Aferim! Page #5

Aferim, Ionita!

For a sweet thing like a kiss,

There's no penance from the priest.

- Right, Father?

- Yes, son.

- Keep your eye on him.

- Sure.

- How did it go?

- He's strong like a bull.

Well done!

You're not all that strong-built.

Were you hatched from an egg?

What can I do?

Hey, you'll set me on fire.

Tight of c*nt and hard of butt,

Makes the cock crack like a nut...

We'll repent when we're old.

Father...

- I'm coming with you.

- Better not.

There's room for more!

Don't know what's wrong with me.

I got a burn in my cock...

I feel sorry for you,

but give me the money.

- I didn't?

- Only for the boy.

Don't scream like a frog in the snake's mouth,

I'll pay.

Bite it, crow!

Don't make a fool out of me!

What's this?

He has to take the dime

from the fire.

Not with your hand.

Take it now!

Oh, shut up.

Alas, poor me!

Who has a stick?

- What for?

- These damn rats.

They's everywhere.

And enough lice to shovel them.

A cricket's chirping under my head.

Chirp back, then.

Turn with your head this way.

- Father.

- What?

Can't we just let him go?

- Who?

- Carfin. He ain't guilty.

The country's torn apart with prongs

And the c*nt sings merry songs...

What are you, a dean?

Just thinkin', why should he be punished

if he ain't guilty...

Enough with this

old maid's dream.

Our job is to catch runaways,

and we caught him.

From here on, there's laws,

rules, 'tis not for us to pry.

But you're a constable...

So what?

The law's for everyone.

We must all follow it.

I've been honest all my life.

Done my job lawfully.

This world's full of evildoers, Ionita.

I've seen some

freeing locked up thieves at night

so they could steal horses and cows,

then locking them back in...

And they shared the loot.

I don't do such deeds.

I know.

And I haven't been mean to folks

like other constables.

- I never beat a soul for nothing.

- I know.

I've always been fair.

If we weren't fair either,

our country would go straight to Hell.

But I ain't never been black-hearted.

I know.

What if we said we couldn't find him?

Want us to be everyone's laughingstock

and not get a single dime?

You can't feed the wolf

and save your lambs.

Cursed whore's sons,

shut those mouths!

Come on, let's sleep.

Sleep keeps hunger away.

My head hurts bad.

Let me ward off the evil eye from him.

Go ahead, Carfin.

He didn't drink much.

I drank like a sow,

I'm still hazy...

Come over here, Ionita!

I won't eat you!

All ache and ail,

leave the inside of the head,

the hearing of the ears...

Shake yourself, Ionita!

It'll pass, little master,

you'll see.

O treacherous world,

first sweet, then bitter...

When the rogues don't set the woods on fire,

we cut them all to the ground.

Wallachia's forests

are cracking under the axe...

Good country, bad ruling!

I wonder, Ionita,

a few hundred years from now,

d'you think folks will say

a good word about us?

I don't know, father.

I think they won't say a thing.

They won't think that

we smoothed their path in life.

Or they'll only curse our souls to hell.

Gone the day, gone the night...

Ease up, constable.

In two long hours we're home.

We'll get there by dusk.

Alas, unjust death

and cheating world!

You bring people comfort,

then bury them.

...Alexander the Great studied with

a great philosopher, Aristoteles.

He taught him all the Psalms.

All the worthy men wondered

at how fast he learned.

What, Carfin,

do you feel the noose tightening?

He'll kill me, master.

I beg of you

like I beg the Holy Virgin,

put a word in for me with the boyar!

I swear I'll show him

you couldn't help it.

I've been a constable

for many years, I have his ear.

- May the Lord give you health!

- Same to all of us.

If he wants to harm you,

I won't let him.

Some whipping,

that's all.

- That's bad too.

- 'Tis no pleasure, but it passes.

All goes away,

Like the rain in May.

What?

Or he'll choke me to death

with hot pepper smoke,

f*** his black soul...

If you put in a word,

I won't ever do another bad deed.

And if you need something,

I'll help you.

Our Carfin eats humble pie...

But in the ass of the humble

the Devil sits cross-legged...

My shot wounds are hurting...

Stop pouting like a duck,

they ain't but cat scratches...

'Twas your own doing

for hiding from us...

You have a good life nowadays.

- Who?

- You Gypsies.

In the olden days,

the Voivod woke up and said:

"Today I feel like hunting crows!"

And they got some slaves up a tree

and the Voivod shot arrows at them

'til he killed one.

'Til he hunted down a crow...

Could be. Woe is us...

Easy, little master.

So they see you've come on foot...

It hurts, I can't walk.

Better lame and on foot

than blind and in the saddle.

Easy, master, it hurts.

- Constable, I have a word with you.

- Speak!

- My horse was stolen.

- Where'd you keep it?

- Behind the house...

- And what am I to do?

Help me get the thief.

I'll thank you with something.

First see if it didn't stray.

Look for it everywhere.

As the saying goes:

I was looking for my mare

and I found I was astride it...

- Crow, is the boyar home?

- He ain't, master.

- Where's Vasile?

- I'll go get him.

- Where'd you find the crow?

- None of your business.

Have you paid your impost?

I'll come and check.

We don't have nothin'!

What will we send to Istanbul

and all the others we owe?!

Want the Ivans or the Turks

to come kill us?

But the boyar pardoned us last year...

That was last year...

Easter don't come every day.

Rabble...

F*** your whore mother, Carfin!

Get away,

or I'll bash your head in.

Stupid lowlife!

'Twas because of him the boyar

gave us such torment here!

He'll cane him

'til the flesh comes off his back.

Mind the servants,

they're like the pest.

Scat now,

or I'll whip-f*** you!

Stupid people...

We'll go have a word with Lady Sultana.

She's in the tower.

- Guard Carfin!

- Sure I will.

Tell her I'm here!

They got you, Carfin!

- Take the night pot, it's full.

- Faster, crow.

Why didn't you throw it through the cracks?

Bless you, merciful lady.

May God give you happiness

for your infinite good deeds.

I kiss your hand like a son.

This is Ionita, my boy and my helper.

Thank you for letting us in.

I didn't, you barged in.

What do you want?

To tell you how my heart burns

when I see you suffering.

We've come to hand Carfin over to the boyar...

- How did you find him?

- Me?

- An old man knows what's in his bag...

- What bag?

Don't you know the tale?

An old man was beating his wife with a bag

and people wondered,

not knowing the bag was filled with rocks.

- Where was he?

- Working for a craftsman.

Listen, he says the fault was yours

and the boyar shouldn't torment him...

I just want to complain

to our Father Metropolitan,

but my husband keeps me locked up.

What for, kind lady?

The beastly beatings I've suffered

from this enemy of mine.

Heart of mine, don't cry so.

She cries all the time.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes