Adult Beginners Page #9

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in risk."

Yeah, I just heard Jake

say that.

What else do you got, Neal?

Jesus f***ing Christ.

Right, well, I'm picking up

where he left off.

Hurry up.

The meter's running.

Let's go.

- Schnell, schnell, come on.

- I'm coming.

Oh, my God.

Don't... Look, just let me talk.

You don't even have

a bathing suit.

I have on boxer briefs.

It's fine.

Not really.

- I'll get out.

- No, we're coming in.

Daddy, I'm swimming!

Buddy, you are swimming.

- And Mama, too.

- Honestly.

Oh, come on.

We're getting out.

Oh, that is cold.

Danny, this is ridiculous.

Hey, ladies.

Hi, hi.

I'm Teddy's daddy.

- Hey, buddy.

- Come on.

What? Dude, why are you

holding onto me?

I'm not entirely comfortable

here.

Yeah, me neither.

Okay, I'll hold him.

You guys talk.

Go to Uncle Jakey, come on.

- What are you doing?

- I need to talk to you.

Hey, buddy.

Look.

It was a one time thing.

Okay? That happened

one-and-a-half times, okay?

Justine, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, you know I am.

I don't know what I needed,

but it wasn't that.

And I'll do anything.

I'll wake up every morning

with Teddy until you forgive me.

I'll get up in the middle

of the night

with the baby

until you forgive me.

I'll do whatever

you need me to do.

But you've gotta let me

come home.

So many visitors.

Teddy, do you think you're ready

to try and jump in?

- Oh, today?

- What? Wait.

No, he doesn't have to,

if he's not ready.

Hey, buddy.

Buddy, you gotta jump in okay?

We gotta go under, okay?

Watch Daddy.

Like this.

Ready?

You do it.

Okay, we gotta go under.

- We gotta show him.

- You gonna go under?

Yeah.

Today's our last class.

- I don't want to.

- She's right.

She's right.

You gotta do it.

You know what?

I'll stay up here, okay?

I'll stay up here

in case he jumps in.

You hold onto Jake,

and I'll hold onto you.

- Nobody's gonna drown.

- Jesus. Drown?

What? Isn't that

what you're worried about?

You know what?

You're new to this class.

Why don't you just back off?

Hey, I'm not new to this class.

I been in this class

a long time.

I'm gonna be in this class

forever.

Okay.

Hold onto me.

We're going under.

Okay?

Teddy, look at Jakey and Mommy.

We're gonna go under.

Okay?

You know I'm doing this just

so you'll stop talking to me.

Great.

I'll be right here.

One...

Two...

Three!

Come on, buddy.

Jump.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I thought we were all getting

pizza.

She's back at the house.

- She's in labor.

- What?

What the f*** are you doing

picking me up here?

Chill out, dude.

She's in the first inning.

Got, like, hours to go.

Wanna blaze?

I'm just kidding.

We do have to pick up

a pizza though.

She'll f***ing kill me

if I don't.

"And the owl baby took

his new owl baby sister,

"and together they flew down

from the tree

"to their little red car.

"'Let's go fast, '

said the owl baby sister.

'Put on your seatbelt, '

said her owl baby brother."

Hi, guys.

I'm gonna go put your bag

in the car.

Teddy, you wanna help Daddy?

- No.

- It's okay.

We're here and we're reading

about baby owls.

Okay.

Well, tell your brother

to relax.

Kiss.

Okay.

Hey.

How are you doing?

When was your last contraction?

20 minutes ago.

Relax.

People should be moving

at a different clip here.

Hey, Teddy, Mommy and Daddy

are gonna go to the hospital

for a little while,

and you're gonna stay here

with Unky Jake, okay?

What does that mean?

Donuts!

Cookies!

More than two shows!

Three shows!

Yeah.

Who stayed with you

when I was born?

I have no idea.

Justine, your fort-building

skills

are very structurally unsound.

I'm in labor.

Honestly, I'd put more

sconces in here.

Noted.

"I am a frog.

My name is Anton..."

Oh, God, I hate this story.

Can we change it?

I'm the guest.

No, you're not.

"...lived a family

of three bears.

"The first was a great big bear.

"The second was a middling-sized

bear.

"And the third was a little

teeny-tiny bear.

"And they all lived together,

in a fine little house.

And very happy they were."

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