Afonya Page #3

- Whatever.

Such is life, Katyusha.

It's all work, social extra-work

activities, self-education.

And no personal life.

Soon as I'm free - I'll give you

a call.

Comrades!

We received another signal

from the militia.

And once again it's about

Borschov.

With your permission I'll read it

to you.

- Go ahead, shoot.

- Afonya!

Come out to the stage.

- Let the good folks see you.

- Coming!

On April 2 this year,

while on vacation at

the 'Gorny Orel' resort home,

employee of your organization

Borschov,

being in a drunken state,

was arrested by the local

militia

for jumping and bathing in

the fountain in the city square.

We advise you to discuss

Borschov's unworthy conduct

and administer a public reprimand.

Chief of local militia dept of

the city of Ja...

Jarobaidy. Captain Tshardzh...

Tshardzhbridzhi Badzhibayev.

Well, comrades.

Any questions to Borschov?

Show some initiative, comrades!

Why'd you jump into the fountain?

Was it so hot?

- It was because of a woman.

- She was drowning?

No. There was a bunch of us.

And she said:
'Bet Voldemar won't

jump into the fountain!'

- So I jumped.

- Why you? Why is it always you?

That Voldemar fellow should've

jumped.

That's what she called me.

Oh, so I see. Still it's not good,

Borschov.

We gave you a discount on your

voucher, - and you!

- That's not good.

- Can't agree more.

Well, comrades.

Borschov recognizes the fact

of his disorderly conduct.

Any suggestions?

Fyodorov!

I suggest we issue a warning notice,

and all go home.

Good idea. Today they're showing

the 6th episode.

I've already got a 'warning notice'.

I don't have the 'severe reprimand'.

Oh, keep quiet, I know that.

Comrades. Borschov already has

a 'warning notice'.

He hasn't got a 'severe reprimand'.

Any suggestions?

- Who is it?

- The Pope in person!

- Who?

- It's the plumber! Open up.

Hello. Our tap roars like a tiger.

You don't have to do that.

I'll mess up your floor.

Done. It doesn't roar any more.

- You can use it safely.

- Thank you.

No problem.

If you need me, just call.

I'm A. N. Borschov.

A. N. Borschov!

You intend to go barefoot?

That's what overwork does

to you.

My boy's got 3 conditions.

Will have to feed the little

sponger all summer.

Life's no easy thing.

What time is it?

Young lady, what time is it please?

- 20 past 17.00.

- 20 past 17.00.

- So where is he?

- He promised to be here at 17.00.

One moment.

Wanna be the third party?

- What?

- Wanna be third?

- What?

- Oh, go home!

Afonya! I don't like people

like him!

Unpunctual.

Sh*t!

Afanacy, do you happen to know

the UN decision on Honduras?

You and... who N?

I've a feeling I live in a cave.

- Borschov!

- I'm not in.

I'm away on field works.

Complete isolation.

Afonya!

Hey, friend, call Afonya for us,

will ya!

He's not in.

Where is he?

- He went away.

- Went away?

He's on fieldworks.

- I don't fancy the likes of him.

- And who's that?

- And who're you?

- Me?

A relative... Distant.

Spare us a ruble, relative.

Afonya owes me a ruble.

- 2.

- Two!

A. N. Borschov?

- May I come in?

- Please do.

Done. You can use it now.

How much do I owe you?

Nothing.

The lack of client complaints -

is the best reward for a job

well done. All the best.

Eventually we can replace the sink

too.

Borschov! What do you say?

What is it?

Need to cut!

- What about a pipe strap?

- No good.

Call the emergency brigade!

They are fixing a sewer accident

in block 17. You know that.

That's none of my concern.

I finished my shift.

You're the forewoman -

you figure it out.

Good man, what about us?

We can't eat, can't drink,

can't wash our laundry.

water.

Is this not water? Good enough

for drinking and washing.

You can use it as a swimming pool,

grandpa!

Am I right? And I'm done for today.

See you tomorrow. Chao!

- What's your apartment, grandpa?

- 27.

So I've replaced the sink in this

one too.

- Sign here. It won't leak now.

- It didn't before.

It would have.

It was tin-plate.

I've changed it for a cast iron -

to last for ages.

Well thank you, but...

You can't spread

'thank you' over your bread.

Chao.

Done.

You can use it now.

I don't know how to thank you

enough.

That's nothing.

- You know who you are?

- Who?

You're Gena the Crocodile.

As handsome as him?

No. As generous.

With time I could

install a Finnish basin in your

bathroom.

- Ivan! What are you doing?

- See for yourself.

Picking mushrooms.

I see. 'And I play my harmonica

for passersby to see...'

- Hey there, hazel-eyes!

- Hello.

- How's life?

- Fine.

That's my girl. Keep it up!

So what's new?

Ivan! That's no way to do it!

It's leaning. You should use

a plumbrule.

Why don't you come over here

and help. Consultant.

I can't. I've no time.

So how's life? Tell me.

Afanasy.

Where I work paramedic Fedoseeva

had just had twins.

- No kidding!

- Yes. A boy and a girl.

The girls and I went to buy her

a baby pram.

When we came back,

they said someone called me.

- I thought, maybe it was you.

- Me? No, I didn't call.

I went away on fieldworks.

Only just come back.

- I thought it might have been you.

- No...

Just look at them!

Can't do anything right. Funny.

They're doing it for themselves!

And I thought it was you.

Give me your hand. Clench

your fist.

Say:
beep!

Louder.

Hello! It's Gena the Crocodile

speaking.

There, so I called you.

I don't seem to be feeling well.

I'd better go lie down.

Read some papers.

Maybe you need medicine?

No. I prefer

Homemade remedies to medicine.

Soon as I get better, I'll call you.

At the vocational school

I used to sing in a choir.

They were going to send me

to a music school.

I had a 1st degree in volleyball

too.

They recommended me

for a master's degree.

I could be a couch by now.

Would travel worldwide.

If I hadn't quit, that is.

What's the use...

Claudia travelled to Hungary. I've

been asking her - she saw nothing.

Went on a shopping spree, bought

a wig. That made her happy.

- For you?

- For herself.

Afanasy, are your parents alive?

No. My mother died when I was one,

father was killed in the war.

You grew up in an orphanage?

No. My aunt looked after me.

- She alive?

- Auntie Frosya?

She's alive all right. That's her.

- And that's you?

- Right.

You're funny.

She used to call me Magic Horse.

A good-looking woman.

Half our village was crazy about

her. Only she was a one man woman.

Her fianc was killed in the Finnish

war - and that was it for her.

She must have grown older by now.

Haven't seen her since I went

to serve in the army.

Remind me to send her a postcard,

will you?

I moved here, and I didn't send her

my new address.

Look!

There's a comet.

It's only an airplane.

Afanasy!

If they'd offered you a planet with

any kind of life you choose, -

what would you choose?

I'd like one with free beer.

I'd choose one just like ours.

Only without wars, hotbeds

of tension....

So that people would live in peace

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