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Afflicted Page #2
The footage is phenomenal.
Probably the coolest thing is just
for the first time in
a really long time.
A weight has been lifted
off his shoulders,
and I can't wait for the
next couple of days,
because things are gonna
get even crazier.
Whoo!
Holy sh*t. Holy sh*t!
It was way more scary than
Oh, my God.
Group hug. Group hug.
Oh, I love this. Feel the love.
Okay, Derek. If we can find you
with low enough standards,
do you think you can take her home?
Let's take a quick poll.
I think that he's gonna
succeed in, uh...
In getting her where
he wants to get her,
but I think that she's gonna
have a horrible time.
With that Canadian vibe, he's
Actually, with you guys at my
wing, I'm pretty much screwed.
I'll be impressed if he just
talks to a girl tonight.
Clif will be filming.
That'll add a certain
amount of pressure.
- We have to get this on film.
- No, I'm on your side.
- This is important.
- Can we not...?
Let's not encourage this,
okay? You gotta...
You gotta not be filming
the whole night.
Actually, I have something for you.
It's condoms.
I think this is the lucky one.
Actually, I'll give you all of them.
They're all lucky ones.
Oh, this is very optimistic
of you. Ha-ha-ha.
They're French condoms, so they're
probably the best in the world.
We're Unalaska.
We're gonna play
some songs for you.
I'm the brother
That you never meet
I'm an anchor
When you swim in the sea
Oh, a life sentence
Like a battery beast
And I only see the light
When you smile with teeth
No luck?
Have you been telling them
obnoxious travel stories?
- Yep.
- You need to lead with
"I have a brain aneurysm."
Okay, that might be a little
bit too close to home.
Dude, there are tons
of cute girls in there.
We are gonna go find
you one right now.
Too hot for Derek?
Possibly. I don't know.
Derek, I got one! Derek!
Aw.
Hell has frozen over.
Derek Lee has found a lady.
Hi.
Hi. I'm... I'm Clif.
Buddy, hey, back off
with the... Buddy.
I'm the skeleton in your body
You will never get a glimpse of me
Attaboy, Derek.
I knew you could do it.
And now I'm filming
Good stuff.
So I'm supposed to act
natural while you're...
Act natural. Just talk to Clif.
We are leaving, so...
- Oh, yeah, okay.
- If you wanna come party with us,
- call this, my number.
- Holy rock star moment.
We're trying to figure out what
we're doing with our hotel tonight
because our friend went back
there with a girl, so...
Okay, that's fine. So you don't
sleep and, like, party all night.
I have to say congratulations
for him doing it with a girl
because I always congratulate
my friends for that.
- We don't know...
- It's hard to do.
We don't know if he's
actually doing it.
- There's one way to confirm.
- We could find out.
There's only one way to... Exactly.
What you're suggesting is the, uh...
The Turkish cock block.
I believe that that
is what it's called.
I think we should
elaborate on that point.
in the spirit of friendship.
But it is something
that friends do.
- And it is hilarious.
- It's hilarious.
do it. Edo, confirmation?
Operation Cock Block is a go.
This is... This is hands
down the shittiest thing
I've ever done to a friend,
but we're gonna do it,
because it's in the
spirit of Paris.
- In the spirit of Paris. I like that.
- Yeah.
Can I just say, because
we're filming this,
that I am against this
completely because it's mean?
Yeah, well, you can go
sleep in the lobby.
- We're not.
- I'm independent.
One, two, three.
Cock block!
- Holy sh*t.
- Derek?
- F*** me.
- Derek?
- Derek, Derek.
- Hey, man.
Derek? Derek?
- Dude...?
- Call an ambulance.
- Call an ambulance!
- What happened here?
Call an ambulance!
Derek, wake up.
Wake up!
- Derek, are you okay?
- You're bleeding, man.
Sh*t, it's on his head.
What the hell happened, man?
What did Audrey do to you?
I don't know. I don't remember.
I mean, she left all her clothes.
Look, I just said I
don't remember, man.
Like, she comes in, she...
She hits me in the head,
everything goes hazy,
and the next thing I know,
you guys are rushing in, so...
We shouldn't be taking you
to the hospital, right,
like, given your condition?
No, I don't think so.
- You're sure?
- Yes, I am sure.
Like, look, this looks way
worse than it is, all right?
I just wanna keep going.
Are you groggy? Are you okay?
- I'm okay.
- All right.
- We gotta go.
- This is it.
- All right.
- See you.
Take care, dude.
- Take care of this guy.
- Yeah.
- See you, man.
- Take care of your wife.
All right, bye.
Okay.
I guess that'll be your place. Heh.
What the hell, man?
You're still asleep?
Get up. Come on, man. Get up.
This is ridiculous. You've
been asleep forever.
Come on, seriously, man. Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
- How long have I been out?
- A while. Way too long.
- Come on. Come on, come on.
- Okay. Okay.
Let's go. Contacts, clothing.
Emerging into the outer world
where you can interact
Why are you...? Why are you so...?
Why are you so annoying?
Because we're supposed to
be on this trip together.
- What the hell?
- Yes. I am here.
- Guess I'm hungry. Sorry.
- Yes.
Well, I know exactly
the place we can go.
Good.
Yeah. Two, please.
This place is amazing,
man. Look at this place.
Little sleepy boy here has
been sleeping the days away
and missing this
Mediterranean paradise.
Seriously, look at that.
I'm starving. What are you having?
Um, pesto.
All right, look at that.
Oh, jeez. Thank you.
- Looks amazing.
- Look at that.
This food looks so
good, man. This...
Aw. Heh. I am...
Are you even listening
to me right now?
Oh, Jesus Chri...
Derek.
Derek. What the hell?
Derek, wait.
Hey.
Hey, man, how are you feeling?
Better.
Look, I just think
that with everything that's
been going on with you,
that we should go talk
Clif, I'm not going
to the hospital.
Okay, it's probably just
food poisoning, so...
What are you talking about?
What are you doing, man?
You got hit in the head.
This isn't something to
f*** around with, man.
Clif.
If I go,
okay, and they find something,
they might not let me leave, okay?
And I don't wanna spend
another second in a hospital.
I feel fine.
So, like, we're not
stopping the trip.
Are we doing this or not?
Yes, I'm rolling, okay?
- Go.
- Okay, uh...
Clif has arranged a tour with
here at his... At his, uh, cantina.
It's Cheo Wines.
Let's go.
- Hello.
- Oh, good morning.
- Hi. I'm Derek.
- Oh, nice to meet you.
- My name is Bartolo.
- Bartolo.
This is our cellar.
We have the largest cellar in town.
- Really?
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"Afflicted" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/afflicted_2272>.
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