plane.

Of course.

How selfish of me.

Let's do all the things

that you want to do.

Canadian moose during mating season.

And now...

...a yak.

Peanut?

Yes, I have one right here!

It's bulky,

but I consider it a carry-on.

Peanuts?

Oh, I see!

If we can get back to business,

Mr. Ventura?

The Wachati are a peaceful tribe.

Since their sacred animal

has vanished...

...they believe that there is a curse

fallen on their village.

It all started some time ago when,

one night...

So, the daughter of the Wachati chief...

...is set to wed the first son of

the Wachootoo tribe.

And the sacred animal was offered

as dowry for the marriage.

But...

...if it is not recovered...

...the result will be...

...the merciless slaughter of

the Wachatis.

Mr. Ventura?

There's...

...someone on the wing.

Some...

...thing!

I'm sorry, what did you say?

The daughter of the Wachati chief...

...is set to wed...

...the first son of the Wachootoo tribe.

Spectacular!

This land holds great beauty!

How far to the crime scene?

I've been instructed

to bring you first to the consulate...

...which is beyond the trees...

...on the other side of the jungle.

So, you'll have to circle around...

Steering's a bit loose!

Alignment's off!

"Oh, pretty Chitty Bang Bang

"We love you

"And our pretty Chitty Chitty

Bang Bang loves us, too

"On Chitty Chitty Bang Bang we depend

"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,

our fine four-fendered friend."

There's the consulate!

Oh, thank God!

If I can just find a parking spot...

Perhaps we should slow down

just a teensy bit.

Nonsense, poopy pants!

We're going a bit fast!

Really!

Look out!

Like a glove!

You should get this baby detailed.

The Consul General's car!

Down!

That's it. Down.

Come on, man!

Mr. Ventura, so looking forward

to your arrival.

Funny, it didn't seem that painful

when you were doing it to the horse.

Sir...

...Mr. Ventura has

an affinity for animals.

Shall we?

Shalln't we?

Tell me, Mr. Ventura...

...just how good are you?

You're an extreme workaholic.

You recently returned from a trip

to Gotan, in Northern Africa...

...and you just took a nasty spill

because of some...

...shoddy masonry work.

Very impressive.

May I ask how?

Surely.

The abrasion on your hand is the type

sustained in a three-to-five foot fall.

The remnants of plaster on your shoe

pointed to a careless mason.

Your new watch, a quality

forgery of Cartier, was...

...most likely purchased through

the North African black market!

And my work habits?

A workaholic.

The urine stain on your pants...

...would signify that

you're a single-shaker!

Far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.

Brilliant, Mr. Ventura!

Simply brilliant!

Spank you!

Spank you very much!

We've been coexisting quite nicely

with the native cultures...

...for the past 200 years. They're

almost like family at this point.

Are they?

It is imperative that we recover

the sacred animal.

If not, the peaceable

Wachatis will be obliterated.

The Wachootoos are bloodthirsty.

They consider its disappearance

both an insult and a curse.

Do I have something in my teeth?

Cadby!

Lovely brunch, I must say.

Quinn!

I'd like you to meet Ace Ventura.

This is Burton Quinn. He owns

and operates Quinnland Safari Park.

Most call me Quinn.

Say hello, Tinky.

Pleasure, Tinky.

Corvus corax. Common raven.

Smartest of all birds.

Rare in these parts.

Excuse me.

That's quite a wrap you're wearing.

Perhaps I could get you

some fluffy new slippers...

...made from the heads of

innocent and defenseless baby seals!

Who is this ghastly man?

Ace Ventura, pet detective.

You must be...

...the Monopoly Guy!

Thanks for the free parking.

Another activist, Maguire.

Activist, yes.

Activist, yes.

Mr. Ventura...

...there's nothing wrong with

enjoying the fruits of nature.

You should try it some time.

All righty, then.

You know something?

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