Adoration Page #5

but she never lived to see it.

She loved Christmas.

Didn't she, Tommy?

Didn't she what?

I was just telling Simon

how much your mom loved Christmas.

- According to who, Dad?

- Don't you remember?

No.

What I remember, Dad,

is Christmas wasn't such a great time

'cause it meant we had to

spend more time with you.

Actually, we all kind of hated Christmas.

Don't you believe him.

They're in the drawer of my desk,

the roll-top desk.

Beautiful drawings.

You have to believe me, Simon.

I've been thinking

about the virgins and heaven,

and I'm wondering, Simon,

whether it's possible to...

To delay divine reward.

I mean, that way we can kill people

and witness our actions,

feel the satisfaction

that I was talking about before,

and then get martyred after,

get the virgins after.

I mean, what do you think,

can we get a rain check for martyrdom?

What did your father think? Did he qualify?

I can't answer your question.

I have... I have no idea if my father

ever intended to kill himself

or if the virgins even appealed to him.

He loved my mother.

And I'm sure if he got to know

the other people on that plane,

he might have liked them, too.

But that's not the point.

I think that this idea we get, that if you

get to know someone, if you humanize them,

it stops you from pulling the trigger

or setting off the bomb or whatever...

Well, you know, that's just a myth we're

taught, something we get from the movies.

When the reality might be that that's

what actually inspires an extreme action

that is actually being done to someone

that you like, or in this case, with my dad,

people that you love.

What do you want from me?

- I just want you to step into this world.

- Why?

And show these people that there are people

like you that have suffered and survived.

Not like these bullshitters who don't know

what the f*** they're talking about!

Don't say such words to me.

Come on, Bubbe. Just for me.

Show the world that there are people

like you that have survived.

- Yeah.

- Okay. Come on.

- No. I'll do it myself, darling.

- You want to get up by yourself? Go ahead.

Who cares about them?

I don't care about them.

Just go a little closer.

- Come on.

- I'll do it. What?

Show them.

Yeah, I'll show them. Yeah.

There, you see? 46224.

That's pretty emotional stuff.

Simon, you should be proud of your father.

Your father was a hero.

Your father stood for the truth, Simon.

I'm a victim, too.

I'm a victim of years of propaganda,

years of lies.

Here's my tattoo. You like that?

See that? You read that?

That's what I have written on my body.

If you had contemplated somebody other

than yourself for five stinking minutes,

face the idea that...

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Who's he?

- Some guy.

- What, is he trying to pick you up?

- Right.

Where do you keep

your mom's violin, Simon?

It's...

It's at the top of the cupboard on the back.

Yeah.

Why?

When was the last time you took it out?

When we went to see Grandpa

at the hospital last spring.

Right. The confession that never happened.

- Well, maybe there's nothing to confess.

- I wouldn't bet on that.

Do you know something that I don't?

Would my dad have done that?

Crashed the car on purpose?

I wish I could answer that, Simon. I can't.

I didn't get to know him that well.

Look, I was talking to Nick

about the loan idea. It won't work,

not until you're 25.

You know the story about this mark here?

You know it's how your parents met?

See, your mom, she went into

this repair place to get some work done.

And this guy, your dad,

he had this old...

- What do you call this part right here?

- It's a scroll.

A scroll.

He had this old scroll that he had saved,

and he told her he could put it on.

Hers was new.

I don't know the rest of the details.

I found the invoices for the job,

the drawings,

and my dad sketched it all out.

Excuse me.

I guess he wanted her to know

how it would work.

That's very detailed.

He must have liked to plan everything out.

Are you asking me if you can sell it?

Listen to me.

When they died,

I moved down here to look after you.

I wanted to keep you here.

I wanted to keep you in this house.

It was also a chance

to get away from your father.

Things are expensive here, Simon.

You should know that.

We're still carrying the mortgage

on this place.

You're going to be needing money

for university.

What do you want me to do?

Can I think about it?

Yeah, you can think about it.

I know it means a lot. I understand that.

There's something

that I don't understand, Tom.

Why would my dad

want to put a new scroll on?

I mean, it doesn't really increase

the value of the violin.

You could cut it right off

and it would be just as valuable, right?

I don't know.

There's something that my father did that

might explain his character a little better.

When he met my mom,

he was repairing violins.

That was his job.

She came in with this instrument.

Well, it's... It's a long story.

But the last time I was saying

that it wouldn't have mattered if my father

had seen the other people

on board that flight.

It wouldn't have changed his mind

if he'd recognized their humanity.

And I realized

that you never know when

or how something might affect you.

I mean, most of the times

when we find ourselves

most affected by something

is when we think it might be taken away.

And that's when you need to act.

Well, Simon,

I feel like I'm losing you right now,

because if you think

that it's easier to project

your feelings onto a thing

rather than a person,

then I'm wondering what your response is

to what you're looking at right now.

Because right now I'm just a thing on

whatever it is that you're watching me on.

But you're looking at my face

and you're looking into my eyes

and you're listening to my voice.

So whatever it is that you're reacting to,

this thing wouldn't be here if my parents

had been on the plane that day

and your father's bomb had gone off.

That's a stretch, Hannah.

I guess I've had a lot of people

responding who were on that plane.

Maybe there's part of you that wishes

your parents could be part of that club.

This community of people

who are remembering

a catastrophe that never happened.

Look, I guess the assumption here

is that our lives are precious.

But we know that's not feasible.

I mean, it's just not how nature works.

If every life was precious,

the world would not be

able to sustain itself.

We'd go forth and multiply ourselves

into extinction.

So it's just common sense.

So... So how... How do we prevent this?

There's disease, famine.

We generate wars, we plan genocides,

but occasionally someone's got to

take the matter into their own hands

and wipe out a bunch of other lives.

When the police, they showed me the tape

of him saying those things,

that was not Simon.

- No.

- That was someone else.

- He was pretending.

- Why?

Maybe he was trying to work something out.

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