Afula Express

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Assaf Amir & Julie Shels

Present:

A film by Julie Shels

You know your problem, Batya?

Which one? -What?

Whenever you're supposed,

to go find a job

you find a new problem

and don't leave the house

That's your problem! -What?

-You put up with it!

Tzvika Hadar

Let's discuss this.

-Go ahead. -Pick a card.

Estie Zackheim

I'm late for work.

-Don't be a drag! Pick card.

Fine.

You picked one?

-Nine of hearts.

Don't tell me, moron!

What a dingbat!

Don't call me moron

or dingbat again!

Afula Express

Aryeh Moskuna

Orly Perl

Guest Appearance by

Natan Zahavi

Script by Amit Leor

with Julie Shles & Assaf Amir

Director of Photography:

Itzik Portal

Editor:

Maor Keshet

Casting:

Levana Hakim & Yotvat Palter

Costumes:
Tzipi Anglisher

Art Director:
Ava Gronowitz

Sound:

Gil Toren & Yohai Moshe

Original Score:

Yuval Shafrir

Produced by

Assaf Amir

Directed by

Julie Shles

Henrietta, you beauty...

You know your problem, Shimon?

-No, what?

You can't dress!

-What do you mean?

Look at you! Stripped shirt,

checkered pants.

and those red socks!

Look at you!

I'm Romanian.

-So?

That's how Romanians dress.

-Are Romanians blind?

I'm sure some know

how to dress.

Maybe, but I don't know any.

-What a character!

Pick a card!

-Don't waste your time, David!

Excuse me...

You live in the building, right?

-Me? - Yes.

Wait a second, okay?

Okay.

I know you from somewhere.

Are you from Tel Aviv?

No, Afula.

-Afula?!

No sh*t!

I'm from a farm near Afula!

I got here a week ago!

I heard. You're the one who sings.

I'm Vicky. I'm a singer.

I mean, I want to be. That's why I'm here.

Afula's a dead end.

-I'm Batya.

By the way, you really sing nice.

-Wow...

Thanks.

-Well, I'm late for work...

Wait, wait! Didn't you work

at the Snail's?

The snail?

-The bakery in Afula...

The guy with the wig!

No, I never did.

-No? - I have to run.

You'll see!

I know you from somewhere!

Good morning, dear.

-Good morning, Seior Bueno.

How's it going?

The same.

Not enough

men for prayer service.

Did you tell

your husband to come?

My husband's...lazy.

He's not even awake

when you guys pray.

What does he do all day?

Good question, Seior Bueno.

Good question...

Excuse Me!

Excuse Me!

It's been a hard day,

Outside the rain is falling,

While you cry,

you cry...

Tell me what's breaking

your heart...

I promised Batya

I'd look for a job.

So? -So?

I didn't find one.

-Don't be a jerk.

You should understand me.

If I find a job, then I'm screwed.

All I need is one lousy show

and some equipment,

then things will start rolling!

But she doesn't get it!

I've told her over and over,

but she just doesn't get it!

Be careful.

Women are like rubber bands.

Stretch them too far...

And you'll get smacked

in the face.

You're a real character!

How could you just

give it up?

What? -Magic.

My wife left me and I went to pieces! -So?

My hands got the shakes.

Then how do you tie

your shoelaces?

I wear loafers. See!

-Okay, I was just joking!

Hey kid, come here!

Don't be afraid! Come here...

Know what I just heard?

God's an Arab!

Sh*t! No bar code!

?17.40

Thanks.

Hey! -Hi.

You work here? -Yes.

Cool!

?15.00

?15.00

Do you watch "The Young?"

-"The Young?"

..."And the Restless."

Not lately. -You won't believe

it! Dorothy went back to Victor!

No sh*t? For good?

We'll have to wait 'till

next week to find out.

But I think she's in deep sh*t.

I tape all the episodes.

Drop by if you want to catch up.

Thanks. Maybe I will.

-Cool.

See you.

Come by.

-Okay

Hey, did you work

for Sarah with the leg?

What? -In Afula.

Sarah with the short leg.

No, I didn't.

?117.40 Thank you.

-This is really bugging me.

I'll figure it out.

Signature and

phone number, please.

Sure you didn't work there?

-No, I swear.

Okay, sorry.

Don't forget your coupons.

-What?

It's a special offer.

Collect coupons and win prizes.

Forget it. -But why?

First prize is a weekend

for two in Turkey.

I'm not into those things.

Thanks anyway.

You sure turn him on. -Who me?

Me, turn on a guy like that?

-You bet!

Hey, Davy. -What?

Why don't your rabbits

have kids?

They're both males, Shimon.

Hope they don't screw in the ass.

You have the soul of a poet.

Why do you change into pajamas

when you get home?

Tradition, Shimon.

Tradition?

My grandfather did it.

He made my Dad swear to do it.

And I swore to my Dad

I'd do the same.

Yeah, but why?

With tradition

you don't ask why.

The minute you do

it's all over.

and you're eating pork.

-I don't eat pork!

I didn't say you did!

Nothing to do with tradition

or religion. It gives me gas.

You're one of a kind, Shimon.

Can a guy get some tea here?

-Sure, but first pick a card.

I can't believe it.

You haven't moved.

A cup of tea and I'm leaving.

No, Shimon. Don't go.

I may need help getting him in the tub.

We have a Bar Mitzvah in Afula

and he hasn't bathed in days.

Men don't have to bathe every day.

I forgot. You're

Davy's philosopher friend.

Lay off!

Shimon, how do you manage

without working?

David's got it made,

but you live alone.

How do you do it?

I get social security.

-Great invention. That's enough?

I don't need much.

Eggs for breakfast.

Cheese for lunch, and chicken once a week.

I'll make you some tea.

He'll never get off his ass.

Know your problem, Batya?

-What? -You're too practical.

Batya, what's wrong? I'm sorry.

Pick a card!

Come on, I'll never call you

a moron again, okay?

I won't call you a dingbat, either.

Stop that noise! I can't

concentrate on my magic!

Dingbat!

When did you start

wearing shorts?

It's a gift for

my nephew's Bar Mitzvah.

What Bar Mitzvah?

-You promised to come!

He has more clothes than a model!

I'm worried about him!

Look! Flowered panties!

You'd better talk to your sister.

Shut up, a**hole!

Leave my family out!

I'm just worried...

-Yeah, sure!

Since we left Afula,

you never visited once.

If you don't come,

I'll fry your rabbits.

Leave my rabbits out of this.

-Leave my family out of this.

We're even.

It can't be! I learned this

trick from Yehuda!

Which Yehuda? -The Gouda.

-Silly me.

He's world famous!

He does weddings, Bar Mitzvahs...

The best magician in Israel!

That's what you said

about Chico.

He was the best then.

-That was days

It's a very competitive field!

So that wasn't your card?

-yes.

Yes it was or yes it wasn't?

-Yes, it was not.

What a slut! -A slut that works

hard to support her lazy pimp.

Your nose drives me crazy.

-You're nuts.

I can't take it. -Stop!

-Let me take it off.

Moron.

I:

love

you.

Baby

And if it's quite all right

I need you baby

I...love...you

Baby

And if it's quite all right

I need you baby

What?

All that noise is blowing

my concentration.

What do you want me to do?

Let's go back to Afula.

-Don't start.

What am I doing

in this lousy city?

You dream of being a magician,

but what about me?

You want me back in the garage

fixing blinkers?

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