Afula Express Page #2

---

We spoke about this.

Try to understand.

Just a little more patience.

I'll practice and

buy equipment.

Then I'll get one show

after another!

The cash will roll in! No more

late shifts at the market!

I'll make you a queen!

Then we'll go back

to Afula! Get it?!

I promise I'll look

for a job tomorrow. -Sure.

Shut up over there! It's quieter

on a construction site!

I can't take that new chick

and her singing!

Good! Now jump backwards!

And stop!

You just don't get it.

-What, peanut?

The power of illusion.

What's wrong with reality?

-Too real. -Enough, Davy.

Pick a card.

-Enough with the cards!

You're a freeloader

and I put up with it!

You were right.

I was joking! What do you want?

What do I want?

Look at us, Davy.

We're not kids anymore.

You want to get married?

I don't know how to tell you

this, but there's no other way.

You're not a magician. -What?

I can't believe you said that!

You know I'm sensitive

about that!

That was really bitchy!

You were a great mechanic.

You're funny. I love you.

But you're a lousy magician!

And who are you,

Mrs. Houdini!

A cashier! But that doesn't make

you a better magician!

I get it. -What?

-You're jealous!

That you can't do

one lousy card trick? -Exactly

Who can't? -You can't!

Pick a card.

-Stop already!

Pick a card!

What do you care?

If it works, I don't go to

your queer nephew's Bar Mitzvah.

It's a dumb bet.

You can't do it.

We'll see. Pick a card.

Did you pick one? -Yes.

Do you remember it? -Yes

The king of clubs.

What is it?

Tell me.

Yes. -Yes what?

-Yes.

Wow! First time it worked!

Congratulations, Batya! Where's Davy?

-Why didn't he come?

Now pull the head.

That's it!

-Now grab the legs.

Put me back together now!

Who says I know how?

Shimon, this box is

what I've been missing!

It's easy!

It's all in the equipment!

I feel the tide turning.

We're going to make it.

You and me. -Forget it.

Hey, ugly! Discuss you future

after you put me together!

Hey, Batya!

You're just in time!

What a mess!

I had a big breakthrough today!

-You embarrassed me today!

Everyone at the Bar Mitzvah

talked behind my back.

Come on, Dingbat.

Magic is.

I had to lie to my mother.

"He's busy working, Mom."

Magic isn't just make-believe.

It's me forcing you to choose

what you think you chose.

Get it? Do you think

we really cut her in half?

Where'd you get the box, jerk?

Box?! It's a grand illusion!

I bought it.

Grand bullshit! How much?

Nothing. I bought it on credit.

Answer. -You answer.

It's probably your mother.

-You answer.

What's your problem?

Who? Which Chaim?

Chaim!

I didn't recognize your voice!

It's Chaim, my agent!

I don't believe it!

He got me a job!

He's the real magician.

No, that's just Mrs. Houdini.

What? A show tomorrow?

Tomorrow?! Give me a pen.

I need a pen!

Yes. What?

Where? Yashrash?

Yashrash!

The Yemenite village?

I know where it is. Up north.

Don't worry. I've mastered

the grand illusion!

A gift from my girlfriend.

That's love for you.

Don't worry.

I'll deal with the union.

Of course I'll have an assistant.

It'll be an amazing show! The

Yemenites will never forget it!

Bye, Chaim.

Later alligator.

Where are you such a b*tch? -Me?

Killing my career when it's

starting? -What career, moron?

Go make a fool of yourself!

-Jealous again!

You're nuts!

Jealous of a Bar Mitzvah in

a Yemenite village?!

It's a jubilee celebration!

Make a fool of yourself.

I won't be there.

Wrong again.

-I'm warning you, David.

Imagine this.

Both of us on stage...

You in a mini and a fancy hairdo

and the crowd's screaming:

David, David!

-Forget it.

No. -Then remember this.

I'm not anyone's assistant

and I'm not going. Period!

Do we have enough gas?

Trust me! You're in good hands.

Stop! You'll get us into

an accident! -You're great!

It's my uncle's truck!

What a truck, what an uncle

and what a friend!

Look at Batya! What class!

For a moment I though

you might not come!

You almost had me fooled!

Isn't life wonderful!

We're out of gas.

-You know your problem, Shimon?

Don't start.

-You don't listen.

I told you to check the gas in Tel Aviv.

There's tank.

-And when we left?

tank. -That gas gauge works

as well as your brain!

Sit here and b*tch

like a little girl.

I'm going to look for gas.

At least you take responsibility!

How long are you going to

give me the silent treatment?

So it wasn't a great show!

So what?!

Every new magician

has a few bad shows!

I'm just starting!

-Starting my ass!

Tell me, what do you want?

What?

From me, from yourself,

our lives...

Sugar. -What?

Where's the sugar?

-Under your nose.

I didn't notice. How many?

This is exactly what

I'm talking about! -What?

I've been dieting for months.

Killing myself to

look good for you.

And you don't even notice.

-Sure I do.

Saccharine David, not sugar!

I've been using saccharine

for 6 months!

I'm sorry.

No you're not.

You're too busy with yourself

to be sorry.

Aren't you overreacting?

What's with you?

So I had one shitty show!

Big deal!

I'm not overreacting.

Then don't be my assistant!

Does that solve the problem?

No!

I didn't think so.

I don't know.

I don't understand anything anymore.

I saw my life flash before

me on stage tonight.

Really? -I swear.

I saw my neighbor Brunia,

the Holocaust survivor.

She always invited me to eat

and I hated her cooking.

But I couldn't hurt her feelings

so I went every day.

David, it was the worst.

The worst food

I've eaten in my life.

Then I'd go eat my mother's food

to spare her feelings.

You know why I look

like this?

I can't hurt peoples' feelings.

You never told me that story.

Yes I did.

You know what else

I remembered? -No, what?

Forget it.

That's not fair.

No one forced you.

What would we do with a kid

in Tel Aviv now?

You were convinced we were

doing the right thing, too.

Convinced...

Like I was convinced

to move to Tel Aviv,

and work at the market,

and convinced to be

your assistant tonight.

You know my problem, Davy?

-What?

I'm too easily convinced.

I thought about it

in the car before.

You took it really hard.

Yeah.

Remember when you asked me

to marry you by the lake?

I hated the way you said it.

But it was the first time you

did. So the answer is yes.

Seriously? -Yes.

You want us to get married?

What kind of face is that?

I guess that's my reaction.

Give me a minute to digest this.

Digest? Either you're ready

or you're not.

Do you see what

you're asking of me?

A "yes" right on the spot?

Marriage, kids, all that mess?

It sounds fine in principle,

but I need time.

A chance to get my career rolling.

Wait, which career

are we talking about?

Magic? - Hell yeah! Magic.

Let me say this clearly.

It's either me or hocus pocus.

The two don't go

together anymore.

Do you realize what

you're asking?

Hell yeah!

Think about it because

you may not like my answer.

Yeah?

Yeah!

Batya, listen!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes