Addicted to Love Page #4

And now perfume...

...from squirt guns|from rich New York kids.

What are the odds...

...of something like that|happening to one person?

I don't know. Ask a mathematician.

Ask your old boyfriend,|the Milky way man.

That's you, Sam.

What are you getting at?

You're driving me crazy.

Anton,|I want you to promise me something.

Just promise that if you were|ever doing anything...

...that you would tell me.

Why are you even thinking of such a thing?

Maybe we could work it out.

I just couldn't take it|if you were lying to me.

Sweetie,|Why would I have sex with a hamburger...

...When I can make love to a steak?

Oh, come on.

Forget about it.

She's this close, Sam.

This close.

Bring some cups and saucers.

And bring some other bottles.

What did I miss?

I think we're getting to them.

I definitely think|that we're getting to them.

Did you get the sweet and sour?

Look, my darling...

...I wanted to show you|how well my hands fit on my knees...

...and to give you a little kiss.

Get away from me, please. You are rude.

But I love you, my little lamb.|I must have you.

My love is throbbing|at quite a fevered cadence.

You cannot have me.

My love is reserved for another.

You cannot mean...

Yes, the Milky way man!

No! Anyone but him.

This is a man who can predict|puffer cluster emissions.

To him I am nothing.

A little, teeny... I'm a worm.

I love his emissions.

Not every man...

...can be a Milky way man.

What will you do now?

Forlorn, I will roam the earth by myself,|thinking of you...

...and pausing occasionally to have|the sex with the skullses.

That's good.

Now be quiet about that...

...or I will make you eat|another one of those pecans!

This is very good.

Look how I'm licking my fingers.|You like that?

I like everything. I am French.

Ordering!

I've been dying for one of these all night.

Can I ask you a question, Anton?

Sure you can.

How do you like America?

Why do you ask?

You're French.

Do you ever miss it?

Do you ever get lonely|for your own country?

I was never so much French|since I've been here.

You know Superman?

That's me, I'm Superman.

And France was like Krypton.

On Krypton everybody was Superman.

You make a nice sauce.

Everybody make a nice sauce.

You say hello to a nice woman|With your French accent...

...and everybody says, "Hello! "

But here on Earth, the moment I arrived...

...I knew this was the place|I had special powers.

I talk about my little town...

...and the bankers open their checkbooks|and say...

..."How great, charming,|and exotic you are, Anton. "

I could read the phone book to a woman...

...and they become hypnotized,|Wet as morning daisies.

Here I have these powers.

Back home, I was nothing.

But here, I'm Superman.

Hip-hip, America!|Hip-hip, land of freedom!

Now you, you're not French.

But it's OK, you know?

You still have opportunity in this country.

Yesterday, he had no job, no future.

But today, a step-up.

A little step, but a step.

Soon you can afford a place|to live and get a girlfriend.

I have a girlfriend.

No, really. Pretty girl?

She's the most wonderful woman|in the world.

She must love you a good deal.

You think women only want men|for their money?

No, not just money.

Power also, and success.

Don't fool yourself, dishwasher.

They want a man|Who takes what he wants.

I don't think that's true.

Listen.

My girlfriend was seeing a man|When I met her.

I took her back to my place,|and I ask her about him...

...very innocently, of course.

Of course.

She had many wonderful things|to say about him.

How nice and devoted, how gentle he was.

So I started to probe in very subtle ways...

...about how strong, powerful,|and successful he was.

I was very good.

In no time,|We were lying together on my couch.

I think she wanted me|to force her away from him.

You could see it in her eyes.

She wanted the battle.

She was crying, too,|but she was kissing me.

Later, of course, she came like a rocket.

Don't worry about the glass.

I won't charge you this time.

Anton, he's here. Matheson.

Matheson? Are you sure?

Table nine.

Oh, my God. It's him.

Go.

I'll take care of him.

Did you bring them?

What I just did was the most|revolting thing I've ever done.

Harold Matheson,|the food critic for the Times.

Big step.|Are you sure you're ready for this?

Everyone!

I Want everyone to do a good job tonight.

I want everything perfect.

Didier, I can see this is not good!

And you, dishwasher,|you don't drop a dish tonight.

I want everything perfect for the bastard.

Heaven for the pig.

Gimme, gimme.

I've created a monster.

I asked your steward for a Chenin Blanc...

...and he brought me this.

You have any idea how that happened?

I took the liberty, Mr. Matheson.

It's from my private reserve.

You know, if I had a suspicious mind...

...I'd think you're trying to get|on my good side.

I thought you would enjoy the year.

I'd say that your little ruse|is working very well...

...especially if you could locate|another bottle.

Well, certainly. Excuse me.

We might find a bottle or two.

Enjoy your meal, Mr. Matheson.

I've just come back from France.

Whereabouts are you from?

It's just Beaucaire.

It's just a small province|in the south of France.

Oh, Beaucaire.

I know that. Isn't that near Nmes?

Is that near Nmes?

Excuse me?

Is that near Nmes?

Yes, it's near there.

Oh, my God!

Did you see that?

I remember.

It's a little to the south and over the hill.

Yes, it is on the other side of the hill.

It's a little south.

The look on Matheson's face.

What are you smiling about?

I'm sorry.

Its legs were fighting|in his mouth like this.

Everything I had is in that restaurant.

It's not that bad. I have my job.

Your teacher's salary|Won't pay for the toilet paper!

That's because they don't|pay teachers what they're worth.

In some parts of the world-

Linda, don't go there.

Do you mind if we don't have|this discussion again right now?

Thank you, Anton.

- Don't be angry.|- I'm not angry.

She's angry.

What if they close me down permanently?

What would you do?

What do you mean?

I mean,|if I couldn't afford this nice place anymore?

You can always find work.

You can go back to modeling-

He was a model?

What if I couldn't find work?

Then what?

What would you do if I were poor?

I would sit out on the curb|With you all day...

...and sell pencils.

Then when it got dark, we would crawl...

...into our cozy refrigerator box|and make love all night...

...and then sell pencils again at sun-up.

Where are you going?

Where's he going?

What's he doing?

Talk to me.

He's getting something off of a shelf.

What is it?

It's a ring. Oh, no!

What does it look like?

It's a circle of diamonds with a...

A big, fat opal in the middle?

I'm familiar with it.

Ton visage, ton corps...

...tu es moi,je suis toi.|Je t'aime, mon amour.

What is that?

- The bastard.|- What?

Would you like to be my wife?

Here.

Nana!

So you found me.

I get 50 pounds of flowers|delivered to my door...

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