Agent Page #2

---

That's fine. You can't

make them your whole life.

Hey, guys!

Let's all take a picture together!

- Come on!

- Sure.

Okay.

- Oh, wait, it's on... slow-mo.

- Oh, wait!

Oh, yeah, I think that we

should get some slow-mo in.

And then do the... movement.

- Oh, wow.

- Oh, yeah.

What do we got?

So much hair! So much hair!

Oh, no!

- Oh, my God.

- Okay.

If that's not a blackmail picture,

I don't know what is!

Oh! Ugh, it's all blurry!

That sucks.

Can we go back?

- We're not going back.

- Please!

- No.

- Please, pretty please!

No, I know what happens.

We'll take a hundred pictures.

We'll never get out of there.

- Please.

- Uh-uh.

Ugh! Fine.

Ack!

Jim, I'm so happy that you're here!

Now I finally have someone who at least

knows his way around a camera.

Didn't you just yesterday

say you liked my photos?

I work with what I got.

All right, how about I take

a picture of you on the rock?

I guess I can give you

a chance to redeem yourself.

- Okay.

- Think you're good.

Yeah?

Now pretend the boulder's

going to fall on you.

- I'm not gonna do that!

- Come on!

She's cool.

Yeah... she is.

- ...like that.

- What?

Come on.

Yay, we're here!

- It's like...

- Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Yeah, I mean, that's what he tells me.

Well, you know.

When you're right, you're right.

Hey! How are you?

- Hey.

- Good.

You're Seth, I take it?

- Yeah.

- Hey, how are you?

- I'm good.

- Yeah. John. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

This is Jim.

Hey, Jim. John.

Nice to meet you.

- How you doing?

- Very good.

- Angela.

- Hi, Angela, how you doing?

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you as well.

- Pleasure.

- Kara's around here somewhere.

- Kara, okay.

- Where'd she go?

- Kara?

- I don't know.

She was just over there.

Uh, hold on a sec.

I'll go find her.

Uh, who's this we're waiting for?

- Oh, Kara.

- Oh, Kara.

Right there.

Okay.

Kara?

Kara!

Kara?

Oh, my gosh, you scared me!

Come on, we're heading out.

Let's go.

No, wait a minute.

Come here.

According to Wikipedia, some German dude

used to talk to aliens over

this funky radio he built.

- Wow.

- Whoo!

This looks... legit.

All right, ladies, you can do

the touristy hoax sh*t

later if you want.

Let's head out.

Drive's about five miles from here.

It's okay to leave my car here?

Yeah, you can put it back there.

Damn dune buggies and dirt bikes,

tearing up the road like snowboarders.

Make it impossible to drive faster.

Don't worry about that.

There's nothing out here.

Just maybe a couple of land mines. Boom!

I'll watch my step.

You better!

- Your son?

- Yeah, yeah, that's my son.

- How old is he?

- He's 11.

He's going into boarding school

next year.

That must be expensive.

Uh, you be telling me.

Ah. Any of you know

your way around weapons?

I got four years Army Reserves.

Oh, yeah?

What was your MOS?

Military intelligence.

Ah, you're a spook.

- Now if I told you...

- Yeah?

- ...I'd have to kill you.

- Ooh!

You? How about you?

How do you know so much about guns?

Ah, retired Special Forces.

This must be a walk in the park for you.

Ah, easier than working at

the post office, I'll tell you that.

Seriously?

It's extremely stressful

delivering people's mail.

I'm sure it is.

Yup.

Here's some ear protection.

Put those on. Great.

Let's get started.

Firearm safety is

everyone's responsibility.

Common 9mm pistol.

Easy to aim and carry.

Safety's here.

This is an M4 semi-automatic in 5.56.

No magazine...

nothing in the chamber.

That's how it's done.

This is a precision rifle in .308.

It's capable of amazing accuracy,

if you watch your breathing.

And finally, the last rule

and most important rule...

Better safe than shot.

Let's have a good time,

and let's make sure that we leave

with the same number of holes

in our body that we came with.

- Nice!

- Yes, I like this!

Well done.

How was that?

You're a natural.

Ha! Wow, that's fun.

That's well done.

Ah, when I squeeze

the trigger and hold it down,

that's when I hit dead center.

That's it!

Good job, yeah!

Nice. Nice grouping.

It's been a long time,

but still got some of it.

Yeah. I see all of it.

All right, keep going.

All right.

Wow. Got it. Got it!

So, here's your first shot.

You're ready for your zombie apocalypse.

Your second shot,

I don't know where that went.

Uh, oh, look,

here's a shot here by the heart.

You almost killed him.

Ah, Kara, shot him

in the lungs, can't breathe.

Ah, nice.

Oh, and Angela,

nice liver shot right there.

Good job.

So, we just shot some live

weapons, as John calls it.

He's our instructor.

Jim showed off his military training.

Angela surprised me,

she's actually not so bad,

and Seth, well...

Kara, we're all out of targets.

Can you go down range?

Bye.

I could get used to this.

Whoo!

Holy sh*t!

What? Sorry.

Yeah-ha-ha!

Scary!

Oh, dear.

Hoo.

Oh, sh*t.

Turn the safety on next time.

All right.

That was bad.

Yeah, so this weapon,

what was it, Wess...

- Wesson?

- Smith and Western.

Wesson.

I thought you... Wesson.

Don't play with me.

That was my favorite.

How 'bout you guys?

- The M4.

- Ooh, what you got there?

Tannerite.

We're gonna shoot it,

and when we do, it'll go boom!

Cool!

Can I try?

Of course.

Going down range.

Is this legal?

In certain states.

Damn it! Ugh!

You suck!

Let me show you how

a man fires a weapon.

Oh, please do.

Represent, Seth.

In anything I do when under pressure,

I never fail.

F***!

Oh, you sure shoot like a man!

- Jim?

- I'm good.

Angela?

No.

Kara, why don't you try again?

Going hot.

You think you can shoot, huh?

You think you can shoot?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna shoot you.

Yeah. I hit... like... a girl.

- Wow!

- That was great!

- Oh, boy.

- Let's go check the target.

Going down range.

- Hey! Hey!

- Kara, slow down!

Kara! Ka...

What is she doing?

She always does stuff like this.

Really?

Yeah, she's just always

getting into trouble.

It's okay. There's nothing

down there, anyway.

Hey, guys!

I think we hit something.

Some sort of dark red sand.

- Kara!

- Stay back!

- Kara!

- No! No, let me go! Let me go!

- Oh, f***.

- I have to get to her.

Kara! No!

Let me go!

Ohh...

Kara! Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Jim, are you okay?

Oh, Seth, help Jim!

Come on, go!

We got you, buddy.

Quadrant three search complete.

Moving to quadrant four.

Searching for EMP signatures.

What the hell was that stuff?

- John, have you got some water?

- Sure, sure!

Gosh, Kara, what were you thinking!

I'm such an idiot, I'm sorry!

I was just so excited

I hit the damn thing.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

- Seth, are you all right?

- Yeah.

- Here.

- Here, take this.

Jim! Jim, are you okay?

Can't... can't focus.

You guys, my phone is dead.

- Mine, too!

- What the freak!

- God!

- It's dead!

Now what?

- John!

- Hold on, wait a sec.

Jim, can you walk?

Let me try.

Let me try.

Help him up.

Come on, you guys. Come on.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes