Addicted to Love Page #2

...so you might as well start packing|your bags.

That is the most pathetic thing|I've ever heard.

I don't mean that trivially.

I'm a photographer.|I've seen a lot of things.

I once took pictures|of a man who ate his own legs...

...and you would be the black sheep|of that family.

What's your evil plan?|Squirt him with squirt guns?

Throw rotten strawberries at him?

You looked in my satchel?

Yeah. Call a cop.

You are a strange, tragic little man.

Say what you want.|Linda and I are in love.

Except for her boning my boyfriend...

...you guys are the perfect couple.

Listen, Catwoman, at the end of the day...

...she is coming back to me,|and we're going to be happy.

And where are you going to be?

All alone somewhere,|hatching some little revenge scheme.

Let me tell you something, Sam.

Listen very carefully. Are you listening?

The only way that girl|is coming back to you...

...is if a blast of semen catapults her...

...across the street|and through the window.

I want you out.

Not going to happen.

I was here first.

Put me down for half the rent|and get out of my face.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Why not?

You paid for it.

You stole my money.

You took everything I had to buy this crap?

That was everything you had?

What the hell is that for, anyway?

It's pretty, Sam.

There we go.

You can hear them?

Are they talking?

What about?

You wouldn't be interested.

Let me hear.

It's wrong, Sam.

Just for a second.

I just want to hear her sweet voice.

Beg me.

Please.

Excuse me. Did you say something?

Please let me hear.

Oh, my God.

He's killing her.

He's killing her, all right...

...and she's loving every minute of it.

She's not like that.

She likes to make love quiet|and slow and gentle.

That girl of yours is a carnival ride.

This is horrible.

This is worse than I'd imagined.

Want me to turn it off?

No. I need to hear it.

How very brave.

He's making love to her in French.

You know, Sam,|French men are very small.

But not this guy.

It's like Godzilla's tail.

He could take down Tokyo with that thing.

This has got to be|the longest orgasm I've heard.

You want your charts?

You enjoy making me suffer.

Help me get him, Sam.

Take the road less traveled.

It'll make all the difference.

Forget it.

I will not get sucked into your nightmare.

Whatever.

I think I can get this in stereo.

Welcome to New York, spy-boy.

Slim Jim?

Let's see what Ken and Barbie|are having tonight.

Squab.

He marinates it for half a day|in a lemon-wine sauce...

...and he braises it with sugar.

Please be quiet. I have to concentrate.

It's happening tonight.

Smells delicious.

I'll tell you a secret.

It's not my recipe.

I met an old man, and he said...

...only prepare it for the woman you love.

Later I found out he made it|for a party he catered.

Five hundred people.|He's just bursting with love.

You should go to his restaurant sometime.

Good food, good people.

Wait. Take the spoon like this.

Just let her eat it, you maggot!

It's the best thing I've ever eaten.

Will you shut up?

I love to watch you eat.

She hates having people watch her eat.

He's going down in flames.

Here it comes.

Oh, you know,|I heard the most amusing story.

There is this... What are they called?

Sheep.

Yeah. A breed of goats.

And when they hear a sharp sound,|they fall over.

A sharp sound?

Yeah. Anything.

You clap your hands, and they fall over.

That's my story.

They pass out|When they hear a sharp sound.

It's true.

They just fall over on the ground.

That's my kiss.

That's my...

Oh, not the food.

I'll do it.

I'll do whatever you want.

This has to stop.

I don't care about right or wrong anymore.

This must stop.

All you gotta do is nudge him.

Just graze him like that.

Sorry.

You're sorry?|You should be goddamned sorry.

You think you can trample|a person and say you're sorry?

Well, you can't.

You can't trample on somebody's|life and say, "I'm sorry. "

There ought to be|something more you can say...

...When you walk all over somebody.

And you're throwing food everywhere!

I think we took a detour|from the plan there.

I really hit him, didn't I?

You smacked him one, all right!

How'd it feel?

Great!

What is your plan?|What do you want to do?

I just want his dignity, that's all.

I want him penniless, hopeless,|loveless, finished off.

I just wish him very, very ill.

How ill are we talking here?

I'm not saying I want him dead.

But, should that occur,|people die all the time.

Why should he be any different?

Just thinking on my feet, though.

I don't have to decide|the death part right now.

I can wait and see how I feel...

...once his dignity's a thing of the past.

Am I boring you?

Thank you, Anton.

Maybe I shouldn't have hit him.

He's just in love.

He's just in love, the same as me.

Define love.

Why?

Because every other word|out of you mouth is "love. "

I'd like to know what it is...

...this magical ideal of yours. Define it.

Well, it's like, I don't know.

It's like all your life you walk around...

...With this feeling of emptiness|in your stomach.

You feel completely hollow.

And when you're in love, you feel...

...not hollow.

It's like without it, there's nothing.

A shell. A cavernous emptiness.

Forget it. You can't define it.

When I was a kid, my father had this dog.

It started to get weak and sickly|so he took it to the vet.

The doctor examines it and says...

...a maggot must've laid eggs|in the dog's butt.

He says there's not much they can do.

The baby maggots have crawled up|and started to grow...

...and eventually they're going to eat|the dog alive from the inside out.

He says it should be put to sleep|because it's an old dog, anyway.

But Father won't do it.

He takes it home.

He puts it on the bed.

He starts to reach up into the dog...

...picking out the maggots with his fingers,|one by one.

It takes him all night,|but he gets every last one.

That dog outlived my father.

That's love, Sam.

You're not that tough, Maggie.

I can tell you're not that tough.

And you can forget|about a career with Hallmark.

Won't he miss the card?

He won't know what hit him|till the bill comes...

...'cause he only uses his platinum.

I'll just take everything in this whole area.

You know Anton's having an affair?

He is?

That's what Linda's going to think.

Where are you sending them?

To my Nana.

The old battle-ax|should get a kick out of this.

How much to put lipstick on the monkey?

Is that for you or for him?

I don't touch the monkey.

I don't want to have anything|to do with the monkey.

How's 40?

For 50 I'd strap on a garter|and wax her legs.

Lovely lipstick, darling.

Honey, you can't be treating me this way.

We've known each other too long.

You can't even look me in the eye.

What? You're in love?

You're in love with that man?

That man could never make you happy.

What the hell is that? Sh*t!

Good God! Kiss him, baby!

Get this goddamned monkey off my back!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes