Adventure Story Page #2

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preserved in the citadel.

According to this legend,

the empire of the world

will go to anyone who can untie the knot

which binds the ox yolk to the pole.

Alexander decided to attempt the puzzle.

And I arranged that he should be

followed by a large crowd of townspeople

to watch his defeat.

Clever.

A little too clever, I'm afraid. Listen.

After inspecting the knot

for a few seconds,

Alexander treacherously severed it

with one blow of his sword.

Well, Bessus, isn't there an element

of Old World bravado in this gesture

that rather pleases you.

I can't say that it all together

pleases me, sir.

Those sort of madmen

are the most dangerous.

Dangerous? Yes!

At the head of an army,

a megalomaniac is always dangerous.

Hardly at the head

of a skirmishing force.

What has he had

in the way of re-enforcements

since the Battle of the Granicus?

A polite way of reminding me

that his skirmishing force

has already defeated a Persian army.

Alexander didn't win that battle,

you know.

Those fools on our general staff

lost it.

All reports agree that Alexander's

generalship was idiotic.

Hurling himself and the Companions

straight at our heavy chariots,

yelling Homeric battle cries. (LAUGHING)

Cavalry against chariots, imagine!

I shudder to think

what his losses must have been.

Why don't you let the boy

rot where he is?

He can't get through the mountains

except by the Cilician Gates

and they're impregnable.

After a while,

he'll get tired and go home.

And you'll have saved yourself

a lot of money.

I'm afraid my prestige will hardly

allow me to do that, my dear.

Oh, I can assure you I have

no wish to go campaigning.

But that defeat has got to be avenged.

What shall I do with Alexander

when I've caught him, my child?

-Put him in a cage with Marduck.

-(LAUGHING)

-And who is Marduck?

-Her pet lion cub.

-Are you taking Marduck with you?

-No, Darius. I told her that she can't.

I don't see why not.

I'm certainly not having him

in my quarters.

I didn't realise you were

taking your family, sir.

Didn't you, Bessus?

You should know I wouldn't be parted

from them, even for three months.

Is your Majesty quite sure

of the wisdom?

After all, accidents can happen.

-What accidents?

-Oh, epidemics, bad roads.

Nonsense, Bessus.

I rather enjoy these outings.

-Bessus.

-Hmm?

Are you going on this campaign

entirely unaccompanied?

Well, sir, not only is the young lady

quite accustomed to hardship,

but she's...

Also very useful at secretarial work

and that sort of thing.

I think we'd better leave the subject,

don't you?

(CHUCKLING)

What would you like to do

with the captive Alexander, Mother?

Kill him, of course.

I think I shall make a friend of him.

He would rather amuse me.

Darius, a barbarian?

I believe the Greeks

talk of us as barbarians.

What is it, Darius?

He has broken

through the Cilician Gates.

-But how could he?

-A surprise attack by night.

He covered seventy miles in two days.

-Impossible, isn't it?

-Impossible.

You know,

I'm looking forward

to meeting this young man.

I'm looking forward to it

very much indeed.

Mazeres, some wine.

(EXHALING) I took you from Darius,

didn't I, my friend?

After the victory of Issus,

I took everything from Darius.

Even his throne.

(HORSES APPROACHING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

You trying to be funny?

That might not be so healthy.

No, master, I do not try to be funny.

I only try to...serve you.

-Hey, you speak Greek.

-Yes, master.

Then I suppose I shall have to kill you.

-Why, master?

-You might be a spy.

If I were a spy,

I would not tell you I spoke Greek.

Yeah! Something in that, I suppose.

-Who are you?

-I'm the King's chamberlain, Mazeres.

What outlandish names

you barbarians do have.

That you haven't seen, do you hear?

Or...

I haven't seen anything, master.

(HERALDS PLAYING)

PARMENION:

Why are you guarding this tent?

SOLDIER:
Orders, sir.

PARMENION:
All right,

you can let me through.

SOLDIER:
Sorry, sir.

Damn it, man, don't you know

the Chief of General Staff?

That's General Parmenion.

These were Darius's own quarters,

I suppose.

Yes, sir.

Um, I thought I'd better put them under

guard, sir, until the King got here.

Uh, I didn't want anything touched.

Um, a little souvenir, sir, that

I was going to send home to my wife.

-Um, it's got Darius's arms on it, sir.

-Indeed.

That should certainly interest her

very much.

Darius knew how to live.

Father, have you ever seen anything

like this in all your life?

No, my son.

Not exactly the style of living

one would expect

from a commander in chief in the field.

-I agree, disgusting.

-Disgusting?

-I call it magnificent.

-You would.

-Who's this?

-Darius's personal servant, sir.

-I found him here.

-Does he speak Greek?

Yes, sir!

-Where are King Darius's documents?

-Burnt, master.

-Burnt? Who burnt them?

-I burnt them, master.

-Why, you treacherous...

-All right, all right, Cleitus.

He could still be useful.

What's in that chest?

Would you like to open it, master?

Yes, you go in there

and wait till we call.

Ye, Gods!

(LAUGHING)

Well, gentlemen, looks as if we'll have

a chance to settle some arrears of pay.

-Obliging of Darius, I must say.

-Why, he's got all this bullion here.

Imagine what there must be at Damascus,

his forward base.

Oh, the wealth of these barbarians

makes one sick.

Not me, it doesn't.

-(WOMAN SCREAMING)

-(MEN LAUGHING)

Father, don't you think

it's rather strange of the Persians

to bring their women to war with them?

Oh, they've always done it.

It's very bad for morale.

-Bad for theirs perhaps, not for ours.

-I don't agree.

In fact, I have half a mind

to order our men back to camp at once.

Oh, if you did, you'd had a mutiny.

Ask Cleitus.

He's be among the first

to disobey that order.

-What do you mean by that?

-You know exactly what I mean.

I saw you, you wicked old man.

(GIGGLING) And I saw where you put them.

-Them?

-PHILOTAS:
Three.

Three? Cleitus.

(GIGGLING) In a tent out there

guarded by his own phalanx men.

Which reminds me, Cleitus,

you'd better watch out.

You know what your phalanx men are.

PARMENION:
Well, Cleitus?

Well, sir, the females

to whom your son is referring

happen to be three

rather important prisoners

that I thought it best

to keep under guard,

till the King could see them himself.

Oh, Father Cleitus, you old rouge.

Reserved for our chaste monarch.

You ought to have thought

of something better than that

to celebrate our conquest.

We haven't conquered anything today.

Except a breathing space.

What, with 60 or 70,000 dead

and prisoners pouring in?

Half of them got away.

-And Darius still lives.

-Unless Alexander caught him up.

Oh, he hadn't got a chance.

Did you see that narrow gorge?

It was choked with men and animals

and Darius had a clear start.

No human being could have ridden

through that mess.

(MEN CHEERING OUTSIDE)

-Alexander might have done it.

-The God Alexander.

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